Today is the first day in several weeks that I have felt roughly my old normal, which is ready to work. I don't know if my nervous system has finally worked things through, or if it was something like a vitamin B12 deficiency. I did get a shot yesterday. I'll be interested to see what the blood work I initiated today has to say. It is continually curious to me that the side of me that admires Bernie Sanders and wants to jump in is continually shot down by the side of me that says no. Too little. Too late. Not the revolution. As anyone can see I continue to put up mildly encouraging posts regarding Sanders for whom I have a high regard. But the only Revolution I'm interested in is a revolution of total solidarity lived with the neediest, loving. And as positive as I see the Sanders campaign being it is a campaign about more Justice for we already over privileged Americans. It's not that I think that is bad, but it is not the revolution I'm waging. At least, this is the best I can figure so far why my body is not climbing into that Sanders fight. Here I sit on K Street with the free Palestine vehicle.
I think the lesson that I'm being taught is what I have long suspected but I'm seeing more clearly, the fight for justice is not the same as the fight for loving. And the only thing that seems to be able to get me out of bed is the fight for loving. Quite perplexing to me. But I think that's what's going on with me. I am not trying to argue that anyone should agree with my point of view. It is too unclear to me to do so.
... It is that at this point in history I think that the only thing that is sustainable is a revolution of total loving , as unlikely as of course that is. But it's the only thing that is sustainable. Everything less is straightening the deck chairs on the Titanic. So I fight, but I fight The Impossible fight for loving, not for slightly delayed Armageddon. This is really really surprising to me, but that's what I think my nervous system is telling me, doing. I keep watching it. I keep questioning. I keep listening. I keep challenging.