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5.27.2016

As soon as the zionists prove that they have stopped molesting their nieces and nephews, I will prove that I am not anti-Semitic.

As soon as the zionists prove that they have stopped molesting their nieces and nephews, I will prove that I am not anti-Semitic.

***** James, how would you suggest we... Fill in the blank... Free Palestine, stop global warming, stop fascism in America...? My reply: If I want a Mercedes, new, from a showroom, it really doesn't matter whether I go in with dollar bills, the checkbook, a............

***** James,  how would you suggest we...  Fill in the blank...  Free Palestine,  stop global warming,  stop fascism in America...?  My reply: If I want a Mercedes, new, from a showroom, it really doesn't matter whether I go in with dollar bills, the checkbook, a credit card, a bank check... Etcetera. What matters is the amount. And, oh by the way, if I instead of the amount I go in with lip service, conversation, begging, demanding, taunting, demonstrating, tantruming, Facebook posting, article writing, meeting, 2 hour demonstration... They might tolerate it for a few moments and then they rightfully are going to get me arrested, and no onlooker will object. Lip service, words... wanting... whining, demanding... does not achieve anything worthwhile, though it does give you the total Destruction of one's credibility, moral potential, respect in the eyes of onlookers , worthiness in the eyes of onlookers. Contrary to the criminally insane dictum of my boomer generation, there is no free lunch! When enough of us heroically, lovingly, courageously, selflessly, seriously... pay enough of our own personal lives to be the price of freeing Palestine it will happen. Lip service doesn't help, in fact, it disperses our energy, gives us the delusion that we're making any difference, and totally destroys our credibility in the eyes of potential joiners. An individual, then individuals, then tens of thousands of individuals devoted their very being to get rid of Mubarak and finally it was enough. The same in the American Civil Rights Movement. The same in getting rid of South African apartheid. It is not how we pay the price. It is that we pay the price. I cannot pay the price of anyone else, but I can, or cannot, pay the entire price of my own life.

5.26.2016

### THIS... is what activism looks like. I am and will continue to be extremely harsh, scathing, in calling out, occasionally, what passes for activism that in fact is activism in name only. Hypocrisy does not... ' 23 young Jews arrested in America for protesting Israel's occupation of Palestine''

http://972mag.com/23-young-jews-arrested-in-anti-occupation-protests-across-u-s/118807/

### THIS... is what activism looks like. I am and will continue to be extremely harsh, scathing, in calling out, occasionally, what passes for activism that in fact is activism in name only. Hypocrisy does not require that the hypocrite see their own hypocrisy. In fact,  hypocrisy, the child of denial, is always acting the part, not BEING the part, without self acknowledging that fact. If it was with acknowledging that fact it would be lying, deceit, deception, not hypocrisy. Why scathing, why extremely harsh? Because unless this gets fixed the future is existential hell for all future generations starting with disadvantaged current Generations. How the f*** should I be? What the f*** does loving do in the face of impending horror Beyond any ever seen for the human species, for all species? To do less would be unloving which I refuse to be. To my eyes, the actions described in the following article begin to be the epitome of what activism worthy the name is: Disciplined, respectable, scrupulous respectability, truly Brave, deeply selfless , making manifest the deepest longings of the heart, truly heroic, deeply courageous in truth, well thought-out but not show not theatrics not a media ploy,  absolutely centered  on others who are in extreme need,  0 self-centered, injecting self exactly in the way of the impending harm, completely within one's rights, never violating the rights of others physically morally or otherwise including the right  of every creature in every circumstance to be treated as a human being regardless of how horrible ones Behavior may be, personally paying the price versus the violence of attempting to get another to pay the price, profoundly well informed, reverential, unfailingly serious, unmistakeably dignified. Non-hostile. Anti-violence. Anti-violent. Am I talking about acquiescence?  Am I talking about tolerating violent acts toward others?  By the police for example ?  Anti-violence is never these things.  Cowardice is the one unforgivable sin according to Gandhi ,  not the use of even deadly physical Force as we love to delude ourselves.  Gandhi demanded physical Force  to protect the weak  if the person who could intervene was incapable of anti-violence.  Are the people in this article wimps? I think the key to understanding the difference between a violent action and anti violent action is to imagine oneself in the presence of ones tremendously be loved just gone insane uncle about to bludgeon his infant child. Might you use violence to stop this? Might you be incredibly harsh to stop this? Of course! Do you hate your uncle or project hatred toward your uncle in intervening? Of course not! See the police as your uncle in a fit of insanity. See the 1% as your uncle in a fit of insanity, because they are. And nonviolence training worth the name is exactly about learning how to do this, not the violence crap that passes for non-violence training today. Watch the documentary, Freedom Riders, actual footage beautifully portrays what non violence training looks like in truth. If the organizations, if not now, Jewish voice for peace, breaking the silence, open Hillel, Christian Peacemaker teams... are not on your daily news scan please put them there. Our sisters and brothers who are the true Jews, the descendants of the ancient Israeli prophetic ethical system, are the one true repository of activism-in-deed that I continually see in 2014, 2015, 2016. Wagers of loving. The anti-violence. The only anti-violence.

5.25.2016

***** Creator fills my heart with joy every moment that I bear the pain of creation and work to lessen that pain. James

Creator fills my heart with joy every moment that I bear the pain of creation and work to lessen that pain. James

This is my third major stop for the day, posted in front of CNN by Union Station for the walk by potential of the free Palestine signage. Working on my computer on the internet. During the morning hours......

This is my third major stop for the day, posted in front of CNN by Union Station for the walk by potential of the free Palestine signage. Working on my computer on the internet. During the morning hours the vehicle was posted in front of the moral Abomination called NPR, netanyahu's propagandists and rapists. Moral scum. Killing Palestinian children  in return for their cushy prestigious jobs. Just after lunch was a 2 hour meeting at the large DC government office building on New York Avenue focusing on shelter performance particularly during hypothermia season this past year. It is part of something called ICH , interagency coalition to end homelessness. For the last 2 months I have been attending many of their meetings and with few exceptions and extremely impressed at the seriousness of the effort to prophetically reduce homelessness in Washington DC by 2020 with substantial Milestones of progress in the interim. I am throwing myself in the deep end to try and learn as much as possible as quickly as possible while at the same time trying to avoid slow slowing others down. Said hello to the director of the effort today and told her I am coachable, that I need to be told if my questions are slowing things down and abruptly interrupted me and said, quite the opposite, I'm very glad that you're a part of this and I have much to learn from you. I think she was being honest. Oh, I also stopped at the Sanders headquarters and told them in response to their email of yesterday that I seem to have permission from the management of my apartment complex 2 house a delegate should they need the space, received Clarity from them as to how I can donate nearly all of my current savings to Sanders and not to folks further down his ticket no discredit them but he is the one that has taken the moral High Ground now, and also got some small needed hardware for El Fusion vehicle. James

5.23.2016

***** To my friends who would be violent, including discriminatory , toward the police, the Republicans, or anyone: I think I understand your frustration, I think I understand some factual justification , I even acknowledge that theoretically it could produce short-term results. Very very......

To my friends who would be violent, including discriminatory , toward the police, the Republicans, or anyone: I think I understand your frustration, I think I understand some factual justification , I even acknowledge that theoretically it could produce short-term results. Very very short-term, and very certain long-term... it will unleash the forces of hell that are the world Awash in weaponry. I just don't want that world. Hate, violence, begets hate , violence. I just don't want more hate , more violence, of people. Hatred of Injustice? Absolutely! Hatred of Cruelty? No one has more of that than I. But hatred, violence, of, or hatred, violence, toward, any individual or group? I just don't want that world. Hate begets hate. I don't want it in me. I don't want to create more of it around me. Do what you will, I'll not join you. I'll continue in my pitiful little efforts to be loving, anti-violent, and therefore to Mark the path of loving, anti-violence, which is tough in this 2016 world or it is not loving, it is harsh in this world of 2016 or it is not loving, I will continue to try and be and to Mark that path of anti-violence... as futile, as ridiculous , as idiotic, has laughable... as that may be..., well, as that is. James

The political, cultural and judicial system in a capitalist state is centered around the protection of property rights. And, as Adam Smith pointed out, when civil government “is instituted for the security of property, [it] is in reality instituted for the defense of the rich against the poor, or of those who have some property against those who have none at all.” The capitalist system is gamed from the start.'' Chris Hedges. See article.....

http://m.truthdig.com/report/item/reform_or_revolution_20160522

***** The selfishness, the cruelty, of someone bringing a child into this 2016 World hell is just beyond me. When Gandhi couldn't fix things, when Jesus could not, when Martin Luther King could not, when The Godly one in a million that has always existed could not, why would I not see that the human species is a failed species? Shame on me.

***** The selfishness, the cruelty, of someone bringing a child into this 2016 World hell is just beyond me. When Gandhi couldn't fix things, when Jesus could not, when Martin Luther King could not, when The Godly one in a million that has always existed could not, why would I not see that the human species is a failed species? Shame on me.

5.21.2016

***** My only loyalty, my entire loyalty, is to loving, in whatever species, and in whatever individual or group, I see it. This is why my loyalty is not to the human species, not any longer with.....

### My only loyalty, my entire loyalty, is to loving, in whatever species, and in whatever individual or group, I see it. This is why my loyalty is not to the human species, not any longer with what I see now that the carefully culture crafted illusions sewn into my eyes since birth have been substantially removed. This is why I have not jumped on board the Sanders campaign. He is a very loving individual, his supporters, my sisters and brothers all, with few exceptions, are not. They want more Justice for themselves. I don't begrudge them that. But that's not what loving does. His supporters are not nearly as deprived or abused, with few exceptions, as the billions on Earth who have been the victim of our Collective American excesses. My point is not to denigrate anyone. My point is to share my understanding of why to my surprise I am not jumping onboard the Sanders campaign, and other aspects of me that I find surprising but persistent. Phyllis Ann Salomone Collins Shodo Spring Kathy Green Dave Schwenk

***** I am alone, isolated, fighting alone, ( and every breath filled with joy and peace ) because 15 years ago I did what terrifies Americans, what terrifies westerners, what terrifies we over-privileged, what terrifies liberals, what terrifies activist-inos... more than anything else in the world. I gave up. I surrendered. I refused to......

***** I am alone, isolated, fighting alone, ( and every breath filled with joy and peace ) because 15 years ago I did what terrifies Americans, what terrifies westerners, what terrifies we over-privileged, what terrifies liberals, what terrifies activist-inos... more than anything else in the world. I gave up. I surrendered. I refused to fight anymore... I refused any longer to fight my heart. I refused any longer to fight my conscience. They had been nagging at me my entire disgustingly over privileged life. I at long last caved, I gave in. I found within me a vow that I have adhered to ever since. I didn't make a vow,  as I find doing such things terribly counterproductive. I found the vow in my heart and I surrender to it for the greedy Joy of it. That vow that I found there and surrender to was that I would give my life to my human and nonhuman family on Earth as best I could with every breath. That I would never again prostitute myself to the values, machines, organizations, systems of Our Sick culture for one second, not for 1 cent, regardless of the personal consequences, that I would give my life and not divert one second to earning a life for myself. If my sisters and brothers were happy to let me expire, that wasn't my business, that wasn't my concern, and I would not  divert a second to that. And with never a second thought because of the overwhelming peace and joy of that path, and because of the singular hope that that path gives, I have never looked back, only forward to the absolute joy and peace and hope of that decision, that direction, of that path. That is,  I finally said yes to what we westerners have been taught to avoid with our last breath, I said yes to heart in charge ( not to be confused with self-indulgent sentimentality ) and thereby I allowed the material world that I had been taught to Crave as a Westerner to totally disintegrate, to totally turn against me because of the path that I walk. Again, never for one breath have I looked back because of the overwhelming joy and peace, every breath, and extreme pain of the suffering world that is my fuel, of that path. I gave into truth Force. I gave in to soulforce. I surrendered to my heart. I have worked assiduously to keep my heart in charge ever since and with very very very few moments of error, I have succeeded. It is heaven, the heaven that has always been written of, and the heaven not one in a million find. But it is the heaven that every true activist lives in by whatever words, or no words at all. The one in a Million. Obviously I use every neuron in my head, infinitely more than most. Obviously I find physical strength despite my stage 4 cancer and age that many people can't imagine. That's what the heart in charge does. I use my head. I use my flesh. More particularly my heart, that I deliberately and scrupulously keep in charge, uses  both my head and my flesh to the fullest. But I never make the mistake of letting them,  my head or flesh, be in charge, only my heart, with no credit to me. Finally, after 45 years of having my head and flesh in charge, I surrendered, I gave up, to my heart, my soul, my conscience. My heart has been my loving, immensely harsh, unimaginably wise master ever since. And so I am physically alone, and certainly will remain physically alone, and relatively materially impoverished, as a consequence, a price that I pay every day without a shred of regret, for the greedy, infinite,  joy and peace of Heart of it.

### Jane Goodall is correct, there is still much worth saving, but that does not include the human species, although it does include a few individual humans.

### Jane Goodall is correct, there is still much worth saving, but that does not include the human species, although it does include a few individual humans.

5.19.2016

***** Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason for denial, not the primary reason. Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason that we limit how much ugliness we are willing to see on Facebook, how much unpl......

***** Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason for denial, not the primary reason. Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason that we limit how much ugliness we are willing to see on Facebook, how much unpleasantness we allow to become Central in so-called activism or in the nature of the so-called activism we have been willing to practice these last forty years or so. The primary function of denial is not to avoid unpleasantness, it is to avoid becoming loving, it is to avoid Gandhi's Truth Force, to avoid what happens when Awful Truth makes it past our denial system and hits our heart. It activates our heart, it hijacks our nervous system, and turns us near irresistibly into Insanely Humane (INSHE) Warrior antiviolent Servants of righteousness, Servants of what is Right, Servants of what our human family most needs of us, what all of our fellow life forms need of us. God forbid.... So, as the central one of our many contributions to the extermination of all life on Earth, we f****** baby boomers, our central contribution has been the activism-ino-ism of the last 40 years which is so careful to be sure that we conduct ourselves in a way that it is attractive, it is fun, it is Pleasant, it is something that people want to do, to 'join' ( a social club with a thin veneer of activism )... thereby scrupulously and absolutely avoiding bringing online truth Force, the heart, soul Force, loving... the only force in the universe that could overcome the largest mercenary force that Earth has ever seen. Brilliant. Murder.

5.16.2016

The pursuit of justice is a wonderful breeding ground, a wonderful excuse, for hatred among those doing the pursuit toward whoever their targets are. The arrogance, hatred, hypocrisy in current 2016 so-called activism........

The pursuit of justice is a wonderful breeding ground, a wonderful excuse, for hatred among those doing the pursuit toward whoever their targets are. The arrogance, hatred, hypocrisy in current 2016 so-called activism is throwing this in my face as I so wish it was not. Without love, it is hatred. If anyone is being dehumanized, discriminated against against, victimized, it is not loving, just more of the same old hatred. Not Revolution. More of the same. Just an attempted change in who is doing the oppressing and who is oppressed.

***** Climate activists taunting the police, my sisters and brothers all. I want that world of your hatred and taunts toward the police, even less than I want the world of climate change. I'd.......

Climate activists taunting the police, my sisters and brothers all. I want that world of your hatred, nastiness, immaturity, Tantrums, Self righteousness, hipocricy, over privilege, and taunts toward the police, even less than I want the world of climate change. I'd rather see we humans go extinct as we are doing, and as we will continue to do if this is the best activism you can find to do, and let the rest of the species get a chance to live without us. This, despite the fact that there are few people alive that have offered and paid a higher personal price to stop global warming than I.

I'm quite sure that 9 months from now I will be moving out of this apartment either onto the streets or back into a homeless shelter. This has been a terrific expenditure , the rent I pay every......

I'm quite sure that 9 months from now I will be moving out of this apartment either onto the streets or back into a homeless shelter. This has been a terrific expenditure , the rent I pay every month, to give me a firm footing to launch into my advocacy for the underclass in Washington DC which is taking roughly half of my time now. As I knew, there were nonprofits that would not work with me constructively as a homeless person, that allow me to gain entry now to get a foothold as someone with an address. But when this lease is up, which I cannot break without forfeiting the monies due during the 12 months , I will move out on the basis that I have less right given my lifelong disgusting over privileged, that I have less right to this property than do thousands of people on waiting lists in this city. And on the basis that I want and need the money that goes into the rent every month for more for my sisters, brothers, children around the world and in DC far more than I need it for me.

I make any and every penny that I have scream as I pinch it. Every penny that I spend on me is a penny that I do not have to spend on those far needier than I. My current food situation , vegan now that.......

I make any and every penny that I have scream as I pinch it. Every penny that I spend on me is a penny that I do not have to spend on those far needier than I. My current food situation , vegan now that I control what I eat, is 95% vegan. Thank goodness, as I have wanted to be since my college days. Expense wise, I consume almost entirely the expiring food from a profoundly kind coffee shop... pasta, lentils, chickpeas, occasionally a healthy salad. They ask nothing in return. They never have. But I Delight in giving the staff a tip that I think they find fairly large every couple of months. Beyond that for fruit and vegetables I make modest expenditures two places. Farmers markets, I greatly Delight in the supporting their work. And coffee shops and restaurants where I use the restroom when I am doing my work in this vehicle around Washington DC. Whether or not they would ask I do not like taking resources where I don't make a contribution so I will buy typically a couple of oranges or a couple of bananas or cooked vegetables for a couple of dollars.

5.14.2016

I am all work and no play. I'm as much fun as a root canal. I make it my business to live my life in the imagined presence of the most persecuted people on earth and I thereby act accordingly. I look ridiculous, unkind......

I am all work and no play. I'm as much fun as a root canal. I make it my business to live my life in the imagined presence of the most persecuted people on earth and I thereby act accordingly. I look ridiculous, unkind, unpleasant, unkempt because no one sees the jury in front of whom I live my life, or the Raging Battlefield on which I live.

***** It's a curious thing with activists in the last 40 years. Somehow they gleefully embrace the notion that, whatever I feel like doing is better than nothing. I like the idea so it will work. The opposite of SNCC. The opposite of Martin Lu.....

***** It's a curious thing with activists in the last 40 years. Somehow they gleefully embrace the notion that, whatever I feel like doing is better than nothing. I like the idea so it will work. The opposite of SNCC. The opposite of Martin Luther King jr. and those that worked with him. The opposite of Saul Alinsky. The opposite of Gandhi. Very much the stuff of the neocons. Very much the stuff of the conservatives. Very much the stuff of Wall Street, the hedge fund managers. Very much the stuff of the religious fundamentalists. Very much the stuff of Mission Control that sent up the space shuttle Challenger. Very much the stuff of the Pentagon. Hey, it seems right to us, let's do it, it's better than nothing. No discipline, no academic or theoretical rigor, no historical grounding, no humility, no self-restraint, no solemnity, no Soul, no dignity, no paying-the-price.... Hey, I'm an old guy. It really doesn't matter a lot to me personally. I just hate to see you younger ones pissing away what little chance you had.

5.13.2016

***** To a young Jedi: Young people can achieve what older folks cannot. If four older women had been killed in a black church bombing in the sixties it might not really have been noticed. But it was four young black girls and......

To a young Jedi: Young people can achieve what older folks cannot. If four older women had been killed in a black church bombing in the sixties it might not really have been noticed. But it was four young black girls and even this near dead hearted Nation couldn't bear the pain without some response. If Malala had been 50 years old ..... If the tens of thousands in Tahrir square  had been my age instead of your age.... Soweto..... If only you young ones could realize the power, especially you over privileged white American children, that you have to the extent that with dignity, discipline, restraint, self respect, reverence for life... you pay, or offer to pay, with your lives, which does not necessarily involve dying, but that you truly offer to pay with your lives for the future that you want for creation. This seems so unjust, but it is what life does. This seems so unjust, but it is exactly what every uniolet Warrior  that we Revere has done.  There is no other way.  It can take many forms, but there is no other way and never will be.  Everything has a price.  Violence seeks to exact that price from the other.  Non violence  is determined to pay, and or offer, that price themselves. Only cancer and violence does not. Violence in the pursuit of justice is still violence, cancer.

I just don't seem to have it in me to work for justice. Sanders, and those working with him, do, but I just don't find it in me. I have it in me to.....

I just don't seem to have it in me to work for justice. Sanders, and those working with him, do, but I just don't find it in me. I have it in me to work, every breath, for loving, but for me, a just world, that is not loving, I just don't have it in me to work for, and I think it's an illusion, I don't think you can arrive at, and I certainly don't think you can maintain, a just world, that is not first, loving.  I don't have it in me to work for justice, first. If you work for loving you may get the healthy, vibrant, joyful, living, self perpetuating, lovely child ... Justice. If you work for Justice at best you will get a stillborn child. At least that's my understanding of how it has always worked and always will.

Does anyone have children... for the CHILD'S Joy? Adults have children thinking about themselves, as I perceive it. How unspeakably selfish. 'Oh, I just think we have created such an incredibly wonderful, bright, joyful, future, in the year 2016, that I just really really really want to bring children into the future. It will be so wonderful for them!!!' WTF???????

Does anyone have children... for the CHILD'S Joy? Adults have children thinking about themselves, as I perceive it. How unspeakably selfish. 'Oh, I just think we have created such an incredibly wonderful, bright, joyful, future, in the year 2016, that I just really really really want to bring children into the future. It will be so wonderful for them!!!' WTF???????

5.08.2016

Video. Man. Steve Cutts

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WfGMYdalClU

On being vegan vs. Consuming animal products, part of an ongoing dialogue with a friend: This article just came up on my listening list........

On being vegan vs. Consuming animal products, part of an ongoing dialogue with a friend: This article just came up on my listening list and I went through it pretty thoroughly. Seems like something that you would have, might have, recommended so I share with you my comments. They are not my comments to you. They are my thoughts about the article. I share those thoughts with you.. http://primaleye.uk/ethical-meat-eaters-response-to-cowspiracy/. I've always appreciated, but just in the last year deeply appreciated how absolutely correct I think that Albert Schweitzer was in his assertion that the ultimate human value is, reverence for life. Various people I see on Facebook occasionally refer to the soul of a creature. I don't remember who has made these references, and they have done it in passing it appears to me. But it was useful to me that they did because it captures much how I feel. I relate to what seems to me to be the soul in a dog, a horse, the bat, the dolphin, a jellyfish, worm, and Ant.... I really revere such Souls, Spirits, life... yes, Revere. Hence, I like to see those Souls persist as opposed to being extinguished. I like them to be joyful as opposed to suffering. As I've said, if a mosquito is biting me, if a bed bug is going to bite me I may well kill it. I'm comfortable with boundaries. Not that I should be, but I am. If it turns out that for me to be highly functional I need to eat some level of animal products causing the pain and or death of those animals, I will do it so that I can serve what I think is a larger good. I think that my attitude is similar not only to Scweitzer, but Einstein, Gandhi, and many, most, people that I Revere throughout history. People that I respect prefer that other Souls don't need to suffer. My point in all this is that in my attempt to make every second count I am very conscious of whether a potential Source or an actual source that I am considering has a bias or is simply trying to get at absolute truth. This is especially important in an area that is complex because I look for sources that effectively can save me a whole lot of homework but to do that they need to be very intentionally objective and unbiased. I suspect that there is much useful information in the article above. I also suspect that there is much bias, an author who prefers eating creatures, for the flavor I suspect, secondarily maybe for some health value, and is pretty interested in defending his position. That is his right but it makes him less helpful to me than otherwise. So basically I am unpersuaded by the article. It is my understanding that for an animal to create protein from plants requires a relatively huge amount of resource, land, water, intake of plant material, and that if a human being intelligently consumes plant material they can create their own protein at a relatively small fraction of those resources. On that basis I find the article overall extremely unconvincing. Yes, I absolutely have a biase. I have a bias against making other creatures suffer or die. Except to the degree necessary for basic survival. So I leave the article pretty much where I started, I sense that little or no animal protein is necessary to the healthy human functioning except in rare instances. I am not sure that that is correct. I remain interested to learn otherwise should I be wrong.

***** Mothers Day 2016: In 2016, democracy disintegrating, life on Earth itself disintegrating probably unstoppably, the mother who loves her child the most is the mother who does not bring another child onto this Earth unless and until a livable future is secured. The loving mother in 2016 is she who adopts, not she who gives birth. Hate me if you will, I'd rather be hated for speaking the truth than have the suffering of future children on my conscience and on my heart.

### Mothers Day 2016: In 2016, democracy disintegrating, life on Earth itself disintegrating probably unstoppably, the mother who loves her child the most is the mother who does not bring another child onto this Earth unless and until a livable future is secured. The loving mother in 2016 is she who adopts, not she who gives birth. Hate me if you will, I'd rather be hated for speaking the truth than have the suffering of future children on my conscience and on my heart.