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Log update: I thrive on feeling accountable. Feeling accountable helps me....

I thrive on feeling accountable.

Feeling accountable helps me... stay on track to have the high level of meaning that makes life worth living for me.

This does not mean that I make myself accountable to others approval. Never. I am accountable to the highest conception of being a contributing human being that I can muster. I'm never allowed to delegate that judgment to anyone else, but I consider at least in my mind what others are thinking, and certainly any and all appropriate and put that I can receive.

How is James spending these recent weeks where his friends are so lavishly affording him a safe and beautiful place 2 shelter in place until things open up from the virus?

I suppose there would be nothing wrong if James were using this for entertainment, Recreation, relaxation, but none of those are ways that James and Joyce spending his time, not since he was a misguided kid. That's just him. Maybe. 

These recent weeks he's devoting all of his time, all of his waking moments, on some combination of the following:

  • Trying to make sense of what the f*** is going on in the world, and sharing those insights that come to him that he finds insightful that might be useful to others. Facebook is the primary communication vehicle he is using.
  • Trying to deal with the internal storms that our dystopian external world can trigger within him such that he is as much of a moment-to-moment as he can be, as he understands that to be the major contribution that he can make to the world, that any of us can make to the world.
  • Working to maintain some reasonable level of capacity within the human motor and energy storage that his body has become over these years so that when the virus lifts and he can resume his mission physically it has not degraded too far. This is translating into 4 hours or so of intense cycling every other day.
  • Being a friend to the heroic mom of two teenage boys that are on the autism spectrum, physically located in Michigan, that he met briefly years ago when the trailer was being built there, that he continues to view as one of the most high performance Souls that has ever encountered. By way of analogy, if she were a heroic pilot of an airplane flying through, flying herself and her two children, through a hurricane that otherwise couldn't be escaped, and James could provide some ground Support Services, he would do so. He is doing so. It is a great privilege, and sometimes it takes a tremendous amount of time. Which he is Overjoyed to supply. A great privilege.
  • Long overdue maintenance and planning and execution of a gigantic final upgrade to this wonderful solar RV bicycle. The gigantic Achilles heel has always been the drive system which has been way underpowered and way over stressed for this 1200 lb payload. With the supplier in Canada of the two additional Motors crippled by the virus the process of determining what was appropriate order has been arduous. Three or four agonizing weeks were otherwise it could have been three or four days. Hopefully the components will arrive within the next 10 days or so at which point a local welder hopefully will execute the work needed so that James can to get it all installed. And what work he can do to prepare the vehicle for that is doing.
That probably puts forth 90% or so of how I'm spending my time. James

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