A dear young sister shared with me the yearning that she feels to find a loving committed partner:
Those few that ever hear what I have to say must have incredible patience because what a broken record I am. I share this with you not at you but it comes to mind with what you've shared with me. Again.
I remain convinced that we are born to be, the butterfly, the Wagers of loving, for the every breath that we do reward of joy. Not happiness, more likely intense pain, but joy. But for that to transpire it seems that we need enough of a cocoon. I'm not certain of that because it seems to me there are exceptions, young Rachel Corrie for example. But for all practical purposes we need a cocoon throughout our childhood or maybe just for a couple of days. Hard to know.
My dad was that cocoon for me all of my youth.
But once enough of that cocoon has been available only a butterfly in a really sick collection of butterflies succumbs to their insistence that the Cocoon is where they want to be. And all of us are swimming in that sick collection of butterflies. 2018.
More than life itself I was convinced for my first 45 years or so that all I wanted and all I needed to survive, way more than anything else, was to be in a loving partnership. I will never know if that was true for me.
I know that it is not true for me now, and there is no one that seems to have it that I find myself envying. I have to acknowledge that it could be a function of a different hormonal mixture in me now and brain development which was not available earlier. But I see myself of today, 67 years old, in young Rachel Corrie who to my knowledge did not have such a partnership Central in her life. I see myself, my soul, the joyful Part of Me, In Jane Goodall who to my knowledge never had such a partnership Central in her life.
Again, dear sister, this is not directed at you rather you have brought it to my mind to further explore for myself and to share.