Dear Family, Wish you were here!

Dear Bev, Cap, Chris, Dave, Emily, Gerry, Jeremy, Laura, Marcia, Mary Rachel, Mohamed, Rosemary, Steve, Sue, et al...,

I don't have any stamps and remain without reliable email access. I've wanted to write you but I have no means (thank God! "The Golden Rule is to steadfastly refuse to have what millions cannot have," Gandhi, the only means of avoiding divorce from our brothers.)

But, I have been writing you and will continue to do so when I have access to the blogs. You can see them all by clicking my complete profile at left. Each post is with you in mind.

I love you and will always. You are my family and always will be in my heart.

Wish you were here! Why? Man, this is Living! No kidding! Imagine the most wonderful vacation you can. [These are just some of the ones I've taken: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I...]This is better! Perfect? No. There are still distractions and limitations from making the greatest possible contribution to the health of our death-bed human body. But I am freer of obstacles than ever before!

For the first several weeks of January it was 23hrs per day in front of the White House. Was falsely arrested for "camping" (I was not) and that court date is mid March. I face weeks or months in prison if convicted. No matter. However I can best serve. Time will tell.
Thrown in were two 3 day stints with Catholic Workers, risking arrest 3 times and getting arrested twice - one at the Pentagon exposing the workers to the faces of Iraq children, and one at the Federal Court House in DC standing in for Abdel Galib Amed Hakim, 27 of Ta'iz Yemen who has been kept at Guantanimo in illegal detention by the US Goverment that I have been funding. That court date is mid April.

Since Jan 19th, the day of my Pentagon court date (dismissed without prejudice) I have been contributing to two of today's living saints, Thomas and Connie and Ellen. They are renovating the basement of their base of operations so the Washington Peace Center can operate there, and so that there is in-floor heating for the main floor. By donating my time to the construction I thought I might contribute to their Spirit, and I think I have done so. The project has continued long past what I anticipated. Now my guess is that by week's end I will take my leave and return to the Darfur Vigil at the White House. Here I have had unexpected access to the internet and have created this blog - my most important ever. [and ESPECIALLY THIS POST >>>CLICK HERE!!!!]. I pray it is of help to you. It can be your transportation, in part, to this wonderful spot I've found!

Life does not get much better than this. Well, ok, it does. When one learns much more than I have about courage, giving, compassion, humanity... than I have, yes, it IS better. But I'm learning and making a way. The way? :-)

There is a whole world of room here if you ever know anyone that wants to come and visit or stay for a while, or even move in!

I miss you all dearly, but only because I love you so.

Wishing you great Joy and loving you forever, brother jay

Man must discover fire for the second time.

“The day will come when after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And on that day for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."
This is a quote of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

The notion of "fire" as an element of our Christian quest haunts me, in a very positive way. It will not leave me.

The Christian (always when I say this I mean in Jesus' eyes) may best understand her/himself as a flame, a Sacred bit of fire.
The Christian is charged with:
* Maintaining the flame - protecting it at the cost of one's life if necessary.
* Growing the flame as though the fate of the entire planet depends upon it, which it does.
* Spreading the flame to the soul of others with every bit of speed possible, at every conceivable opportunity, spending every second on this task as the only hope for humankind, which it is.

Spirit is Fire is Spirit is Fire....

Oh, there is much work to be done. Let's get on with it.

Our beloved Wiseguy left his body today

He was diagnosed yesterday with cancer. It was estimated he had one or two weeks to live.

He is a miraculous (sacred?) dog. Wiseguy was not in any pain, but he knew he was sick; for about a week now. A massive tumor in the stomach. You could almost literally see it grow in size.

I'm so sad. I'm so sad for Thomas; and Connie; and Ellen.

I've never seen such a one-person, totally committed and dedicated animal. Wiseguy is totally devoted to Thomas. He mourns when Thomas is out of his sight. Mourns! At the park when it is cold, and Thomas naps, Wiseguy lays down close to keep Thomas warm. For hours.

The tears. The sadness.

We've been so blessed by Wiseguy.

We all tried to make his last days with us a Joy.

Wiseguy made his exit while in Thomas's sleeping arms today. It was Divine. Wiseguy would follow Thomas EVERYWERE/ANYWHERE. But when Thomas invited him upstairs at about noon to nap with him, Wiseguy couldn't make it past the 3rd step. None of us could imagine he would go so quickly. So Thomas returned with him to the livingroom floor and took his nap with his arm wrapped around Wiseguy. I could see that Wiseguy didn't sleep. But he was completely at peace in his brother's arms, sharing with his partner Thomas some of the love he had so lavished on him every day. Seeing that everything was as it should be, and that there was no more for him to do to help us, Wiseguy quietly made his exit.

There is much for us to learn from Wiseguy and others of his higher species. They are higher than humans because they never learned not to care about the "other." They never learned to care more about themselves than about the other. They never suffered the "Fall." If we want to we can learn from them how to Love, how to Live.

Wiseguy exited his body but he can't exit this world. He has entered too many of our hearts/spirits/souls for that to happen. So actually, Wiseguy continues at his post showing us how to Live, how to Love. May we learn from Wiseguy. May we follow his lead. In time.

Thank you Wiseguy. Thank you.

Thank you. It has been an honor to know you.

Christian? Soldier. YOU take away the sins of the world.

Mop-up operations. Not in the usual military sense. But I can't escape the aptness of the term - MOP-UP OPERATIONS.

Jesus took away the sins of the world. "Love as I have loved." CHRISTIANS are to take away the sins of the world. We are to mop-up the sins with our bodies. Isn't that what Jesus did? He used his body to make visible, attract and absorb the sins of the world.

"The real food for the Spirit is the Flesh," said Jesus (Tolstoy translation of the Gospel.)

Jesus did it to spare us? Bull shit. Jesus MODELED it for us - HE SHOWED US WHAT TO DO, HOW TO LIVE AND LOVE IN A WORLD OF SUFFERING.
Christian? Soldier. YOU take away the sins of the world.

:-)

see also John Koffee in The Green Mile; Steve Beko in Cry Freedom....

Christian? Leader.

If you are Christian (in Jesus eyes) then you are a leader, by definition, by function. Christian and Leader are inseparable.

You cannot be Christian (in Jesus eyes) and NOT be a leader - actually and consciously. Like everything that matters - this is not a "rule," it is how things work.

"Give us [all] this day our daily bread." This is an exhortation from Jesus to each of us to leadership. The "daily bread" is our clear understanding, individually, today, this instant of what our Father's will is for each of us individually. "Give us [all] this day..." is a clear exhortation to each individual Christian to lead "us all" (her/his brothers) to see our daily bread. Gandhi - "you must be the change you wish to see."

Tolstoy's translation of Jesus (Gospel in Brief), "...the fulfillment of the Father's will depends on each man's effort and striving to make people see that life is given, not for oneself personally, but for the fulfillment of the Father's will, which alone saves from death and gives life." Leadership. Leadership is how we make people see.

For my entire adult life I have felt called to leadership. I'm just now, with today's insight, with this post, I am understanding why this call has been so deep and so urgent for me, for all these decades.

No, unfortunately the models that abound in this world of "leader" are absolutely not what Jesus calls us to. Francis of Asisi said, "We must preach the Gospel all day long, and occasionally use words to do so." This kind of leadership. BE Good. DO Good. THAT is the kind of Leadership Jesus calls for. Life service, not Lip service. "They will know you by how you love one another." "Do unto others ALL that you would have them do unto you." Living these commandments is the leadership, the ONLY leadership.

Wow. We've got a lot of work to do.

If you are not being crucified...

... by the world, you are not following Jesus.

Yes, the point is NOT to go seek crucifixion. No! It doesn't work like that!

But, I can't think of any exceptions in my life - if I am on or near the path I am being crucified:
* Isolation
* Disdain
* Solitude
* Hunger
* Poverty
* Imprisonment
* divorce by/separation from people I love and need
* Derision
* Slander
* etc
* etc
* etc

Did Jesus exist?

Did Jesus exist? Does it matter? Does it matter if he is a fiction? Does it matter if he lived? Does it matter if he was the son of God? Does it matter if there is a God in fact? WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT IS LEFT US DIRECTLY AS HIS. What matters is if we use it.

Did Einstein exist? Does it matter? Does it matter if he is a fiction? Does it matter if he lived? Does it matter if he was the son of God? Does it matter if there is a God in fact? WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT IS LEFT US DIRECTLY AS HIS.

Did Newton exist? Does it matter? Does it matter if he is a fiction? Does it matter if he lived? Does it matter if he was the son of God? Does it matter if there is a God in fact? WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT IS LEFT US DIRECTLY AS HIS.

Did Lister exist? Does it matter? Does it matter if he is a fiction? Does it matter if he lived? Does it matter if he was the son of God? Does it matter if there is a God in fact? WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT IS LEFT US DIRECTLY AS HIS.

Did Columbus exist? Does it matter? Does it matter if he is a fiction? Does it matter if he lived? Does it matter if he was the son of God? Does it matter if there is a God in fact? WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT IS LEFT US DIRECTLY AS HIS.

"This has to stop...." Rachel Corrie; Christian Soldier

"This has to stop. I think it is a good idea for us all to drop everything and devote our lives to making this stop. I don't think it's an extremist thing to do anymore." Rachel Corrie

What makes a Marine? I think it is debatable, but for me the answer is heart. It is a certain type of heart that make a Marine. Some are born with it. Some strive with their entire being to achieve it. But striving, wanting, imagining, wishing, praying, talking... do not make a Marine. Achieving/having the HEART of a Marine makes a Marine.

It is a certain type of heart/spirit/Soul that makes one a disciple of Jesus. Off hand I don't think of anything that better captures that heart/Spirit/Soul than Rachel's words above. I don't think one is Christian if / when their heart is anything less than that.; not in this world of almost total misery and death. Were not those same words everpresent in Jesus breast? "There is no greater love than to lay down your life...." "Love as I have loved...." "The Good Shepherd (Christian) lays down his life for his sheep...."

We are not Living (we are not a Disciple) if we spend minutes/hours/days/weeks/months/years/decades living divorceded/self-anesthetizeded/AMPUTATED from the agony of this world - Darfur, Manhattan, Congo, New Orleans, Hatai.... And if we are not amputated from, WE ARE SERVING THE NEED, "the least of these my family...."

Living = Christian. One body. ONE body, no amputation, no anesthesia.

Following Jesus: Judging is the hardest, most important part

No! Contrary to popular teaching by today's Scribes and Pharasese - the "Church" - Judging is not forbidden, it is Jesus greatest requirement of us if we are to follow him:
* "Love as I have loved."
* "Do unto others all that you would have them do unto you."
* "They will know you by how you love one another."
These are NOTHING if not exhortations to scrupulously judge/evaluate ourselves and others.

YES, WE MUST NEVER "JUDGE" IN THE WAY OF PLACING OURSELVES OR OTHERS ABOVE OR BELOW OURSELVES OR OTHERS! But as the MD (Dr.) must "diagnose/judge" the condition of the patient, the disciple of Jesus must judge matters of the Spirit/Soul as a absolute requisite to service. Come on now, let's stop the idiotic, heretical disparagement of all "judging."

The hardest thing I do as a would-be disciple of Jesus is my attempts to adhere to this requirement - this necessary task of Judging. It would have been so much easier in so many ways to avoid judging my own life and how best I could serve and to:
* Stay in my half million dollar house.
* Keep my 20 year career.
* Be a "normal" father.
* Be a "normal" person.
* Stay with my wonderful adopted family in West Chester.
* Keep my comfortable management job.
* Stay with my new Washington DC adopted community....

"If you do not hate family... you cannot love me."

The "good" is the enemy of the "great."

There is no success on my journey of discipleship that has come without my adherence to this requirement to JUDGE. It is way hard. It is indispensable. Want to be "Christian?" JUDGE yourself and others with TOUGH LOVE.

LIP SERVICE, Jesus taught, is the UNFORGIVABLE SIN

No? I just got this! I've hated lip service throughout my adult life, but just within the last 24 hours clarity has come to me that Jesus hated lip service the most! Why? Because when we engage in lip service we are the very least likely to get on the "path!" Why? Because with lip service we release the tension that conscience/good/Father/God exert within us, the TENSION that would otherwise save us!

Think about what He said about:
* The two sons. One said "I'll do it!" and DID NOT. LIP SERVICE. The other son said, "NO WAY!" and DID IT.
* The Unforgivable Sin is to deny the Spirit. LIP SERVICE! Yes, lip service acknowledges the Spirit, but TALK IS CHEAP. ACTION IS DEAR. LIP SERVICE, NON-ACTION IS TO DENY THE SPIRIT!
* Who did Jesus rail against?!??! THE HYPOCRITS! LIP SERVICE.

Lip service is the unforgivable sin, because it is the sin we are least likely to escape. Lip service will KEEP US OFF THE PATH.

THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENSIONS.
THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH LIP SERVICE.

Jesus/God/Good DO NOT PUNISH US. EVER!

...They simply WARN US where the PUNISHING CONSEQUENCES OF ERROR ARE! Just like a loving human parent frantically warns a child that a finger in the flame will result in great pain!

Being on the "path" is to be pain free psychologically and in "Heaven" (full joy, peace, love, Life!), although physically crucified/persecuted. Think of the mother bleeding, broken and bruised from a car wreck, running with her injured child in her arms. Is she in pain? Physically, yes. Psychologically? NO!

Come on in!!!!! or don't :-(

In my youth I craved skiing. I almost always did so alone. With very little time on the slopes (I grew up in NJ!) I became very, very good. It was as though my entire being merged, or was trying to merge with the skis-boots-trails-mountains. It was day-long orgasm after day-long orgasm.... No, it was not specifically sexual in that sense, but it WAS that intense/overwhelming/awesome/excruciating/sacred. Pretty much.

Why did I ski alone? Hmmm. Well, it was not because I told others - GO AWAY! Oh, many moments/seconds I yearned so deeply for others to want to be with me in the experience.

Why did I ski alone? Because no one wanted to/could join me. Almost everyone else wanted to be with someone on the mountain. What I wanted was the reverse - I wanted to be with the mountain and have others experience that with me. No one else could imagine what I was experiencing - they couldn't see it for themselves; they couldn't see it in me. There were brief times when I was lonely, sometimes intensely lonely. But the loneliness never blurred the choice - or obscured the Pearl. No contest. Merging at the cellular level with the mountain - that always won out. Heavenly. Was God/Our Father/Humanity what I was merging with?

I wonder sometimes, idly, amusedly if anyone will be at my funeral (if there is one - CREMATION please, no plot!), whenever that happens in the next 50 years or so. My guess is, probably not. :-) Within any given week for this last month or so this realization comes to me - probably not. People don't stay with me, although they would say/perceive the reverse.

What I want to share this morning is - as absurd and contrary to how others would see it - I feel like my whole life I've been trying to be on or as close the "path" as I can. I've always been closer to the "path" than most. I really experience being ON the "path" now. Yes I am walking it ineptly. But I am walking it. IT IS HEAVEN.

What I want to share this morning is - COME ON IN, THE WATER IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But if you don't, I'm not coming out to be with you. The invitation will ALWAYS STAND, ALWAYS. I WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU, YEARN FOR YOU. But, if you won't come, I'm ok with that. Now, what I'll do is work as hard as I can to ENJOY the "path," THAT OTHERS MIGHT SEE. But if you don't choose to join, that is up to you. YES I CARE! I ACHE FOR YOU TO BE ON IT, AND WITH ME. But, if you don't, or, until you do, I'm staying in/on. This is a new sense of comfort for me. A new idea. I feel that everyway I can I've been an "invitation" and have spent great time and energy extending the invitation. I don't regret that, but I'm tired of doing it, and maybe it has been a disservice to you.

The Father of the prodigal son never left his estate. He stayed on the estate, building it, keeping it strong, maintianing the access roads so it would be ready! In God's time the son chose to return, and the Father was overjoyed!

The Cost of Grace

Dietrich Bonhoeffer -

"Through the call of God, men become individuals… Every man is called separately, and must follow alone. But men are frightened of solitude, and try to protect themselves from it by merging themselves in the society of their fellow-men and in their material environment. They become suddenly aware of their responsibilities and duties, and are loath to part with them. But all this is only a cloak to protect them from having to make a decision. They are unwilling to stand alone before Jesus and to be compelled to decide with their eyes fixed on Him alone…. It is Christ’s will that he should be thus isolated, and that he should fix his eyes solely upon him."

"Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the Cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.

"Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods.

"Costly grace is the Gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock. Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner.

“It is the characteristic excellence of the strong man that he can bring momentous issues to the fore and make a decision about them. The weak are always forced to decide between alternatives they have not chosen themselves.”

Question: What is the greatest gift we can ge given?
Answer: A relationship with Our Father/God - our "Daily Bread" - His "Will" for us.

Question: How many people, adults, have this gift available to them, really?
Answer: In my experience - very few; they/we just don't hear, are not aware of hearing even a murmer from Him.

Question: What is the greatest tragedy that could befall someone, and befall their loved ones?
Answer: That a person blessed with the ability to hear His Will, even very faintly at first, turn away instead. "But men are frightened of solitude, and try to protect themselves from it by merging themselves in the society of their fellow-men and in their material environment." Thereby they deprive themselves of Life, and deprive their loved ones of the greatest possible hope - Life. A candle goes out.

"If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple." (Luke 14:26)

[Yes, this one I wrote specifically with you in mind. :-) Love, Brother jay]

Action Springs from Readiness for Responsibility

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.”

“To deny oneself is to be aware only of Christ and no more of self, to see only Him who goes before and no more the road which is too hard for us.”

“It is the nature, and the advantage, of strong people that they can bring out the crucial questions and form a clear opinion about them. The weak always have to decide between alternatives that are not their own.”

“One act of obedience is better than one hundred sermons.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Father's Will" is a way of Life: Physical properties

Hmmm. This is a working piece for me - as I try to understand what I am learning through this recent walk / adventure.

Living "Our Father's Will"=God's Will=Goodness=Humanity (what through prayer/contemplation/meditation I IMAGINE it to be) has predictable properties / outcomes.

What do I mean? A few examples.
* David Dellinger is in Mid 1960's Fla talking at a church in a positive way about the Cuban revolution. Cubans hating the revolution swarm in threatening violence. One smashes Dellinger in the back of the head. He responds by turning to face the attacker and extending his hand in friendship. Instead of a fight, dialog ensues.
* jay 30 days ago left the US culture of competition, greed, stuff, addiction; left with what he had left after paying his last debts - nothing but bus fare and some clothes. Making not one request for help of anyone he has received:
- a donation of $200 beyond the price of a laptop he was selling [thought I didn't notice? :-) ]
- personally donated food all but two of those days
- Warm clothes and a sleeping bag
- A new warm jacket
- Offers of lodging on cold nights
- Encouragement from some of the Park Police and Secret service....

What is going on here? Our Father's Will/God/Goodness is predictably (there is NO CERTAINTY in ANYTHING in life) called forth in the face of extreme Humanity/Brotherhood. EXTREME Humanity/Brotherhood.

When we Heroically, Extremely exercise our own Humanity/Good/God/Brotherhood the odds increase from near zero that others will begin to exercise theirs.

Our religion in this society is to place as much insulation between us and God/Good as possible! WE DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD/GOOD/OUR FATHER'S WILL. We do not trust in Good/God/OUR FATHER. "I'll take care of myself, of my own!" Thereby we kill Good/God/OUR FATHER through atrophy in ourselves and starve it in others.