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JAMES' PERSONAL WRITINGS: SLOVING
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5.31.2007

SERVING FROM MY HEAD, LOST HEAVEN

Start Loving, reporting in.

I am a sinner. What a relief. How hopeful. It is just slight, but even so, more than previously I am glimpsing the value in recognizing my "sinful" nature. Why? Forewarned is forearmed! If don't feel license or allowance from this recognition, and I want NONE! But it is helpful, and hopeful for me to be more acutely aware that "gravity" will always have the tendency to pull me down, for me to "fall." Only through constant vigilance and effort can I hope to achieve and retain the "heights" of Heaven.

For the last 5 days I have been largely away from the Sudan Embassy Vigil, covering for my sister Ellen while she is away. My primary use of time has been covering her food collection and distribution activities, and working on weeks worth of blogging backlog - Preaching the Almighty, Preaching the "Kingdom" on this site.

Pretty noble stuff, right? Heavenly, right? NOT FOR ME.

Not in this sense - I have fallen back out of Heaven!!!!

  1. I've allowed no time for Prayer,
  2. I've allotted massive time for "Head" work - the blogging,
  3. I'm in a safe, comfortable, resource rich environment - tons of comfort and food (I'm tasked by our Father with driving my weight to skeleton level.

I'VE BEEN EATING LIKE A PIG, DESPITE THAT DARFUR NEEDS ME ON A SEVERELY CALORIE REDUCED DIET! AND I'M HAPPY WITH MYSELF! AND I AM FEELING DIRTY, UNCLEAN, "FALLEN."

AM I EVIL? Hmmm. Maybe more than ever before I am finding some tiny sympathy with the prevailing "A Christian" notion that we are fallen and needy. In some sense I "AM" my body, more than I am my Spirit, the Almighty within us.

This, for me, points again to how enormously critical it is to manage our environments and to deliberately and carefully pay attention. "PAY ATTENTION" LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. Guidance for my young friends, of every age.

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