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Loving, where will you go after the homeless shelter? (from a note to a friend)

I am awed and humbled to be any small part of your life.  And if I
am ever some small help, as you say I've been, well, I don't get
it, but I sure am glad.

Where will I go when I leave the shelter?  This is pretty interesting
to me, and pretty amazing, as the Creator is Teaching me, here,
now, through working through all these life changes, adjustments....

This shelter is a godsend to me right now.  I'm of virtually zero value
to anyone, or anything on earth, right now... despite devoting every waking
second to the contrary - I can't get any purchase, any traction, make
any difference.  This is the most crushing thing in my life, personally.
But there it is. 

In part due to this, to be somewhere, where near zero resources
are consumed by my existence, well, I couldn't bear, I couldn't  survive anything
but this.  I consume the floor space allocated to 1/2 mattress (bunk bed),
one meal per day (what, $2 a day in cost to humanity, the other meal
each day from dumpster-diving kind of stuff), among 250
African American men 50 years and older who are among the survivors
of the chronic, deadly, psychic and material abuse and starvation that is the
lot of minorities, the poor, in the US... and I'm free to follow the Creator's,
Creation's... path for me, spoken of somewhat in today's earlier email...
being in this shelter is virtually perfect for me - a Godsend.

And it is closing sometime in the next 9-18 months based on news
and word on the street - being torn down for high rent space.  Stark
word of this about a month ago was quite a shock and alarm to me.
It sent me into a tizzy of activity - to approach tapping my Social
Security, early (I'm 62), and go thru the steps available to me as a
Senior, with Social Security (at 2x the poverty level) to get subsidized
housing, here in DC!  Salvation.  I could probably secure something
in time!

And then, thank CREATOR, it hit me.  No, you ain't takin some lifeboat
due to your 'privilege' (over-resourced upbringing, Senior status...) ...
a lifeboat unavailable to some others in the shelter - without Social Security,
not white, under 62....  No, that ain't gunna happen.

So, I've cancelled all those efforts...

So... I don't know what will happen to me, us.  We were pretty much told
here that some of us would be moved well out of the city (out of sight)
to a shelter... and for the rest of us, lots of prisons are being built
every day for we increasingly criminalized poor.

I've found that Loving has a number of synonyms - one of them being -
Solidarity.  If it is NOT Solidarity, it is NOT Loving.  I expect to live in
Solidarity with the lot of the most disadvantaged of those here in the
shelter. It is not a pretty outlook for them in this new Amerika - of, by
and for the rich.  So, materially, it is not a pretty outlook for me, and
that is how I expect it will be.  I'll not have it any other way, I expect.

I DO expect to begin activating my early retirement, as I told you 6 months ago
I expected to do, and some small portion of that, occasionally, I'll send to you,
to lessen your struggles a tiny bit, that agonize me so.  SPARE ME THE OBJECTION -
burn it if you like, give it away if you like.  But, if you are doing the
Creator's will, as I think you are trying to do, then you will NOT
disrespect the Creator, and you will use what tiny funds I can on
rare occasions send, in support of your efforts. 

The retirement funds, I expect to use to fund Loving, those few
places I think it is being done - there is a clinic, in Africa (I think?),
where sheroic work is done by a lady doctor serving outcast women
suffering with the blight of fistulas, for example...

I'll keep a few $, literally, per day for 'office space rent,'
he he he, coffee and tip for a coffee shop
that is happy to have me sit there and work from time to time; if my
computer breaks, I'll retain $ that month to fix it, but other than that...
my life, my work, can't find traction... but there are others that are Loving who's
lives HAVE found traction... and I'll use my funds to support them in
their work.

--------------- COMMENTS ON FB TO THE ABOVE -----------

SH:  Wow!

RC:  ve touched my life and many others. To me that is "traction" even though it is not on a scale you would like it to be. If all of us could reach out as you have, to many unknown people, and touch some reaction in their lives, what a great thing that would be. Sadly, we don't all have your skills and your ability to find all the info you find and share so that many of us are kept well informed. That to me means your life is solid 'traction' and I just want you to know that you have succeded (perhaps not the way you expected) in changing our world. One step at a time is more than most accomplish. It scares me to think of you without your shelter but know when that time comes you will not be alone and many of us will be standing by to do what ever humble thing we can do to help. 

KG:  I still hope you will do your work from a small farm in upstate NY!
My house goes on the market in June!

Loving:  RC, there, you've made me cry. You are so kind, and good, to me, always. I don't discount what you say - how can my life mean nothing if you say that in some small way it has helped you? It is like this - my toddler is suddenly in the middle of the highway, and I can only get part way there before she is hit, despite all my efforts - I've DONE NOTHING - in that case. Humanity is my toddler. Creation is my toddler - that's how I experience it; and I can't get her out of danger in time. I pray you understand, and don't think I"m not touched by your kindness, and Loving. I am.

Loving:  KG, the only thing I EVER know about me is that with each breath, with the next breath, I'll do WHATEVER I understand Creation wants / needs of me; WHATEVER the Creator wants of me; WHATEVER can best serve Creation, Humanity. What will that be tomorrow, next week, next month...? It will be what it will be. Know this, you and Beth (pls tell her for me), numerous times now you two have offered me a place to live, and do my work. At the moment, I'm on pretty solid shores, per my earlier status, post, of today, but not that many weeks, months, ago you made this unspeakably Humane offer when I was on much shaker ground Spiritually, physically.... I can't possibly express adequately what a Godsend of Loving your offer was, is, to me, a stepping-stone of Goodness to help me along the path; that the Creator makes pretty difficult for me often times! Argh. LOL. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

KG:  (((Hugs)))) you will always have a place as long as I have a beating heart! Always! I respect and honor that you have a higher path then most. One day that path may lead you to my door and I will with a happy heart welcome you in. ((( hugs)))   

SS:   I sent you a note. I'm with Kathy

Loving:  SS, what can I say?  Heart, Heart, Heart.  Whatever Creation, the Creator says, I'll do.  Bless your Heart.  Time only knows.  

SS:  We'll see. But you're not homeless.

Loving:  :-)  Heart.   I am, until Creator says otherwise, but I Hear you, Deeply. Bless your Hearts. Maybe we are becoming Family, some of us. By whatever name, Universal Family, is the only Cure for what is killing everything.  


****** An update on Loving (part of a note to a friend):

Living on the Titanic after it hit the berg would be a nightmare, right?
That's where I live, cept it isn't the Titanic, it is earth, and it isn't one
berg, it is two - Life support collapse thru fossil fuels and the death
of US democracy, sold out to the highest bidders - Walton's, Koch's,

With your recent Fed encounter, I feel you are experiencing some of that
2nd berg with your recent trauma. Up until several months
ago I had the deepest of affinities with our men and women in uniform.
Then, it changed.  Why?  It hit me - I'm not a white male in a business suit
any more (see article here
for just a glimpse of what is going on

throughout the nation re we poor); and that we have, and always have
had, not one, but two uniformed forces in this country (same people):
1 for the rich and middle class; another for the poor (the majority).  The
first force is Friend to the rich and middle class, EXACTLY by being
foe to the poor - keeping we prisoners under control.  Sorry if this sounds
conspiracy theory stuff - it is not - it is poetically expressing obvious

Occasionally, in officer strewn DC, when I pass an officer or
two, or a gaggle of them, I'll stop and comment, with respect and affection
that they can see plainly - 'gentlemen, you are soon likely to determine
the fate of this country.  They are going to send you for us, we the
people, and unless you say, no, not them, we are going for the
bankers, and republicans in congress... it is over.'  That's the now Fatal truth,
unless there is a Miracle awakening starting with the 2014 election.
(Even the likes of that amazing Eliz Warren can't save us, by

Dealing with the above, sorting thru it, facing it, embracing the Truth
of it... has been one of the two darkest times of my life.  What Saved
me the first time, and recently, I think, this time, was realizing - ok,
you can't see how to fix this... so what are you going to do?  'BE LOVING,'
is the answer.  Sound silly?  LOL.  'Loving,' I can see how to do that,
how to more and more 'incarnate' that,
in pitifully small and insignificant ways, that to anyone else looks like
insane meaninglessness, waste of time, waste of life, even irresponsibility...
but to me, and the Creator, is Loving.  I guess I'm doing
3 things, with Every breath, 7 days a week:

1.  I keep myself current on the pains of the world, and work to update
others, on my FaceBook .page. For a variety of reasons my blog gets
near zero of my time anymore; and all goes to FB.

2.  I'm 9 months into studying the scholarship that near drowns me in it's rigor,
on the historical, academically historical, Jesus, and early following
of Jesus.  Why?  I've thought that if anyone could save us today,
from the above, it is Jesus, the man, not the myth or made-up stuff.
I've felt almost clueless for most of this study... because I found the
scholarship near impenetrable ... but all of a sudden the mosaic is coming
into focus.  My life's path, the direction I've found to serve... is so much
what He found so long ago.  Only several days ago it crystallized for me
this way -
Jesus' Economy

3.  And these, above, finding out what they mean for me, how
I am to be them, how I am to, live, to model, to teach them... will be my path going
forward.  As silly as it may seem, I think Jesus would scream,
to the following, and the one above, YES, THAT'S IT!  IT'S THE ECONOMY
STUPID; it's what we spend our lives on, our personal, and collective, Economy:

Aboriginal tribes, native americans, pre-agrarian societies had
infinitely more the Economy that the Creator intended - Serving
people rather than Serving $$$$.

Well, blah, blah, blah....  That's an update on me.


(((((HUGS)))))   [[[[ post 2 from today ]]]]