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Jesus the man: what if every moment of his adult life what's the most gratified that anyone has lived?

I've always thought that this was the case. And for weeks now I'm explicitly experimenting on myself to see whether that was true. From the gospels I'm attempting to understand as deeply as I can who he was and to be the same way inside.

Regardless of how he thought of it, what I'm seeing is someone that totally identified with the highest potentialities within him. Potentialities that were probably shaped by his upbringing including the Jewish prophets, and in my experiment I am having my highest moral potentialities shaped by my experience of the man Jesus in the gospels. And as he personified his, I'm personifying mine, my creator. And I'm working to have my every moment with a side glance over to that creator, and that's a thing for me now, asking myself, how can I make creator laugh at my next attempt at goodness? And when I connect with that I can feel Creator laughing, and that gives me joy.

This is madness to our world. Saturday that prevails in our world is destroying all of creation for today's children and tomorrow's grandchildren and great grandchildren at all species.

I I could reach the point of deciding that this is no longer a worthwhile experiment, and/or that the results are clear to me that his is not the most gratified life for some, many, or all of us humans. Living his internal life which is there for anyone to see through detailed examination of the thousand teachings he gave us on how to be in the world. All of my experiment so far indicates that it is. 

By living at means just above the federal poverty level I'm afforded the luxury of doing this experiment, at least some would see it that way. Others, if they were honest would say that I'm sacrificing everything important for this experiment.

This time of my work calls for some more weeks of getting as close to the man Jesus as those thousand instructions allow me to do. And that can best be served by continuing to be quite stationary as I am in this Owens valley area. And if I don't wear out my welcome then I expect for some more weeks to be here. And then to take myself back out into the world. To continue the experiment. And that others can see and experience the experiment in different settings and situations. Me too.


As I get to know Jesus....

20 years of focus, and now many weeks devoted to intimate understanding, I'm patiently waiting for increased Clarity that percolate Within me. What are the primary things that were instrumental to him, that he tried to impart to us?

If and when I find sufficient clarity, five, 10 major elements, then I expect to affix those as labels making his 1,000 teachings searchable by those.

Progress is being made by me I feel, and these are current elements: 

Tickle Creator: keep Creator joyfully laughing at your pitiful attempts to do good in the world, as a toddler keeps the loving parent laughing with their joyful attempts.

Be of Jesus/Creator: so identify with creator and his earthly embodiment, Jesus, that you become more and more of them, as we might rarely say of a child, I see the parent in them.

Find Creator within you: Creator may exist outside of you, but clearly Jesus experienced Creator within him, the kingdom of God is within you. Make yourself, keep yourself, one with that creator within you, your highest moral potentialities. Personify that.

Fear Satan's World: fear, not as in cower, but as in the healthy respect one would have for keeping their finger out of the way of the knife blade. Everything outside the kingdom of your highest moral potentialities is hell. The place of pain, suffering, selfishness, hatred, hoarding, cruelty, anxiety, worry, depression, physical pain.... Every breath you remain in the kingdom within you is instead living the fruits.

Joy Peace Love Life the Fruits

If one of the few great psychologists there's ever been said to a patient, if you enter by me you will be saved. One...

 If one of the few great psychologists there's ever been said to a patient, if you enter by me you will be saved. One might be skeptical but one might also have faith in the psychologist. Jesus was the greatest psychologist that's ever been. That is how he should be understood. That's how I'm understanding him. And my experience is that he's correct.


71y/o and only now with the tools to make acquaintance with the man Jesus.

Many weeks now in the desert spent extracting his 1000 teachings from underneath the mountains of dogma, mysticism, proof of divinity statements in the gospels. And I've randomized it and in groups of three and four am slowly working to make them part of me. And he is emerging as never before. There's no other way to get to know, and to love the man, and finally I'm in a position to do it. And so are you I think because I've made the file available here.

Identification: Jesus believed that the Creator was dominant with in all of as children. The worldly cultures arou....

Identification: Jesus believed that the Creator was dominant with in all of as children. The worldly cultures around us draw us out of that family. By totally identifying with the Creator within him he made that manifest, and made of himself a Beacon of light to some others of us to return to that family, to return to that total identification

To any considering suicide: I haven't liked being alive for....

To any considering suicide: I haven't liked being alive for many many years. I find this world hell, all the nastiness, selfishness, cruelty, denial, hoarding, hatefulness.... And I have a hunch that those with the most enviable, joyful, lives in my eyes throughout history may have felt much the same. Jesus, Bonhoeffer, Tolstoy, Buddha, Schweitzer, Jesus said unless you hate your life in this world you cannot be my disciple. If you love


Major update


I actually see how to save the world, for the first time. And for all practical purposes I see how to save an individual. No, really. 

I don't know that what I see is the only way, tho it may be, but it is certainly a way. It's not going to happen, it's too little too late, as far as saving the world, but not too late necessarily to save the child within an individual, bringing them back from the death that we visit on them with our culture. 

I think Jesus found it, I think he was on to it. I think he lived it, taught it, provided the paradigm and the teachings. There may be millions that have taken him at his word, if you feed on me you will live, feeding on his words and example, taking them to heart, deeply understanding them, living them, there may be millions or billions, but I'm not sure there are any. And until I find it's a dead end or there's a better way to spend my life, I'm going to try and do it.

And in the last three or four days that I have been stepping out in this direction it's exhausting, it's hard work mentally, it requires disciplines and habits that are contrary to what I have, I don't have the skills to learn and incorporate his 1000 teachings so I'm really stumbling, but I intend to keep stumbling. 

This stage, my view, is capacity building, skill building, strength building. It's a lot of hard work.

Logistically it seems that things are working out, but in this sparsely populated relatively vast Owens valley, Lone pine area, I'm finding ways to stay out of sight, out of mind, and quite a few people, not all, but quite a few people at least tolerate and I think even like me. I think quite a few are basically glad that I'm around. They like what they see. They're curious, they're interested, and as I say, I stay out of sight and out of mind, not hiding, just trying to be out of sight out of mind. 

Every other day I do an hour or so of cycling to try and stay in shape. But other than that I am pretty well sequestered and doing a tremendous amount of study, and reflection, and study, and attempting to gain recall of the bulk of the thousand teachings that Jesus gave us about how to be in this world. I totally don't have the skills to do this. Right now I'm just using brute force, maybe some techniques will develop but I'm not counting on it.

Inarguably anyone that lived his way would live sustainably in this world. Anyone that does live his way can have the joy and peace that comes from knowing that they're doing their part. And that they're manifesting the paradigm that maybe someone else could see and do the same. And it's very demanding, because it requires living in front of the creator, the highest potentialities within personified. And that increases the intensity and velocity of one's life and living, which is exhausting and hard and even frightening, but it also gives more life, and a sense of peace that probably can come no other way. 

I expect to be in this area for another month hoping to move from novice to intermediate level competence and then to resume my traveling ministry bringing that greater competence with me. 

A dental checkup several weeks ago yielded treatment recommendations of about $5,000. I quickly scheduled appointments before I knew the cost and then just as quickly canceled them. The treatment plan was suggested to me by the dentist who said he didn't know how much it would cost but after we met I could meet with his receptionist and she would tell me which meant that I could not tell him, that's not something I can afford, is there anything I can? I've asked the receptionist if she could have that conversation with him and maybe I'll find out later this week. Last several years I've been doing quite a good job of taking care of my teeth having lost so many. But one of them a major filling is gone, the dentist recommends a crown which probably is correct, and I'd like to at least get that done. We'll see.


My dear Jesus letter . I've begun a letter and I hope to share it with you by christmas. At least a draft.

Dear Jesus, thank you for being born. This letter to you is not what you would think, all the mumbo-jumbo means nothing but blasphemous distraction to me..... 


Is Jesus the son of god? That is so the wrong question. Is he the greatest embodiment of the Almighty? And thereby our best best path to Eternal Joy experienced by living so aligned, in this life? 71 years of work of clawing our sick culture out of my field of vision, I'm finally beginning to see it. And as a Sculptor begins revealing what she sees, so I'm attempting to do first for my eyes and possibly for others then with this new site. Jesian.Org for a variety of reasons, Almighty willing, it will be completed within the next couple of weeks, but not until then.


It is finished

 The Gospel of Mark

John did baptize in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins. After confessing their sins many from the land of Judaea and from Jerusalem were baptized by him in the river of Jordan.

I have baptized you with water but He shall baptize you with the Holy Spirit.

The spirit drove Him into the wilderness.

The kingdom of God

Update: Medical, Freeeezing, Soul, Sol...

 Incredibly good health. Using what I've been given seems to keep it in working order.

Becoming quite concerned regarding the hernia in my lower left groin. First manifesting itself three or four weeks ago it is at least a weekly occurrence despite exercises I'm doing. Remaining discreetly in this Lone Pine area that I like so very much, lone pine, among many other things the medical system is very helpful here. Dr Weiss at the local clinic, she is top drawer, and she's referring me to a surgical team in Bishop, the larger town about 35 mi north of here and a consultation I expect to take place within the next month. Surgery if it could be arranged would knock me out for as long as 3 weeks which is an idea that I loathe, but the onset is so regular that I am thinking that I should bite the bullet if it is offered. 

I Have learned a shocking amount about freezing cold while sleeping and mitigating that. Something had changed dramatically, a sleeping bag combination that I was very used to, all of a sudden was 20° f less able to


For the first time in my life I'm not working alone.


This headline may be a bit dramatic but I'm not sure that it is. It may come down to this, out of responsibility I perceive that I cannot defer my decisions to anyone else. Nor can I afford to not seek out and listen to the best input I can receive. And that's been my process throughout adulthood. Sadly I've found throughout my adulthood that there are not one in a million whose input is thoughtful and deep enough to be of much use but there is that and I work hard to tap it.

But whereas responsibility, joyful responsibility, prevents me from deferring my decisions to anyone else, it does not defer me from deferring it to me. A part of me. A place in my imagination that has unfolded in the last couple of days. Now for the last 20 years there's been some level of deferral to my soul.

BBut what's happening these recent days, just glimmers of it so far, is a deferral to a character Within Me, a function of my imagination, a loving adoring creator of us all that can be amused, delighted, filled with joy, delighted at our pitiful attempts to do good in the world. Again, just glimpses, but I feel I can look to that individual, I can look to their reaction, I can inquire though no words come back and nor do I expect they ever will.

AA very loose reference, I think of Clarence in, it's a wonderful life, and how he would turn to his guardian angel in conversation. 

TThere are not the slightest psychotic features to this, so far anyway, and I don't think there will be. It is clearly a way of using my imagination but it's greatly clarifying, greatly enjoyable, and freeing because it frees me up from crippling Earthly concerns of being right, being effective, though I care about that. It frees me up to be a fool, floundering in impossible situations trying to figure out how to do good in the world when so few people are trying or have ever tried to do so, so almost no examples to follow. A whole lot of pioneering. And if there are not a ton of failures along the way, not trying hard or fast enough.

II hope this mode for me increases, intensifies, get stronger and more useful. It might evaporate quickly. But it's too interesting not to share.

OOver the last 22 years I certainly had devices similar to this where in my imagination I would look to a small panel of people including the likes of jesus, gandhi, confucius.. and that was very useful, maybe a stepping stone to where I am now. But there was not the freeing from crippling heaviness that I'm finding with this bemused loving creator that can be delighted with my ridiculous attempts. And more than any device I've found so far I think it is and can be freeing of me from what residual of needing to meet the expectations of others, and there are so few able others, that's a crippling that we can't afford of me.

And this is really helping me do something that is very deep in me but very hard to do with flesh and blood individuals, to seek to Delight. For one brief juncture I was able to lead a large organization of very sophisticated software developers and Consultants towards a single goal of the delighting clients. It was enormously unleashing of potential and energy in me and most or all associates. But that's very hard to do in the real world. And with what I've described above I'm seeing glimmers of having a partner that I can look to Delight though not in the way I did in that earlier organization, the nature of the delight here is just a joyful but somehow encouraging and affirming laughter at my ridiculous attempts, but that's very useful as a North star. So far anyway.

AAnd if I look over and Creator isn't lovingly laughing at me, I'm doing it wrong, I'm not trying hard enough, I'm being too conservative, I'm being too careful to do it right, too slow in this world full of emergency. It's really helpful.


How to live as the child of Almighty for the Divine Joy of it. Jesus of nazareth. Edited by James mcginley.

Also, the lager unfolding in progress 11/27/22:

11/23/22 Update: superseding the long text below, the study guide test prep below, is this in process link.

11/13/22 Notice:  Crucial update. In progress. Though it was my plan to be spending my time working on this, not in this way. I've been marooned on the side of the highway since Thursday with a broken axle. It's very cold here and for the last 18 hours we have been getting bludgeoned from the rear by High gusts. But we spent the time working on updating this crucial work that began to show itself weeks ago. Using the Fairly public domain Gutenberg edition of the Bible these recent days have been going through it and placing in bold what James experiences as his study guide and oh my goodness it continues to open his eyes to what the man Jesus was and taught. They're in front of me all my life obscured by mountains of manure from the popes, preachers, bishops, john, paul, luther, calvin, supposed miracles, what's the profess.... The pearls worth any price in bold at the following link. Although this blog post has not yet been updated it will be done so from the passages in bold on this complete unedited version of the Bible just referenced. Link here.

Editors note:
since my earliest memories as a child I thought that Jesus had the most joyful life of anyone that ever lived. To love the world that much, what could be better than that? At about 22 years ago I began to live based on that conviction. And I've had a life of joy, and the agony which is its fuel, ever since. And I want as much of that as I can get so in September of 2022 I wanted to get closer, and I asked myself, what did Jesus tell me about how to be presumably the most joyful thing in the universe, a living child of the almighty, pleasing to the almighty, one of Jesus siblings that he frequently spoke of, and I went through verse by verse as though I were creating a study guide for the examination that I imagine Almighty is making up my life every breath. For the joy of it. And my weekly study of what resulted has increased my usefulness and joy here on Earth immeasurably already. And I expect it will for as many days months or years until my sentence is over.

In the order in which they were written, chapters 1 through 4:

Jesus test prep


I came not to call the righteous, but to call sinners to repentance.. 

Then Jesus said to them, Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath days, or to do evil? To save life, or to kill? But they remained silent.

Jesus looked at them with anger and was grieved for the hardness of their hearts. 

But he that blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never have forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation. He said this because they said, He has an unclean spirit.

Whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.

Satan comes immediately and takes away the word that was sown in their hearts.When affliction or persecution arises for the word's sake, they are offended. And these are also the seed sown among the thorns of the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things. All these thorns enter in, choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. 

Those who are sown on good ground. In hearing the word, they receive it and bring forth fruit, some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some a hundredfold.

The disciples went out and preached that men should repent.

This people honor me with their lips but their heart is far from me. 

In vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. 

In laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups and many other things that ye do. 

And He said to them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God in order to keep your own tradition.

The things which come out of him are those that defile the man. It is from inside, out of the heart of men, that proceed: evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness,