Profoundly important. The Holy Grail, has James finally rediscovered it?

James has been very much alive these last twenty years, escaping the insane asylum that is our cultural norms, our prescribed cultural way of being walking death. But these years do not match the freshman year in college for James.

It is still indescribable. There were material aspects. It was materially a conducive environment, an upscale liberal College in a program where James had near complete Freedom of Choice over courses.

But that wasn't it. What James had for that year was a feeling of complete liberation of his psychological being.

It was a Holy Grail lost that following summer and never reclaimed, maybe until yesterday?

Time will tell. But this is the first time that James has had an inkling of what happened, what was going on, and how to recover it.

And as of this morning this is the theory that James will pursue. James freshman year in college from the start he became a soul in charge of his head and Flesh. It just happens.  Although it happened because he had been a captive of his flesh and secondarily his head all the years up until then, and it's some deep level James knew it wasn't working. So he tried something different, something immensely effective, but he didn't know what it was.

James was very much aware of his flesh, and of his head, but they were never in charge. They were tools for him, respected and treasured vehicles  for his soul. What he now understands to be his soul, his limbic system, was every breath in charge. This was unconscious competence, now finally after all these decades becoming conscious?

It was a constant sense of being part of the infinite. It was unending Joy.

James is now plagued by chronic back pain except as the day wears on and James is up right and under those circumstances for the most part the pain subsides.

Yesterday wrote James of becoming aware that this pain was empowering his flesh to be in charge. Very understandable. But what a waste of existence? How inferior to the experience of the Soul being in charge? For James, yes. He encountered this before, five years ago, during painful and debilitating many months of cancer treatment. And only toward the end of those many months did James begin to realize that his life was being directed by the pain and that it was no life at all. And he began to move his Consciousness out to those he was trying to serve and it helped a lot.

But it was nowhere near the clarity that James seems to have achieved this morning. The soul being in charge. Is that a device for denying the pain? It is a means of denying the pain to be in control. And more importantly, choosing to be a soul in a meat suit (thanks Mel) with that pain.

James realizes this is inconclusive, but it is the first time in almost 60 years has had any idea at all what he had that he lost that freshman year.

But he has been acutely aware all that time that he had the Supreme, and it was lost, and that he had no idea how to reclaim it.

Now he has some idea.

He will now gain some experience and knowledge as to if he is correct.

And although he knew when he lost it, now for the first time he has some inkling of why. His doting, beloved father, decided that James would like to learn flying airplanes. James did not think it a bad idea and went along with the idea of his father who he revered above everyone, and still.

The flight instructor, and one is alone with the instructor during all the training, was criminally abusive psychologically. Probably a military background. The name and the appearance of this creature totally Escapes Me. But the psychological pain, the brilliant attack on the soul was relentless and excruciating. And as this back pain was moving James out of the soul and into the flesh, this monster achieve that with James, with the excruciating unrelenting barrage of psychological pain. And without the conscious competence that maybe he finally has, he was defenseless.

And without the conscious competence he had not a clue of exactly what he had lost, or how to go about regaining it. It was agony for many many years.

Solar RV cycling log May 7th. The balls of the feet are helpful? Who the f*** knew?

Doing these logs is really helpful to James. Will reading these logs ever be helpful to him? Could they possibly be helpful to anyone else?

Where is the consistency?

Those at the top of their  sport can have long long long long periods where they're lost. That speaks, I suppose, to the incredible complexity of what seems to be the simplest sports.

If anything has been consistent for the last 6 months or more from James it has been keeping the feet ankles and Cavs limp.

Guess who showed up halfway through tonight rather productive but not easy voyage? (1440 cal) The balls of the feet playing a prominent role as the points where  pressure is applied to the pedals, playing an important role as sensors to give the body clues as to how long to deliver that forward pressure.

James is likely to continue this  journaling because it is useful to him. But clearly the major thing that it reveals is that for James this is a endless journey with techniques of the day or week, and so far any permanent techniques elusive.

Also emerging was a old friend not seen in a long time, the realization that the motors and electronics act as a multiplier. This is not obvious to James in any tactile sense. But he is glad that it came to consciousness today. This is to say that James can have substantial faith that if he is applying sustained pressure to the pedals that the system will in short order match that with the multiplier that he is assigned which is about three and a half times, this translates into James carrying himself plus about 100 lb and the electronics and motor carrying the rest of the vehicle.

Ignite soul log May 7. Soul struggling through much pain today. A good thing.

This back pain is a new enemy, and a new friend. A friend in that it offers and increased degree of difficulty to the task of being a soul with but not of, the body in pain, and head. Early in the day after an uncomfortable night James did not do so well. But by mid morning he began to be aware of the choice he was making to allow the pain to move his flesh in charge of his beeing. And with the awareness that he was making the choice a different choice became possible. Not easy, not automatic, but possible. And in the coming days weeks months or maybe years this is likely to be an ongoing learning process.

Study of our inner ape, Frans de wall, was continued. Very necessary study for this mission. Our ancestors, chimpanzees, boner bows, do not determine our future, any more than they determine their own, there is an important cultural aspect, but inherent characteristics and propensities certainly play a huge roll in all three species. Halfway through the book only, it certainly is not making it easy for James to hold onto his lifelong preference that the human species is basically good. Basically humane. Basically kind. Basically loving. It may be all those things but if so that is a dramatic departure from these ancestors. And it is not yet the position of the author that he has concluded this at all.

Something else is clear, however. Our ancestors are substantial Lee plastic and molded by their particular cultural environment. And certainly the same is true of the human species and the human individual. We are each treatments for each other. We are each the environment of the other. We shape the other. Direction and agree are the variables.

The thesis upon which James is building his life and his mission is that joy is an emotional state that each individual can choose regardless of external circumstances. Nothing in this book so far speaks against that, nor for it.

Several more encounters that speak to James becoming un welcome in this community or not. One of these encounters with a main point of contact all these months in Lone Pine, the other day seemed negative. The contact today was fairly specific and indicated that it was a false negative.

Another contact, this with someone unknown but clearly of the community, while waiting in line at in establishment, was slightly negative. Clearly that the vehicle and James are known, and that it is known they have been here a long time, without any evidence that this was considered favorable. But not conclucive.

Many help described this to me as Trump country. My writings and postings about both parties is extremely negative. But Trump zealots are quite possibly not going to care about the balance negativity. But who knows? Buy the way, LOL, the community in Portland that I encountered a year and a half ago for a week or so, was highly liberal, and they certainly we're not glad when they discovered my skating view of the liberal community in general. Very Unforgiven. I became totally un welcome there.

The third encounter today was interesting. An older lady, my age may be older, was in the hardware store at the same time I was. There were a few people in the store and as I was walking down an aisle she came up behind me and it turns out she was trying to understand what was written on my shirt. Gladly I stood so that she could read it carefully. Which she did. Not evidently hostile or friendly she was sincerely interested in the word solidarity. Oh, with prisoners you mean? She said. My father is the father of all humans I said, gay, straight, Muslim, Christian, atheist. I feel one with all of those especially those suffering. This is not what she expected to hear, not what she wanted to hear, not how she thinks about things. This was evident. What is not clear to me is how she will think of it after the conversation. She probably doesn't know either. I was glad to have shown her that way of beeing. It may not go well for me.

The evil of Israel is  inundating the world. 'James, I see the destruction of Israel in the next 40 years, someone wrote to me on Facebook.....'

Just being honest. Evil is ascendant. Goodness would destroy Israel. Evil is the Ally of Israel. And 40 years from now the global chaos will be Beyond today's imagining brought about by ecological destruction. There has never been such a miracle as it would take for Israel to be destroyed. They are the tip of the Spear of the emerging evil. Three four hundred years from now what little remnant of the human species there is may bring about some change. But the world as we know it today will be completely gone by then.

Solar RV cycling log May 5, 6. Why is simple relationship so difficult?!?!.

Why is the simple relationship the last thing to try? 45 minutes of complex gyrations to try and move the pedals? Finally to be forced by a mercifully nasty climb that simple is what was desired? Two things, the legs extending from the Torso doing individual leg presses to optimize their own mechanics, and number two, moving not the crank but pressing this extremely heavy vehicle forward in ways that are sustainable and manageable.

At least today, and pretty much for recent Journeys, and pretty much for the last 15% of every Voyage, this is where the body finally arrives.

Mostly James is expressing amazement here. Not so much frustration although there is that. In fact, that this is being articulated and was found within the first 25% of the journey probably is progress.

It is probably somewhat the electronics, but more than that, it is  so easy to try and find options other than staying in constant relationship with the tremendous weight of this vehicle. It's probably something the body tries to avoid. But it is a much more positive experience when the horrible weight of the vehicle is found so that it can be optimally grappled with, these individual one by one every stroke leg presses. The weight is so terrible that the body sort of instinctively realizes, cut the s***! Just get real on moving this weight! It's a really good reflex.

These metrics need to be completely reworked for now. They can be  resurrected if this current insights seems to be a diversion.

Individual squats is another way to think about this seemingly optimal mode.

You don't know what you got till it's gone?

Never has James had better sustained performance then the 100 mi per day one week sprint to the beginning of the Cross Iowa bike ride and that one week event. The metrics, sustainability, enjoy ability, have never been matched by James. There have been excellent periods since. But none that matched that. Only this moment has James realized that it was not clipless bicycle shoes but instead straps like these that have not been used on this vehicle since Palo Alto a year ago September. There has been very good performance since then but not up to the level those two weeks.

At the very least that experience suggests that using straps like this are not a mistake. Not a grave mistake. And it may be that on an extremely heavy vehicle like this they are mechanically, bio mechanically, a better solution.  inconclusive but an important experiment now. And current experience does not suggest that it is a mistake. It seems to solve multiple problems to do with keeping the feet ankles and Cavs limp, and the thighs more automatically the source of power which they must be. And a possibly much more automatic higher power less frustrating ride freeing the mind for study.

May 6.

Yes yes yes yes yes. Another 800 calories, much of it extremely steep climb, yes to the above.

Individual leg presses dictated primarily by the needs of the leg, secondarily by the characteristics of the mechanisms being pressed. Solves a multitude of sins.

You Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone.

These shoes were purchased about 18 months ago just outside the Stanford University campus. This is when this type of shoe that Clips onto the pedal, replaced the leather straps that had been used successfully up until then. Notice the hole right above the big toe. It has been many many many months since that hole was worn any further. It was worn originally now that James recalls, because he found that he needed to loosen the shoes so that he could move his feet as far forward as possible to bring the pedal more under the arch of his foot. The experiment these recent days with the green straps reminded him of this. These shoes are much more cool, and much easier to put in place and remove than the straps. So they are back in use but loosened so that the foot can be much more forward. This may be the optimal compromise.

At least some of the time the much-vaunted upward movement of the leg not pressing at the moment maybe back in use at times. It seems at times to play a nice role in setting up the leg press of the other leg and possibly helping it along a bit with a counter Direction movement.

There are dozens of photographs recording the now unbelievable metrics that James was producing all the way across the northern United States. 130 or 140 watts per hour human was really bad performance. Hour after hour, day after day. There were long days when 170 Watts human or more were sustained. If there were not photographs I would doubt it myself.

Yesterday and today there were times that James simply said to himself, press a little harder, not maximum, but harder. And he seemed to discover that simply by choice he could sustain an average of 130 Watts human per hour. This enabled by the advances discussed above in this post.

Important? Not necessarily. But not very distracting and worth pursuing.

Ignite Soul log May 5. Some in town expressing frustration for James? Irritation? Discomfort? James may be doing good.

Two nights in the hostel. A variety of factors converged. Fatigue, back pain, a marathon running event of unknown size to James suggesting dangerous congestion on the roads. And the new signage which suggested that the vehicle sitting  in town might be an interesting experiment.

It was a good experiment. Inconclusive regarding the back and the signage but some positivity.

Not anticipated but encountered where is several indications that James is becoming an irritant in the area to some, not all. And this may be incorrect. Maybe to all, maybe to none.

Familiarity breeds contempt. It does with few exceptions. James is very familiar in this area now. For Reasons of, having been here for months and with much longer daylight hours so the sheer hours of obvious visibility are increased everyday.

With these possibly hostile in counters he found himself moving from sadness to Gladness  at the possibility. Why Gladness? One is glad when one sees a potential disaster in time, no? When one learns a lesson in time?

But then James saw that maybe he is becoming some of what is needed. A substantial LSGIA being. This was initially a surprising thought to James. But then it began to make sense. We are profound Lee embracing of our head and flesh oppressing our souls to the point of death. When someone with a soul in charge is introduced, after a time the novelty of this wears off and the sense of a threat of normalcy images. Indeed. It is inevitable unless the individual inserted is really not different than the norm.

And James gladly found himself becoming more ready to move on.

And something else, that surprise him, was a willingness to wait to be told to move on. This might not be coming, but if it is, James tendency would be to move on first. No. That would be to deprive the local folks of the experience of deciding to tell goodness to move on. What a wonderful opportunity, what a terrible thing to deprived them of.

Several very important projects, small, but high leverage, progress was made these recent days.

If James is have to leave he will do so. If it is the central will of enough of the community. He is glad now to realize that shame on him if he is not ready to do so at any moment. This item is now top on his daily to do list as a reminder.

Being ready means, for James, being prepared to lose no significant energy and time from the mission. So substantial progress was made in updating James reading list priorities and contents. And this updated list is now on LSGIABeing.com http://www.lsgiabeing.com/2018/01/library-card-catalog.html .

Right now yesterday also, first revision of an exercise to rank notable individuals as to the intensity of their LSGIA Being, was completed. And posted http://www.lsgiabeing.com/2018/03/who-are-lsgia-beings.html . James was surprised at some of the things he learned. There are hybrid individuals. Combination of soul and cerebral cortex and hypothalamus substantially active. Vying for control. Or cooperating in control. He had not seen this but he does now. He was surprised to see that the substantially LSGIA  is never a hybrid, all three in combination controlling. Always soul in charge but using cerebral cortex and hypothalamus to the optimum. He was not surprised but it was useful to see that the anti LSGIA being, creatures of evil, are usually or always hyper active cerebral cortex and hypothalamus allies in their destruction of creation. That always the LSGIA being is driven for joy and the anti LSGIA being, the creatures of destruction, always motivated by pleasure and without any joy. Addicted to the intoxication of pleasure. Willing to destroy anything, to destroy everything, to increase that pleasure. Particularly to destroy goodness.

With a mixture of Gladness and dismay Franz de wall, our inner ape, is receiving more study. Chimpanzees and bonobos. Doubtless there is much we learn by understanding these ancestors. Wondering however if Franz is able to trans send? Or if he is limited by applying what he sees there to us? Central Lee, does he see the capacity for building a life on the pursuit of joy, on the soul in charge? Does he find that in our primate cousins, does he find that within our species? Do not know the answer yet.

James work on ranking LSGIA being and various study materials for himself and others as clarified that igniting soul is his primary work. His understanding of soul, the limbic system, the mamalian brain, is such that it is the seat of the amazing being potential. It is inherit Lee good because it is inherently part of all of creation. It is that intelligence, it is that energy. Therefore the extent to which goodness is advanced in the well being of all creation, it is inclined to do that, only that, with all of its being. So for all intents and purposes if the soul can be ignited, Re ignited, because it is ignited in every newborn, then essentially the work is done.

Maybe an additional important clarification received by James through his work these last several days is that 95 percent of that, is being that, being intentionally LSGIA being. That everything besides that is of vastly less importance. So James although inclined due to his training in this culture, even the best of the training, is inclined to try and convince with good evidence and argument, that is targeted at the cerebral cortex. No, igniting the soul is the work and being a repository of as many of those prior souls as possible as intentionally as possible is the central work the James needs to do. And the central work for all of us. James was surprised  to de emphasize some of the readings that only months ago he expected to be delving into and elevated others based on these just mentioned considerations.

Your life before sex, do you remember how awful were those years of Innocence? I don't......

Bringing this to my mind is a very worthwhile read I'm in the process of, Frans De Waal, our inner ape. He is a globally-recognized primatologist and certainly worthy of that. An excellent scientist scholar.
A primary population that he studies is bonobos and they are profoundly sexual.
Less than half way into the book no final conclusions by me yet, but my impression this far is that he is much of the culture that sees sex as Central to life and he has said that without that how incredibly boring life would be.
Full disclosure, there is no one for whom sex was more Central in their life than me for every moment from the age of about 8 until my late forties. It was an obsession and I understood that to be virtue.
In comparison with my life now, it was so incredibly boring, such an incredible waste of time. Exactly the feelings I have looking back as if I had been a raging alcoholic and looking back at all that wasted life.
Recollections I have of my life before sex, before age 8 or 9, is that there was much wonder and awe and joy in it. It was wonderful.
And for the last 20 years and certainly now that is what characterizes my life.

Departure from Lone Pine it is a hand. Jesus taught his disciples to always be ready to depart immediately. When my welcome where is out here I will do so, and possibly before. Left to the time frame of my work it will probably be the fall.

The American dream, I despise, climb on the backs of the poor as far away from them as possible and to live off of them. It is revolting.