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Caught in a tonado somehow being kept alive, and growing.

 Recent posts would indicate that James has been in a crushing depression as he experiences it. Borderline life threatening. 

He has been many before and always survived and learned. And grown. 

 The growth this time maybe to a new level, it seems that way. Building on earlier lessons as it should be. 

In hunger games the whole thing is orchestrated the horrors, the helps. So often it seems that way in
James pitiful little journey, like there are demons and sponsors intervening.

 This morning my dear friend said in an email, oh, Slidell Louisiana, an awful place as I recall. 

This I received after Spending hours last night here in Slidell curious about whether it would be my last night. A carload of people, a family maybe, decided to park one space away from where saul and I were asleep. Violent shouting from the car. A domestic abuse situation I believe. Only several days ago James would have been quite a wreck. This time, no. Recent posts have spoken of what James considers to be maybe the most fundamental of insights that people like Jesus were on 2, James was able to consider the individuals fighting in the car as soul and without willing it realize that whatever good he might be he wanted to do. And an older recollection, lesson, that he learned risking his life picking up trash at 4 in the morning in blighted Chester Pennsylvania so the elementary school campus was clean when the children and teachers arrive each morning, remembered realizing that if someone killed him that it would reduce the chances that the person would stay on the street and that might make someone else safer and he got complete comfort from that. In his imagination he sought creator as he has done throughout the last 20 years in his more lucid moments. Not asking for words but trying to gain that perspective. And with all that his decision was to make himself visible sitting on the back gate knowing nothing more to do but maybe slightly disturbing the situation without triggering. 

He had heard words about police. 

When he sat on the back gate without looking in The direction of the alter cation he did become aware of that there were several police cars now there. He made himself scarce. 

 After returning from being in the store to give the whole situation space he saw that  the police had left. He sort of hoped that the violent occupants were gone as well. At least several if not all remained. 

The mid twenties terribly disshevelled male, do you wanna cigaret he asked? I don't smoke friend. Violently he shot back, I'm not your friend. You saw and heard everything going on right? His obvious intent to pull me into the situation. I saw that there were some police, my reply. This being my honest answer. (I sleep with white noise on quite loud and could not even be sure of what language was being shouted from the vehicle very honestly.) 

 That was the last attention I paid to this poor twisted creature and being careful to measure my movements to avoid anything sudden I gradually slipped into the vehicle and decided to go to sleep if I could which I did. Fully expecting that some violence could well be visited on me and the vehicle. The rage was so strong in this individual. 

A somewhat acid test of the lessons that I thought I had been learning and re learning these recent days. 

As to whether Slidell is in fact a horrible place I don't know but this is the 1st time that James and saul have had this kind of encounter at a truck stop. New

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