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71y/o and only now with the tools to make acquaintance with the man Jesus.

Many weeks now in the desert spent extracting his 1000 teachings from underneath the mountains of dogma, mysticism, proof of divinity statements in the gospels. And I've randomized it and in groups of three and four am slowly working to make them part of me. And he is emerging as never before. There's no other way to get to know, and to love the man, and finally I'm in a position to do it. And so are you I think because I've made the file available here.

Identification: Jesus believed that the Creator was dominant with in all of as children. The worldly cultures arou....

Identification: Jesus believed that the Creator was dominant with in all of as children. The worldly cultures around us draw us out of that family. By totally identifying with the Creator within him he made that manifest, and made of himself a Beacon of light to some others of us to return to that family, to return to that total identification

To any considering suicide: I haven't liked being alive for....

To any considering suicide: I haven't liked being alive for many many years. I find this world hell, all the nastiness, selfishness, cruelty, denial, hoarding, hatefulness.... And I have a hunch that those with the most enviable, joyful, lives in my eyes throughout history may have felt much the same. Jesus, Bonhoeffer, Tolstoy, Buddha, Schweitzer, Jesus said unless you hate your life in this world you cannot be my disciple. If you love


Major update


I actually see how to save the world, for the first time. And for all practical purposes I see how to save an individual. No, really. 

I don't know that what I see is the only way, tho it may be, but it is certainly a way. It's not going to happen, it's too little too late, as far as saving the world, but not too late necessarily to save the child within an individual, bringing them back from the death that we visit on them with our culture. 

I think Jesus found it, I think he was on to it. I think he lived it, taught it, provided the paradigm and the teachings. There may be millions that have taken him at his word, if you feed on me you will live, feeding on his words and example, taking them to heart, deeply understanding them, living them, there may be millions or billions, but I'm not sure there are any. And until I find it's a dead end or there's a better way to spend my life, I'm going to try and do it.

And in the last three or four days that I have been stepping out in this direction it's exhausting, it's hard work mentally, it requires disciplines and habits that are contrary to what I have, I don't have the skills to learn and incorporate his 1000 teachings so I'm really stumbling, but I intend to keep stumbling. 

This stage, my view, is capacity building, skill building, strength building. It's a lot of hard work.

Logistically it seems that things are working out, but in this sparsely populated relatively vast Owens valley, Lone pine area, I'm finding ways to stay out of sight, out of mind, and quite a few people, not all, but quite a few people at least tolerate and I think even like me. I think quite a few are basically glad that I'm around. They like what they see. They're curious, they're interested, and as I say, I stay out of sight and out of mind, not hiding, just trying to be out of sight out of mind. 

Every other day I do an hour or so of cycling to try and stay in shape. But other than that I am pretty well sequestered and doing a tremendous amount of study, and reflection, and study, and attempting to gain recall of the bulk of the thousand teachings that Jesus gave us about how to be in this world. I totally don't have the skills to do this. Right now I'm just using brute force, maybe some techniques will develop but I'm not counting on it.

Inarguably anyone that lived his way would live sustainably in this world. Anyone that does live his way can have the joy and peace that comes from knowing that they're doing their part. And that they're manifesting the paradigm that maybe someone else could see and do the same. And it's very demanding, because it requires living in front of the creator, the highest potentialities within personified. And that increases the intensity and velocity of one's life and living, which is exhausting and hard and even frightening, but it also gives more life, and a sense of peace that probably can come no other way. 

I expect to be in this area for another month hoping to move from novice to intermediate level competence and then to resume my traveling ministry bringing that greater competence with me. 

A dental checkup several weeks ago yielded treatment recommendations of about $5,000. I quickly scheduled appointments before I knew the cost and then just as quickly canceled them. The treatment plan was suggested to me by the dentist who said he didn't know how much it would cost but after we met I could meet with his receptionist and she would tell me which meant that I could not tell him, that's not something I can afford, is there anything I can? I've asked the receptionist if she could have that conversation with him and maybe I'll find out later this week. Last several years I've been doing quite a good job of taking care of my teeth having lost so many. But one of them a major filling is gone, the dentist recommends a crown which probably is correct, and I'd like to at least get that done. We'll see.