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1.21.2020

I was thrilled to die last night for the soul joy of my murderer.




This only in my imagination, but this was new, and it feels like really really really really important growth. Time will tell. But it feels like really really really really important growth. In a waking dream in the middle of the night I was in a torture cell And was concerned not with the torture happening to me but entirely with the soul of my torturer which itself was being tortured by the head and flesh of this tormented perverted corrupt individual. This is who and what I want to be. For the joy of it.  For the freedom from the straitjacket that otherwise is my head and flesh, that I Revere, but that I do not want to be constrained by. And maybe I am moving in this direction even when I'm awake. Let it be so.

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