***** Another note to my dearest: (detail) "I think I can stand, I think I have no choice but to stand, for Universal Family, or kill me, or torture me. I think I can do that. I think maybe I can hold on to that, and let that hold on to, and to lead, me."

This felt like a real step forward for me personally, a real liberation.  I am totally overwhelmed by the horrors... every day new ones emerge that I didn't see, and I thought I'd seen it all.   Look to my blog for the Chris Hedges article today on 'We Kill our Revolutionaries' about the magnificent young man framed by the US Gov for a murder he didn't commit... because he was leading fellow prisoners to stand up for their rights. I can't breathe.

Every minute is a new horror, a new holocaust, in just Palestine.  Like yesterday when Israel opened flood gates and flooded already homeless thousands in Palestine from their hovels. 

How do I breathe?  What do I do?  How do I get out of bed?  What do I tell others?  How do I defend what I do?

I don't know. Tho I'll study every minute I am able, I don't know. I'll never know.

But when this hit me, an evolution of a similar revelation about 7 years ago, all of a sudden I felt something I may be able to hold on to, a lifeboat,  right up to the gallows:

"I think I can stand, I think I have no choice but to stand, for Universal Family, or kill me, or torture me.  I think I can do that. I think maybe I can hold on to that, and let that hold on to, and to lead, me."