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Comments? 099. I refuse to not be a True threat to the status quo of needless suffering and death

099.  I refuse to not be a True threat to the status quo of needless suffering and death

Am I a true threat to the status quo?  Presumably the status quo, that anyone listening to this, would bring to their own mind - the status quo of citizens united and saving democracy; the status quo of environmental Armageddon, the status quo of an ever widening gap between the Uber rich and the rest, trying to barely eke out their middle-class overprivilege.  
Do we ever ask ourselves the question; do we frequently ask our self the question, am I an existential threat to the status quo?
We don't, do we? We don't.  Not deeply, not seriously.  Not even superficially!  We don't ask that question.   Then, what are we doing friends?
I see smoke coming out of my bedroom window. Uh, I guess I'll do something. Huh?  That's not what we do, that's not what we say.  I guess I'll do something?!?!   What might be an existential threat to the smoke and presumed fire coming out of my bedroom window?!?! What might be an existential threat to the hundred and 6 degree temperature that my daughter has had for six days now?  What might be an existential threat to my looming unemployment that terrifies me, gives me night sweats? This is what the heart asks.   This is what the nervous system asks, when it feels in complete, atomic level, neurological, solidarity with that which is at risk.  It automatically, subconsciously asks the question - what do I have to do to become an existential threat to the problem which is the status quo?
And without that solidarity we're murder friends.  You don't want to be that.  Use this information.  Hold yourself to a higher standard.  That's what you want.  
Our society is so devoid of potent activist models.  We're so distracted from studying those who have been the great models in history.  It's not your fault that you didn't know.
But it will be going forward, if you don't heed.

Comments? 098. If I fight battles, but am not possessed by a campaign, I'm ranting, not helping. No vision of winning, no hope

098. If I fight battles, but am not possessed by a campaign, I'm ranting, not helping. No vision of winning, no hope

So the end of this year there'll be on hunger strike.   Tomorrow there will be a demonstration at BP.  Six months from now there will be attempts of legislation in the halls of Congress.... 

To look at this from a different angle - so my daughter's had a temperature of 106 for five days; so tonight I'll try some different medicine; tomorrow I'll call the doctor; the next they'll call a nurse, the following day, oh, maybe I'll drive my daughter to the emergency room, except she probably won't still be alive.  In this second case maybe some of the absurdity is apparent. 

In situations that we understand are personal to us, of emergency, we don't do tactics.  We don't do things.  We do a plan.  We do a vision.  Yes, it might be a situation we've never been in before, but we still hold ourselves to the best possible plan, the best comprehensive vision, as inadequate as it might be, and then we select our tactics within that plan, within that vision, and we adjust, adjust, but always within a plan, a failure is not an option plan. 

So, we are going to have the Rio conference to avert environmental Armageddon.   I mean that's what we did.  That's what we had.  An attempt.  An action.  An event.  Earlier, we had an attempt at Graham Lieberman legislation a couple of years ago.  

If we treated our sick children this way they wouldn't survive.  That would be so obvious to us.
But when we are being 'nice people,' being activists and failure is an option, well, failure IS an option! Pressure is off!  I mean, it isn't like anyone is going to die if we f*ck up!  Oh.  Never mind.

But when failure is not an option, when we are living out of the family emergency response, what we do as activists is the height of absurdity, and we see it instantly, in ourselves, in others.  Right?  I don't want to do tactics, actions like - take my daughter the hospital, give her a different medicine, get her a nurse.... I want to get her well!!!!!  And by God, I will!

Well everything backs up to that, and when that part of the nervous system is involved,  it doesn't let us make this deadly mistake of, oh, let's do tactics.  Huh?  The 'family emergency response circuits' catches such let's-do-tactics insanity, automatically.  And when we're not operating out of the family emergency response, our nervous system will let us go on forever killing the time of the clients that we are purporting to want to serve and save. 

The non-family emergency response doesn't differentiate between isolated tactics that go on and fail for decades, and tactics that are part of a vision.  Different circuits friends.  Everything depends upon operating out of the heart, the family emergency response.  It automatically catches this stuff.  And with the head and the flesh in charge it never gets caught.  We feel good about ourselves, we overprivileged people, we collect our paychecks, we collect your kudos, and the Grim Reaper collects our clients. 
How much longer will you live, and kill by, failure-is-an-option?

Comments? 097. Each day I fail, my client's suffer and die; no matter how good I felt attempting to help

097. Each day I fail, my client's suffer and die; no matter how good I felt attempting to help
Yes friends, this is somewhat redundant, as were the thousands of laps that I swam as a college swim team captain.  As were the hundreds of falls I took on hundreds or thousands of ski runs, as are the hundreds of times that I've used personal trainers, and these most recent personal trainers to reshape my nervous system in radically different directions as needed by the situations; as were the 120 or so minutes that Teresa of Calcutta spent every day, every day in what she called prayer, to be what the world needed her to be; and same with Gandhi, and King?
Everything, all hundred and five characteristics come as a result of engaging the family emergency response – absolute solidarity; all come immediately, or over time as the one in family emergency response applies themselves.  Without family emergency response the characteristics can be mimicked, counterfeit versions manifest, imitation versions (by counterfeit I didn't mean derogatory) practiced, imitation versions are fashioned by the head and the flesh. Oh yes. They're not the equivalent. They're not the same, they're not remotely the same.  They don't have the courage, the vision, the inclusiveness, the wisdom, the power, the reach, these faux characteristics. 
History's enormously potent and effective unviolent warriors - were they a product of deliberate action to create themselves?  Were they a product of circumstance, of upbringing?  Some combination of all three.   But whoever we've known as an insanely humane warrior throughout history, has been in complete solidarity with those they serve; as in complete solidarity as I am with my leg if it is about to be run over by a car; I'm in complete solidarity with that leg. 
When we have seen activists that were potent, that were world changing on a small or large scale, they were in complete solidarity with those that were serving, because there's no other way to trigger the nervous system to that level of performance.  And this is almost never seen, this is almost never understood, this is virtually never understood, by activists in the last 40 years, by most so called activists ever.  
And everything depends upon, and everything comes with this utter and complete solidarity.  And disconnected from this, that every second I fail, every day I fail, every month I fail, every year I fail, every decade I fail, my clients suffer and die.... When we disconnect from this absolute solidarity, or when we fail to establish it within ourselves, we get decades of failure, and our clients get decades of needless, unjust, criminally negligent suffering and death.  And do we, less than in 100%, immediate family solidarity, feel badly about that?  Yes.   And, as long as we stay disconnected from this truth, this solidarity, with their suffering and death being exactly like it were our own, will we ever jump to the level where we make the miracle of changing the status quo, which is what's causing the suffering, and what's causing the death? 
As long as we stay disconnected, not in complete solidarity, will we ever jump to the level of miracle worker?  Impossible.  But we will happily collect the gratification from being a nice person, from 'trying', probably collect a paycheck from some nice nonprofit, applause from our friends….
But unless the cycle is broken now friend, we've so bankrupt our mother Earth that it's curtains on a livable future for 200 billion starting with every young person today.

Comments? 096. I reject lip-service from myself, others, for the deadly delusion that it is

096. I reject lip-service from myself, others, for the deadly delusion that it is
I don't grasp what it is about lipservice, the enormous seduction that it is.  I should grasp it.  My goodness I've personally fallen victim to it's call, a lot in my early years; and watched people victimized by it in industry for decades.  But because the work that I did was so high-stakes, so failure is not an option, throughout my adulthood, I have neither personally partaken of, nor worked with much, people of lipservice. Hence I don't have the grasp I would like to of what's at work there.
Activism is the last refuge of scoundrels, my brothers and sisters all.  Is it a malicious plot, is it a conscious plot?  No.  With few exceptions the answer is 'no.'  But that makes it more deadly, not less deadly.  More deadly because it's so unrecognized, so accepted, like scurvy and other diseases of old, and what's unrecognized goes untreated, undiagnosed, accepted, along with the resulting carnage.  
Lipservice is a tonic for the ego, and often cloaks itself as a necessary statement of intentions for oneself, and for one's audience; as necessary and meaningful direction.  But it's all an illusion; it's all delusion. 
The potent unviolent warriors throughout history, they're people of deeds.  They're people of deeds because they know words to be too little too late, by a factor of 4 or 40.   The potent warriors are people living the family emergency response.   Words aren't going to save their family from the suffering and death.  Actions are.   The heart knows that words tend to beget words; action tends to beget action. 
Our society is so sick, that those that farther than most; those that get as far as aggressively articulating their noble desires and good intentions, are understandably so impressed with themselves, and so encouraged.  It feels so good to state what is needed, to state what is right, that with few exceptions they get stuck there, and stuck, and stuck, and contentedly never do the world any good.  They substitute the words and the good feeling of articulating the words for the accomplishment, or the committed, unrelenting, unceasing commitment in action to accomplishment. 
This is so understandable.  This is so totally deadly - to our global neediest, which is now the entire future of humanity as we're faced with near certain environmental Armageddon. Lipservice in this day and age more than ever is immensely understandable friends, and it is totally deadly, to your personal hopefulness, helpfulness, to your personal joy, to your chance at giving humanity a future.
And, it is epidemic.

Death Fast Restart, now? Who knows. Not me, yet

To my inexpressibly kind, would be benefactor - I've not forgotten your immense offer to replace the laptop, and continue the wifi.  I'm aglow with the thought of the kindness.  And it opens a whole new avenue for me.

But, what is the right avenue?

I wrote recently about how the death fast changed the field, the battlefield. Yes, and no.

Has it shown me other INSHE Warriors?  No.  It has shown me that there currently are none.  Harsh?  Hmmm.  Well, I run a 105 characteristic gauntlet, pretty harsh, at least once per day, and when I run the most promising folks I've seen through it in my mind, uh, no, no INSHE warriors, not by a mile.  Potential?  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  At least two that if they applied themselves, ran the gauntlet daily, Personal Trainer, or multiple times per day, could travel the distance in weeks, or a few months, that I've taken 60 years to travel, and be INSHE Warriors.  But will they?  Unsure. No signs 'yes,' and, entropy wins by default.    PT 105.  If I don't continuously burn with blue hot flame, on most, or near all of the characteristics, I'll not start the fire.  Close only counts in horse-shoes and hand-grenades.

And then there is this - 'Till enough are seen dying for it, global warming won't stop. When enough are seen dying for it, global warming will stop.'  Hmm.  That is still the bottom line.  1000 starts with 1.

What constitutes "Dying for it?"
  1. Good intentions?  Uh, no.  Good ideas, of stuff in the future?  Uh, no.
  2. Folks year end, here in DC on 40 day hunger strike.  If disciplined, somber, serious, resolute to resume on a 2nd, 3rd, 4th... wave after wave till they've won?  Yes.
  3. TALK of #2? Uh, no. 
  4. Dying for the next 6 months 7/24 to make such a miracle as #2 happen?  Yes.
  5. Intentions for #2? No.
  6. Talk, intentions of folks doing hunger strikes around the country?  No.
  7. The Miracle of #5 happening? Yes, but Miracles only happen when one(s) devote, focus, totally commit themselves.  They don't happen part time, by wishing, hoping.... They don't.  
  8. One or more devoting themselves to becoming INSHE warriors, using the PT multiple times a day for deep training?  Probably.  But no indications of anyone but me doing that.
So, as it stands, I stand alone. 

A.  What is the best course for Loving if he remains the lone INSHE warrior fighting environmental Armageddon?  Probably immediate death fast.  1000 starts with 1.
B.  Does he calculate that 1 or two will devote themselves to becoming INSHE warriors, now, fast enough?
C.  If he calculates 'yes' to B, and it appears unlikely, but if he calculates 'yes,' does he delay by 6 months his death fast?
D.  Does he calculate yes to #2, #4, #7, #8 above.  BASED ON WHAT SOLID INFORMATION?

Much to decide.

In the meantime I make do with this netbook (can you hear me scream?!?!?!!?), work on finishing the books, re-establish the software for transcribing the new essays, and for creating audio book versions.

And deal with the heat.

Loving u



104. You're dying for something. We all are. I'm dying for Humanity, Loving, Joy, Creation.

104. You're dying for something. We all are.  I'm dying for Humanity, Loving, Joy, Creation.

Essay and video log to follow.

PT 105. I burn at 451 Deg F or I'm an enemy of the fire. MAJOR ESSAY TO FOLLOW.

PT 105.  I burn at 451 Deg F or I'm an enemy of the fire. 


OCCUPY - THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN RANTING - "deMoralized state of the left"



  • Messaging is not a strategy.
  • Hanging out is not a tactic.
  • Ranting, taunting, goading are not weapons of construction.
  • Science, legal 'rights,' are not a morality -but amoral.
  • All things to all people is self-mutilating, self-serving, arrogance.
  • Blind 'inclusiveness' - all can be on the team - is intellectual bankruptcy, extreme self-indulgence, spiritual masturbation.







BBC: Rio Env Summit: Was a "once in a generation chance." TOTAL FAILURE.

Rio Env Summit: Was a "once in a generation chance." TOTAL FAILURE.


June 22 re Death Fast - To a great, great friend, offering major assistance toward securing a laptop,

To a great, great friend, offering major assistance toward securing a laptop,
I'm crying with the shocking receipt of your email.  Why? Kindness. Goodness.  There is so little on Earth now.  No, you need to hear me.  It is not desperation.  Maybe it should be, but it is not.  It is not my business what the world does, or what the Creator does.  It is not my business what any individual does. Ever. Thank the Creator this is true, has been a Truth, an invariable, inviolate truth in my DNA for many years now - 7 or so?  
But sadness? Frustration?  Longing for things to change, for the next 2000 generations to have a chance?  Deep, deep, deep fatigue?  Yes.
This morning it was clear to me, but beginning last night, it was clear to me that there is zero threat to the status quo of environmental Armageddon.  Zero.  I've encountered our most hopeful citizens, quite intensely these last 2 months.  I expected to encounter no one, but I was mistaken – folks from Occupy, thought leaders in the anti-global warming movement, and YOU.  And by last night....
The computer being stolen was a profound blessing.  I get soooooooo caught up in the centrally crucial function of being a tough as nails cheerleader (93% of all True leadership?) that there is much that all the 'noise' that I make drowns out.  I'm not meaning to be at all cryptic, but this is the best I can communicate it.  So, the theft of the laptop was a gift, an immense Gift of the Creator - 'LOVING, SHUT UP, AND LISTEN, LOOK, WATCH, SEE AROUND YOU.'  And what I saw, in part, I wrote just seconds before your email arrived this morning, with detail to follow as I record the attendant video logs and essays for book 2 - Personal Trainer – 
·        098. If I fight battles, but am not possessed by a campaign, I'm ranting, not serving. No vision for winning, no hope
·        099.  I refuse to not be a True threat to the status quo of needless suffering and death, whatever it costs me
·        100.  No unviolent army, no hope
·        101. All I want is a clear view of the battlefield so I know how to best fight

·        102. I'm exactly like a prospector, in a really unpromising stream, prospecting for the least glimpse of Heart(s)
I make zero assumptions of anyone, ever.  If I ever share with someone a need of the campaign, I only do so if I perceive that I can do it without laying on pressure.  100.000000% of my hope is in the Heart of people, and anything and everything else is instead of Heart - expectations, pressure....
The ONLY thing I want, bottom line, is for the next 2000 generations to have a decent shot at Life.  
I got a really good and unexpected look at the prospects of that here in DC, power capital of the world, and, well, the next 200 billion people are screwed – thanks to the clinical Deadness of the left, right and center.  I didn't expect to see that even clearer still, but omg, I'm so grateful I did.  All I want is a clear view of the battlefield so I know how to fight.  And these last 8 weeks have given me way clearer than I had going in even.  The next 200 billion, are screwed.
Point?  As I woke in thought this morning, I'm clear, and excited with clarity that 80% confidence level this  is time for me to return to the death fast.  'Till enough are seen dying for it, global warming won't stop.' 'When enough are seen dying for it, global warming will stop.' I sent a link yesterday or so of the 17 year old 'child' that addressed the global warming conference in Rio, what, 20 years after the first Rio conference. WE'VE DONE SQUAT.  Watch the vid.  Trilby I think her name is?
It was more like 98% likelihood of immediate death fast, clear to me, comforting, to begin within the week, and then your email this morning offering major help with the computer / online situation.
If I had a competent laptop, and wifi, and a backup drive or 2 -they stole those too- the vermin can't get $.50 each for them. the truth is, that might change the equation.  :-)  LOL, and I'm not sure I want that!  Description: =)) rolling on the floorDescription: =)) rolling on the floorDescription: =)) rolling on the floor  The notion, unexpected, that return to the death fast within the week is exactly right, was, well, clear, and comforting - a clear track to run on again!
The Dell Vostro would open up a whole new avenue for me fighting - internet, blogging, staying here in front of the Can. Embassy pressing the issue, and taking the Tracking Plan B blog to the next level.  And, preparing for death fast Jan 1, by when the DC climate club will have proven once again that, well, they are a club, not remotely an unviolent army – Lincoln's McClellan or Britain's Neville Chamberlain; nor is DC Occupy, which shows near zero chance of becoming as serious threat to the status quo; no disrespect to anyone, but they are here to play, play at activism, not to hold themselves to the standards of the situation, what's needed, the potent activism. (Writing to you just gave me (reminded me of) characteristic 100.  No unviolent army, no hope.)  Jan 1, 2013, the year to stop the BS, and for citizens to stop watching the club play, and do it themselves.
The requirements of that Dell Vostro avenue are - The vostro, should be under $800 with tax.  I spent much of the last 2 days, massively crippled on this netbook, but limping, fully researching, new, refurb, scratch and dent, other manufacturers.... the vostro, new, from Dell would be the weapon.  However, the greatest torture of me for years now, since Thomas death, has been the wifi umbilical to the internet - - pretty fast, cheaper, and for the next 2-3 months, maybe way cheaper - $25 per month for the next 2-3 mos, then returning to the normal, still way cheaper $50/month.  Since Thomas death it has been at risk of dying for lack of funds, almost every month.  It is month to month, no contract, just a cred card that they charge, and can be cancelled any time.  But the computer war option, vs immediate death fast, would require that wifi be in place, handled, taken care of, off my mind. It is just too draining to wonder month after month if something is going to save it - so, that's another $300 through year's end.  I'd need 1 or two backup disk drives.  Just started researching them.  The vermin got a 500gb drive, but now that those files are gone :-( I don't need that big - probably another $130 bucks total.  That's about $1350-1400 bucks!
And finally, and this I'll probably need whether it is to be death strike now, or computer war now -  the gift of a used self-inflating sleep mat that I also use on my little folding chair is an incredible comfort gift, but the valve on it is increasingly leaking – This is the item .  Regular, not large or xl.  $60 or so if one shops carefully.
Did I just ask for all this; any of this?  Do I expect you to do it?  Will I think less or more of you if you do or don't?  NO.  NO.  NO.
NO.  NO.  NO.
I'll ponder all this as the day(s) go on.  You too.  In your magnificent Heart, that I see now, these recent months.  What a Godsend.  (crying again)

Loving u, either way, forever, no matter what
Ps: This heat is quite debilitating, slowwwwwwwing me down.