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JAMES' PERSONAL WRITINGS: SLOVING
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3.28.2008

HYPOCRICY DETECTORS: B.O., TATTOOS, LONG NAILS AND HAIR...

Now remember, little if ANY Sin / Error / Hypocrisy is conscious! I'm making a diagnosis, not a condemnation here in what follows.

I had no foresight to the indispensable value of B.O., tatoos, long fingernails and hair, until I saw it with my own eyes. Someone that I saw as the best Total friend / colleague by far that God has ever given me was unmasked - terminated our relationship - as my B.O. became more extreme and my fingernails grew through neglect due to my single minded efforts to breathe life into a dying hero - I live at war. (The hero is now in recovery for the first time in many, many years by the way. Pray,)

This termination came weeks ago and I still bleed; feels like the wound will never heal.

But what an incredible blessing, what a gift for us both to have escaped a deadly Hypocrisy weeks, months, years... sooner than otherwise might have occurred. So much time Saved. The gift of Time, which is the gift of Life.

It never was a Friendship at all, because true Friendships / Love cannot end. It was / is I think a POTENTIAL Friendship / Love; but maybe it was never that; rather an infatuation, a fantasy (entirely altruistic), a mirage....

I don't expect I'll ever know.

But I'll be forever grateful for the heroic kindnesses shown me; and for the B.O. , long finger nails, etc. that they are likely to remain part of me - HYPOCRISY DETECTORS - that I am otherwise far too blind without.

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