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A small group of you seems to truly care. ...

It amazes me, and it touches me and lifts  my wings.

The tube is out.  A lifesaver in, and agony to swallow, and debilitating... my body saw it as a huge violation and shut down. And that was a mercy, allowing me to sleep through much of what otherwise would have been swallowing pain. Further aided by a beautifully equipped
hospital with a bed who's back I could raise and that helped reduce any swallowing while sleeping.
The tests where contrast was put in the stomach and then x-rays over a two or three-hour period Tracks the flow, the results indicated that the blockage had lessened Or gone away.

So mid-morning  or late-morning they removed the tube and have given me two meals of liquid and semi liquid diet, oatmeal being the most solid thing and so far no problem. So it is expected that I will be discharged tomorrow, and hopefully although it is difficult for them, hopefully by 7 a.m. so that I can begin the 9-hour public transit back to Lone Pine which is about 220 miles north of here.

0 to 5 I would rate this facility at 5. Kindness, compassion, expertise, responsiveness....

they received my question about guidance as to how to avoid needlessly triggering such an attack in the future, and a future attack is probably more likely than not, they readily admitted that they didn't know but will check the literature which they did. Staying well hydrated and many small meals versus large ones is what they found. And to their credit they genuinely were interested in what additional information I might find.
And just as I found qualified information that said, no, James, you're not supposed to necessarily die from this colon cancer, get a second opinion, this being four years ago or so, there is information that seems qualified that indicates that things like the skin of fruits, apples for example, high-fiber, can't be digested and can ball up and  cause such obstruction. I thought it was the apples. I still think so.
There are logical extremes I could go to but would cause a great disruption or shutdown of my currently very active life. And so far that's a price I'm unwilling to pay.
But what I do take away from this is to try and reduce the size of meals that I consume or consume them over a longer period Of time, chew very thoroughly particularly things that are high in fiber, but occasionally avoid like apple peels, and to stay even better hydrated than I have been particularly when there is food in the system.
This has been a very painful, process, but I have remained joyful in part because I kept in mind that my job, and I think the job of all of us adults, is to learn to find joy, that is staying within our soul in charge, respecting and observing the body but not becoming the body, our job is to Pioneer how to do that in hellish situations.
There were probably eight or 12 staff members that have encountered me in this visit maybe more.
Two of them independently Drew themselves into conversation with me. One I think appropriately gregarious and the other particularly curious about the tattoos. 1 interchange lasted an hour or more during the X-ray process, and the other probably 10 minutes or so in my room.
Such an extraordinary privilege. And supporting that I am studying things that are helpful to deliver in such situations. Whatever competence I have is growing.
I only ever share or write what has already been helpful to me but I am becoming more helpful.
The first conversation over x-rays was a wonderful young man and there is little question that the information I shared, much of it clinical and scientific, to some degree strengthened his soul, his limbic system, the goodness within us all, to be more in charge. He was open and ready and eager for that.
The second individual drawn to the tattoos the dialogue lead of course into the man Jesus among other things, and she seemed to be able to hear what I had to say. But it was difficult. I did not probe and she did not reveal her background but almost certainly she is of a Christian tradition and I think the other individual as well.
So after I had shared for 8 or 10 minutes much of it about the man Jesus and what he taught this person asked, yes, do you believe that Jesus is your savior, do you believe in him? And I tried to help her understand that in the eight or ten minutes I had spoken to her that I had not said so and that that was her answer. The analogy that I drew was that I believe in Jesus the same way that I would believe in Albert Einstein, as a rare individual that opened the door for those of us that want to see reality in a much Fuller way.
She seemed to be genuinely intrigued with this and resistant at the same time. Pretty much all I can ever hope to do is occasionally sow a seed on fertile soil.
Late in the conversation trying to help her understand where I was coming from, I said, now where did Jesus tell us that the kingdom of God is? I'll guess that certainly she considers herself a well-informed Christian. She admitted quite comfortably, I don't know, did he ever tell us? I said, he was very explicit, he said there will never be a time when one can say oh, the kingdom of God is here, or there, it will never come by observation. The kingdom of God is within you, and I told her that I'm certain that means our soul. Our limbic system. She didn't challenge me but she wanted to know, does it really did he really say that, where? So I instantly voice typed, I could do that by then, and up came Luke 20 I think. But it was easy, Bible, kingdom of God, Jesus. such an extraordinary privilege. And supporting that I am studying things that are helpful to deliver in such situations. Whatever competence I have is growing.

I only ever share or right what has already been helpful to me but I am becoming more helpful.

In no way denegrating or disrespecting this individual, in the few times that I encounter people that consider themselves Christian they have absolutely no idea what Jesus had to say..

The dearest friend of this mission just let me know that I will be picked up by this friend at the hospital tomorrow and driven up Lone Pine. Part of the consideration of this individual is that that will allow flexibility that public transit will not in case I need to get to a restroom facility or whatever. It will be so great to see this individual and such a great kindness.
In several separate instances the staff member here or there has said, sometimes to another staff member, oh, he will be your best patient tonight. I Revel in goodness and kindness. And I express my joy when I see it. And this staff, this hospital is as good as there is in the world. And their kindness is huge. The other day a headline  caught my eye that if patients in Europe treated their medical staff the way Americans treat their medical staff that it would destroy the European medical system. I suspect that's true. We are so blind.


  1. Brother;
    I’ve been praying for you and believe you may receive benefit, if not total healing from CBD. How may we talk on the phone?