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JAMES' PERSONAL WRITINGS: SLOVING
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Showing posts with label Soul Force. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Soul Force. Show all posts

6.21.2019

It was never time to be political, but that's all we've done and look it where....

It was never time to be political, but that's all we've done and look it where
it's gotten us. What if we tried doing the right thing? What if we took the consequences of doing the right thing, and then doing it again, and then doing it again, even if we knew we were going to fail? This is exactly what all the great souls in the history of the world have done, pleaded with us to do, died for us to do.

There is nothing left for us to lose materially except our denial and delusion. There is everything to be gained, in this process we would regain our souls. And this applies to any individual that makes the attempt.

2.19.2017

Our creator, Who Art in our deepest Soul, holy is your name. Thy kingdom comes as thy Loving is done on Earth as.....

Our creator, Who Art in our deepest Soul, holy is your name. Thy kingdom comes as thy Loving is done on Earth as we would do  if we had no earthly fear.  Give us all this day our daily bread, that is, our vision for this day of how to best serve our neediest on Earth. Lead us not into self-centeredness, but Deliver us into solidarity with the neediest. For loving is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

6.01.2016

The only Power, the only Power, the only Power... we have to make the world truly better is moral power, the power of our example, what Gandhi called Soul Force. Everything else is an illusion, and kills what little time we may have left. Hugs

The only Power, the only Power, the only Power... we have to make the world truly better is moral power, the power of our example, what Gandhi called Soul Force. Everything else is an illusion, and kills what little time we may have left. Hugs

5.21.2016

***** I am alone, isolated, fighting alone, ( and every breath filled with joy and peace ) because 15 years ago I did what terrifies Americans, what terrifies westerners, what terrifies we over-privileged, what terrifies liberals, what terrifies activist-inos... more than anything else in the world. I gave up. I surrendered. I refused to......

***** I am alone, isolated, fighting alone, ( and every breath filled with joy and peace ) because 15 years ago I did what terrifies Americans, what terrifies westerners, what terrifies we over-privileged, what terrifies liberals, what terrifies activist-inos... more than anything else in the world. I gave up. I surrendered. I refused to fight anymore... I refused any longer to fight my heart. I refused any longer to fight my conscience. They had been nagging at me my entire disgustingly over privileged life. I at long last caved, I gave in. I found within me a vow that I have adhered to ever since. I didn't make a vow,  as I find doing such things terribly counterproductive. I found the vow in my heart and I surrender to it for the greedy Joy of it. That vow that I found there and surrender to was that I would give my life to my human and nonhuman family on Earth as best I could with every breath. That I would never again prostitute myself to the values, machines, organizations, systems of Our Sick culture for one second, not for 1 cent, regardless of the personal consequences, that I would give my life and not divert one second to earning a life for myself. If my sisters and brothers were happy to let me expire, that wasn't my business, that wasn't my concern, and I would not  divert a second to that. And with never a second thought because of the overwhelming peace and joy of that path, and because of the singular hope that that path gives, I have never looked back, only forward to the absolute joy and peace and hope of that decision, that direction, of that path. That is,  I finally said yes to what we westerners have been taught to avoid with our last breath, I said yes to heart in charge ( not to be confused with self-indulgent sentimentality ) and thereby I allowed the material world that I had been taught to Crave as a Westerner to totally disintegrate, to totally turn against me because of the path that I walk. Again, never for one breath have I looked back because of the overwhelming joy and peace, every breath, and extreme pain of the suffering world that is my fuel, of that path. I gave into truth Force. I gave in to soulforce. I surrendered to my heart. I have worked assiduously to keep my heart in charge ever since and with very very very few moments of error, I have succeeded. It is heaven, the heaven that has always been written of, and the heaven not one in a million find. But it is the heaven that every true activist lives in by whatever words, or no words at all. The one in a Million. Obviously I use every neuron in my head, infinitely more than most. Obviously I find physical strength despite my stage 4 cancer and age that many people can't imagine. That's what the heart in charge does. I use my head. I use my flesh. More particularly my heart, that I deliberately and scrupulously keep in charge, uses  both my head and my flesh to the fullest. But I never make the mistake of letting them,  my head or flesh, be in charge, only my heart, with no credit to me. Finally, after 45 years of having my head and flesh in charge, I surrendered, I gave up, to my heart, my soul, my conscience. My heart has been my loving, immensely harsh, unimaginably wise master ever since. And so I am physically alone, and certainly will remain physically alone, and relatively materially impoverished, as a consequence, a price that I pay every day without a shred of regret, for the greedy, infinite,  joy and peace of Heart of it.

3.16.2015

***** SPDF day 14: are we really so sick, so degenerate, so pathologically self centered, that we think my life.... detail

***** SPDF day 14: are we really so sick, so degenerate, so pathologically self centered, that we think my life, our own life, even the life of our own children is the ultimate value to which everything else should be subordinated, in this year of 2015 when everything that is good and decent on earth is passing the final seconds when it can be saved? Really? In the face of a ecocide forever my life is more important than a chance to stop that? In the face of the final death of democracy in America my life is not worth giving now for that? Really? With the likelihood that in another 18 months another 2000 or more Palestinians will be slaughtered, with the certainty that millions of Palestinians every hour of every day will be, are being, terrorized, tormented, tortured, terminated... by the US, Israeli, goon squads, my life is not worth giving for that? Insanity. Disgusting degeneracy. Enough. Join me or keep your maudlin sympathy to yourself. Enough! Enough!!! Enough of this madness.  More at start-loving.blogspot.com

10.30.2013

***** Cancer Update: Utterly astounding. Only one person in my entire 62 years, just one, has had a desperate, desperate, desperate, desire to spend time with me, to get to know me.

***** Utterly astounding.  Only one person in my entire 62 years, just one, has had a desperate, desperate, desperate, desire to spend time with me, to get to know me.

Do you know about whom I'm speaking?  Do you know about who I am not speaking?  I don't mean I'm Holding anyone off the list, rather that no one has been left off the potential list, persons who otherwise might be obvious choices.

I'm not speaking of any of my coworkers, not at any point in my career.  I'm not speaking of any of my bosses, not at any point in my career.  I'm not speaking of my biological children.  Not speaking of my biological mother.  I'm not speaking of my biological sisters.  I'm not speaking of my brothers and sisters in law.  I'm not speaking of the non biological family that literally have adjusted their own lives in major ways so that my life, my actual existence, would continue.  I'm certainly not speaking of anyone in the so called church.  I'm not speaking of anyone in the activist movement, including the few that I consider to be activists, and that may even consider me to be one.

Well, I just thought of one exception.  My dog Ralf, truly,, and at some level that's probably very significant.  But I'll not spend more time on it here. A college, early marriage companion.  An extraordinary force of nature.

I'm not speaking of the one person that I know has loved me, and shaped me, more than any other life or the creator itself.   My dad.  I'm speaking of my dad.  And though I will not explore it here, every aspect and more, including the implications, probably apply to him almost completely, and to no one else that he or I have ever known.

Me.  I'm talking about me.  The person that has desperately wanted to spend time with me, as much time as possible in each day,, to get to know me intimately, is me; no one else, at any time,.

Now, several things by way of reference.

I don't know how unusual it would be for a 62 year old man to have these perceptions, or woman, for that matter.  My suspicion is that it is extremely rare that anyone in this society wants to spend much time with themselves at all, let alone massive amounts of time so that they know every relevant detail.

Some readers may be burning with the term narcissism at this point.  But that is not what it is.  Only in the last decade or so do I have any awareness at all of liking me.  Any awareness before that I have is one of great dislike, great dissatisfaction, agony at my infinite shortfalls.

What has changed in the last 15 years?  Not that these shortfalls had been healed!  What I understand is that I am immensely of interest, beautiful, fascinating, of near infinite potential, of deadly shortfall; a project of infinite importance, of infinite potential to become what the world needs of me, of near total shortfall, and a project so absolutely in fixing himself that any other possible pursuit on earth tends to pale in its presence, for lack of interest complex in the detail challenge importance….

Now, this "me," that so doggedly has wanted to spend time with me, time at the expense of time I could spend getting to know others?  No!  No!  No!  No!  But to me I was largely and uniquely available.  And no one else wanted me to get to know them. Pretty much, ever.

The degree to which I've devoted massive decades to coming to know me, was that a preference over knowing others?  No!  No!....  But A.  No one else cared to have me know them, and 2.  As my own available Guinea pig, any time that I didn't have to get to know others, if I used that time effectively, I gained in my ability to use rare time with others more effectively.

Was my interest in knowing me, more especially, to know what was different and special about me?  Absolutely not!!!  Then, now, and forever, I perceive, I've learned, I understand, I've seen confirmed, that in everything from our DNA to our learned aspects of our nervous system, we are all 99.999% the same in our attributes.  And that all important changes, differences, which tend to be the source of joy and suffering, are due to our ignorant, inept, clumsy handling of common features to make us mistakenly feel like alien beings from one another.

As I said at the onset, I've never had these thoughts before except an isolated fragment here or an isolated fragment there, but this is profoundly new for me within the last hour, and I'm immensely glad to have it.  If there are a few that have known me for many many years, the few might find it interesting to know.

Will I be writing more on this subject?  Will I be exploring this in some depth?  Will this be my last writing in this domain.  I have no idea.

Note:  LOL.  What I do know is that by Monday, 10 days of recovery from a massive, massive, massive operation will be behind me.  That my veins are coursing with morphine: that more pain signals are being sent into me than I am paying attention to.  Make no mistake, I have zero time, now more than ever, for idle chatter.  I'm writing this because I am certain it is worth sharing.  But that does not mean I am correct.  And I owe it to anyone that has read this far to be reminded of what physically is going on with me.