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5.13.2007

Frosh Yr College - Heaven! Start, entered Hell that summer.

To my younger brothers and sisters.

Please be warned that through no fault of your own you can expect to experience what can best be described as "heaven" three times in your life:
* 0-1 years. Love is all you are. Love / Respect / Attention is all you are likely to get.
* Pre-school / Kindergarten. Ditto.
* Freshman Year College: Never before or after will you be with such a high percentage of Human / Humane / Humanized ... humans. All have lost their dehumanizing crutches for that magical, tragically brief year. Gone are their cliques, identities, self image, personal history, personal accomplishments. All they are, and all they can be is "folks," "brothers," "sisters," "FAMILY." Not that perfect is it? Much closer than not for many of us. IT WAS FOR ME!

By Sophomore year it vanishes, and if you don't know it is NOT your fault, you may think that it IS your fault and never recover. By sophomore year all the dehumanization is back. Folks now have a new identity, their "own" friends / brothers / sisters, personal history, personal accomplishments.... The family of man is replaced by "my friends," not yours. It is Hell again. And there is nothing you can do to fundamentally change this fact. What you can and must to is retain YOUR Humanity, YOUR Universal Family Embrace - REALIZING THAT IT WILL NOT, IT WILL NOT BE RECIPROCATED!!!!!!!!!!

Start, your brother here, knew nothing of this. I experienced the horror of "no more Heaven!" I assumed it was my fault, I freaked out, and it took me 30 years to regain my bearings. This is no immagination.

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