All Hope, finally, in 2016, is of the Spirit, by the spirit, and for the spirit. Nowhere other than this can the power be found to turn us around away from total Destruction.

All Hope, finally, in 2016, is of the Spirit, by the spirit, and for the spirit. Nowhere other than this can the power be found to turn us around away from total Destruction.

As I spoke of the upcoming 3000 mile fishing Expedition the elderly man began crying. His soul got it. His soul was moved. Any hope for a habitable planet requires moving the soul.

As I spoke of the upcoming 3000 mile  fishing Expedition the elderly man began crying. His soul got it. His soul was moved. Any hope for a habitable planet requires moving the soul.

Leading Doctor Calls Climate Change Gravest Health Threat of 21st Century 'When you cannot feed your children, you will do anything, even if it means going to war. This is the reality of climate change'

http://www.commondreams.org/news/2016/08/23/leading-doctor-calls-climate-change-gravest-health-threat-21st-century

In the last several days I have realized that I am much more alone in the mission of life than I had realized, and I knew I was very alone. I have realized that many who......

In the last several days I have realized that I am much more alone in the mission of life than I had realized, and I knew I was very alone. I have realized that many who I thought were friends are not, indeed. I experience the truth as liberating and empowering,  regardless of how harsh or sad it may be.

My friends, my family, my fellow Wagers of loving, are those that support my mission, and those whose mission I support.

My friends, my family, my fellow Wagers of loving, are those that support my mission, and those whose mission I support.

### Accepting donations for the upcoming three thousand mile trip to Florida and back in the free Palestine solar bike car. The trip requires......

#### Accepting donations for the upcoming three thousand mile trip to Florida and back in the free Palestine solar bike car. As of today, so that the mission can take place, the money that I have for food for the next two months is 0. I'm fine with that, but the mission isn't going to last very long, I'm not going to exist very long, unless that changes. Not my job. My job is to undertake the mission. Yesterday and today it became clear that the trip requires investment in a $1,600 (installed) transmission, https://www.rohloff.de/en/products/speedhub/, an internally geared bike Hub,  literally the only Hub in the world robust enough* for the stress I put on this vehicle. The Standard hub has just broken for the sixth time. Although that Hub is under warranty it is just not feasible to undertake this first 3000 leg of the Nationwide tour coming up without a reliable gear system. The trip is going to happen,  and I'm going deep into debt now so that it does. How long it lasts, how long I last, depends on whether donations are forthcoming and/or the assistance I've requested prior, which has not materialized at all, in the form of individuals or organizations points South that want to provide a meal, a place for a sleeping bag that is safe, shelter from hurricanes literally... The Pay Pal is at Start underscore loving at yahoo.com. You should share this opportunity with anyone that you think wants to see the mission succeed. The mission is described here. http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2016/08/your-help-needed-searching-for-life-in.html

* There's a remote chance that one other Hub could do the job, at roughly half the price, the Shimano alfine 11, and with the help of a highly-qualified very decent bike shop locally that too is being explored.

***** If our citizen cowardice and inaction, if our liberal Citizen inaction and cowardice, are not to blame for the world's problems then there is no hope because no one can set things right except for we American citizens, we liberal American citizens. To someone that is outraged that I.....

***** If our citizen cowardice and inaction, if our liberal Citizen inaction and cowardice, are not to blame for the world's problems then there is no hope because no one can set things right except for we American citizens, we liberal American citizens. To someone that is outraged that I would not send Obama to Louisiana until they stop denying climate change:  I'm an American, I live in America, I believe that America5 deserves and Americans  deserve need Untold misery for our criminal neglect and how we allow our government to trample people all around the world. That means that I would suffer for that to happen. I take responsibility for the actions of my government. The buck stops with me. In my book, and in the real world, the buck stops with we citizens. You need not feel the same. But that's how I feel and that's how I act..... and to a long time friend  who is horrified at my stance on this, I reject citizens blaming what is 99.99 9% of what we f****** liberals do. Oh, except ourselves, we never blame ourselves. I embrace total responsibility, personal responsibility, personal f****** citizen no excuse buck stops here responsibility. If you are only understanding that now about me, thank goodness you are understanding it now. I am happy to be rejected, I welcome being rejected,  unfriended,  whatever, by all who do not Embrace this. It is totally right and just that those who do not Embrace this would unfriend me. James

Throughout my entire adulthood I disallow myself the luxury of optimism, or pessimism. I demand of myself.....

Throughout my entire adulthood I disallow myself the luxury of optimism, or pessimism. I demand of myself to enable my mission with reality as close as I can get to it and that tends to be extremely harsh, so harsh that few have learned how to deal with it. Any role I've played as transformational Catalyst throughout my adulthood has entirely relied on this willingness to face and bear harsh realities that virtually no one else will. Reality will assert itself. The sooner I can find it and face it the more time I have to change it. I refuse to sacrifice that advantage. I'll continue to the pay the price of increased isolation to do so.

My view is that Revolution is the only thing that can save us, anti violent, and that in Revolution the president is irrelevant, the Congress is irrelevant, the revolution prevails when the revolutionaries have become the relevant entity. It will not happen until more and more of us get past the illusion that the government will save us or that the government is the problem. Our cowardice, our inaction is the problem.

My view is that Revolution is the only thing that can save us, anti violent, and that in Revolution the president is irrelevant, the Congress is irrelevant, the revolution prevails when the revolutionaries have become the relevant entity. It will not happen until more and more of us get past the illusion that the government will save us or that the government is the problem. Our cowardice, our inaction is the problem.

I see no hope. I have no hope. But I see needless suffering. So I fight on.

I see no hope. I have no hope. But I see needless suffering. So I fight on.

' What do you think happened to Jesus when he died?' This a young man asked me this morning. My reply : No offense friend. I say the following with all due respect. I think Albert Einstein was a great physicist. I don't care where he was born. It does not.....

No offense friend. I say the following with all due respect. I think Albert Einstein was a great physicist. I don't care where he was born. It does not affect my respect for his abilities as a scientist. I don't care where he died or how he died. That has no impact on what I understand to be his great contribution as a man. Jesus was the most Divine embodiment of unconditional loving that I have yet seen. I don't care where he was born. I don't care who his mother was. I don't care where he died. I don't care where he went after he died. I care about what he showed us as a possibility for how to be, how to live, in this life. I don't know anyone that agrees with me. I do know people in history that have agreed with me. Jesus agreed with me. Martin Luther King jr. agreed with me. Gandhi agreed with me. Teresa of Calcutta agreed with me. Leo Tolstoy agreed with me. There have been a few others. But the masses totally disagree with me.

I also couldn't care less whether the Prophet Muhammad was transported from Medina or wherever. Anyway, that isn't true that I don't care. I am horrified that we care about these Fairytales instead of looking at the goodness that these men did and following their example. I hate that.

I am not interested in the fairy tales. I am interested in the man Jesus. To try and learn to be like he was. Gandhi was interested in that. So was Martin Luther King. A major source for them was Leo Tolstoy and his books, the gospel in brief, and, the kingdom of God is within you. I do found those very helpful. I find the words of Jesus in the Bible very helpful and informative. I find the works of the scholar Dominic crossan very helpful. Most of what so-called Christians find helpful I find abomination. Be well friend. James

"those with more intelligence and the capacity to use it… are less likely to spend so much time socializing because they are focused on some other longer term objective,” Carol Graham, who researches the economics of happiness for the Brookings Institute, told The Washington Post.

http://www.simplemost.com/study-shows-people-high-iqs-actually-happier-less-social-interaction/?utm_source=facebook.com

### Early September I depart possibly the day after my consult with my cancer doctor. And if she can't meet with me soon enough.....

### Early September I depart possibly the day after my consult with my cancer doctor. And if she can't meet with me soon enough I'll just leave anyway. My current guess is soon as September 2nd.  In the meantime I'll be occupying the campuses in the Washington DC Region as folks return to college. I'll occupy with free Palestine Fusion Bikar. 

http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2016/08/your-help-needed-searching-for-life-in.html

###. Shared with the Saint of a Dr., she who has beaten my cancer so far. A consistantly Divine presence in my life for 6 years or more now: Never once in my life have I done anything because Jesus said it or did it. I'm not........

###.  Shared with the Saint of a Dr., she who has beaten my cancer so far. A consistantly Divine presence in my life 6 years or more now:    Never once in my life have I done anything because Jesus said it or did it. I'm not proud of that nor ashamed. Somehow that's just not how I work.  I have to learn things on my own. The things I have always needed to know I can't learn with nearly the conviction I have to learn without doing it on my own, finding the tallest possible shoulders I can stand on of course, but ultimately learning it on my own. I am always profoundly informed by Jesus,  and others. I've been deeply informed by his words and example since my earliest memories. But I have never done anything because he said to or because he had done it. But when the spirit moves me in some unexpected important direction, it is rare that quickly Jesus words and or example don't come to mind in a way explaining what the spirit just moved me to do.

When out of the blue the spirit moved me to go on This 3000 MI fishing Expedition, http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2016/08/your-help-needed-searching-for-life-in.htmlhttp://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2016/08/your-help-needed-searching-for-life-in.html the following came into my mind. 'I came to bring a fire and oh how I wish it was raging.'

That's exactly how I feel. I want that more than anything else. I'll pay any personal price for it. Even though I expect to totally fail, I will not fail to try.

Doc C, just this moment something else occurred to me, just this moment because of my encounter with you today, the following now also comes into my mind, you are to be Fishers of Men.

There, you've moved me once again to Great emotion. Your Divine presence.

James

If you knew that there is no heaven outside of this life ( it's true ) , and you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you be doing today? Why aren't you doing that???

If you knew that there is no heaven outside of this life ( it's true ) , and you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you be doing today? Why aren't you doing that???

***** Little if anything has the power of the catalyst, miniscule entity massively transforms an infinitely larger whole. It pays the price of total isolation, never becoming part of the larger whole.

Little if anything has the power of the catalyst, miniscule entity massively transforms an infinitely larger whole. It pays the price of total isolation, never becoming part of the larger whole.

I had a criminally over privileged upbringing, as continued most of my adulthood. In my youth I did nothing besides watch television. I read almost nothing. But I remember reading The Diary of Anne Frank and what I value in myself today, and in my life as I live it now, might not be there had I not read that book. Unlike my Zionist sisters and brothers that took the lesson, never again to us, the lesson seared into my soul forever I took from it was, never again to anyone.

I had a criminally over privileged upbringing, as continued most of my adulthood. In my youth I did nothing besides watch television. I read almost nothing. But I remember reading The Diary of Anne Frank and what I value in myself today, and in my life as I live it now, might not be there had I not read that book. Unlike my Zionist sisters and brothers that took the lesson, never again to us, the lesson seared into my soul forever I took from it was, never again to anyone.

***** EFLV (exploring for Life voyage): The theory that I'm operating under explicitly, is one that I have implicitly held Central for my entire adulthood, the need for, and the need from me to be, catalytic change. My sense is that.......

The theory that I'm operating under explicitly, is one that I have implicitly held Central for my entire adulthood, the need for, and the need from me to be,  catalytic change. My sense is that catalytic change is the most dramatic, transformative, powerful available in nature. A miniscule amount of an element is introduced into a system, the right type of element, and the right type of system and the entire Mass transforms almost instantaneously. This notion was Central to Leo Tolstoy’s ideas expressed in his book, the kingdom of God is within you, that was read by Young Gandhi in England that caused Gandhi to totally change the course of his life,  180 degrees. Tolstoy I was that kind of catalyst for Gandhi, and Gandhi became that sort of catalyst for India and the world for a brief period in time.

That I am explicitly pursuing this strategy in no way is a statement that I think I'll succeed. Quite the opposite. Few people in history have succeeded at this although few have tried. But I pursue it of necessity and I think you should consider doing the same. Unless some small element, some minuscule elements, evolve and emerge quickly that cause a massive immediate catalytic Global transformation.... the game's over.

***** Your help needed: Exploring for Life in America, part one, South to Florida and back. Late August through late November. The free Palestine, wagers of loving, solar bike car and me..........

***** Your help needed: Exploring for Life in America, part one, South to Florida and back. Late August through late November. The free Palestine,  wagers of loving, solar bike car and me.

(There is much to do in the next several weeks before my departure so this rough crude correspondence will have to do.)

I think it likely that after my next cancer exam Sept 1 I'm Going In Search of Life. I don't share this lightly. Life is that of Amazement, Wonder,  awe. I find none of it in Washington DC. Virtually none.  Do you see it in DC?  Do you see it around you Where You Are? I find little to none of it among we advantaged anywhere where the gods of data, infotainment, Dogma, affiliation, fear, competition, Comfort, safety, wealth, greed, self-centeredness,  reasonableness, practicality, responsibility... displace them,  Wonder awe amazement, that uniquely  and always are the ever present features of the God, Creator. Wonder, awe, amazement, Inseparable from if not the same thing as the penultimate moral concept from Albert Schweitzer, reverence for life.

I don't know that those with the potential for, or the being of, Wonder and awe and amazement, exist elsewhere in the country ( Beyond most children below the age of two, and among all members of other lifeforms ) but I feel that the most important task on earth for me, for us all… all hope depends on, finding and or kindling these.

I think that if I can find them, encounter the potential, possibly Kindle that potential, it is through undertaking and undergoing and enduring trips like this. Time for part one.

Some of this happened on the 6 week 800 mile Journey last August September over to Ocean City Maryland, Virginia Beach, Durham North Carolina and back to DC. In rest stops, on country roads, at grocery stores, at fast food cheap food stops….

What about my ongoing work in Washington on policy, politics, Civic planning, working through churches,  activist on behalf of the homeless and or poor in this region?

Spirit is everything. It is not that groups I've been working with are bad or useless per se, but in this last decade and throughout my lifetime I find no spirit in these, not yet, anyway. Not since  dr. King  was assassinated  back in the sixties. Groups and organizations and activities like these are instead of spirit in charge. No magic comes from these. Magic happens, Revolution happens, in the spirit of Wonder and amazement and awe. In my prior quarter Century successful business life and in my life-long studies I find no exceptions.

Magic, the spirit of life as we've all but never seen it in our lifetimes, is all that will save us. A new ocean of it, a global infection of it.

I'm quite sure that in September and October I need to go on the first leg of a search, down to the southern tip of Florida in back on the byways and back roads, cities and campuses, churches, synagogues,  Mosques ...

What? Too risky. Too difficult for a 65 year old. Too dangerous. Too exhausting. To impractical. Stay in your nice safe apartment in DC and continue your work there uninterrupted… . All life on Earth, all goodness, all decency is in the final moments where Extinction can be avoided. The only hope is to start a fire of spirit, Humanity, decency starting with Wonder and amazement. I came to bring a fire, and oh how I wish it were raging. Jesus. Me too.

The theory that I'm operating under explicitly, is one that I have implicitly held Central for my entire adulthood, the need for, and the need from me to be,  catalytic change. My sense is that catalytic change is the most dramatic, transformative, powerful available in nature. A miniscule amount of an element is introduced into a system, the right type of element, and the right type of system and the entire Mass transforms almost instantaneously. This notion was Central to Leo Tolstoy’s ideas expressed in his book, the kingdom of God is within you, that was read by Young Gandhi in England that caused Gandhi to totally change the course of his life,  180 degrees. Tolstoy was that kind of catalyst for Gandhi, and Gandhi became that sort of catalyst for India and the world for a brief period in time.

That I am explicitly pursuing this strategy in no way is a statement that I think I'll succeed. Quite the opposite. Few people in history have succeeded at this although few have tried. But I pursue it of necessity and I think you should consider doing the same. Unless some small element, some minuscule elements, evolve and emerge quickly that cause a massive immediate catalytic Global transformation.... the game's over.  Understanding how Central this is is necessary to understanding when Gandhi says, Be the Change you wish to see in the world. Be the catalyst.

Your help is needed. There are currently no resources for lodging along the way,  and only partially for food, and I'll need about 3800 calories a day,  I pedal 100% of the time and I anticipate 6 to 8 hours per day of that. In the Six-week trip last August September of 800 miles there also was no money for lodging, and little for food. Walmart parking lot every night was my lodging. That again is my plan A, but it is pretty rough psychologically and physically to do every night with no brakes. Unsolicited donations along the way when Wonder awe and amazement were kindled and or encountered provided barely enough food.

Who do you know? What organizations be they church, mosque, synagogue, Civic organization, activist groups,  friends, family,  business,  Facebook,  other social networks,  schools... could you tap into that might want to provide a garage floor for a night, an or a brief shower, opportunity for laundry, a spot in the backyard for in a church synagogue or mosque corner... where I could go unconscious for a night, a day or two to recover…,  and or a meal?

I'll be honest, my expectations that anyone will help with this, take action based on this communiqué, are zero. Zero.  This is what my experience tells me. I'll proceed regardless. My ability to complete it, physical well-being, psychological well-being,  safety (storm season is by then upon us) will be far less if no one steps up this time.

I will do my part. I can't control whether others do theirs and my only business in that regard is to make the opportunity known,  and with this communiqué I am feeling that Duty.

Feel free to share this. My contact information is start underscore loving at yahoo.com, Facebook startloving1, 202-749-2158. I have zero time for idle questions or tire kicking. I only have time for those who find that they have a fire for this journey to take place, already know that they are going to help, and simply want to briefly explore the best way to do so.

So, what I am quite sure we can all count on as long as I last is that I'll be peddling about 60 miles a day south as far as I can get with the ability to return by mid to late November before the weather turns too bad. Unless some of you step up and through your networks come up with alternatives… each night I'll be in Walmart parking lot and each day consuming far too few calories. Oh, and I’ll stink to high heaven and be filthy. Or,  one of you, some of you, line up one, two, three... folks, organizations, institutions, friends, family... Along the way that when I am in their area would like to help. Would love to help. Needs to help. Has to help. Is on fire to help.

But if not,  not in Creator's eyes I won't be filthy,  bedraggled, weak.... And not in Creation’s eyes I won't be filthy. And not in the eyes of our sisters and brothers who are suffering or on the verge of being crushed by our Mass, cultural, pathological, suicidal, Ecocidal, and all but now irreversible inaction and cowardice and self-protection and selfishness and timidity, and indecisiveness, and prudence, and ‘responsibilities’, and denial, and delay, and procrastination and excuses....

Whether or not you help doesn't matter to me. I'm just being honest. This isn't about me. Whether or not you help is about the mission, it's energy, it's ability to continue, it's ability to persist, it's ability to survive, its potential to contribute. Its ability to discover and or kindle life.

There is not and may never be a route map. It will be an interactive process. Spirit number one, and if and when people step up with a place where I can throw down for the night in a garage or whatever then they and their location will become part of the planning process. They're very spiritual, very organic, very pragmatic. So if anyone says, hey, I'm south of DC in Florida or between comma if you're in my area you're welcome to a corner of the garage, then they become a pin on my map and stay on my radar screen.

If this plan holds September through November will get me to Florida and back. If there are Parts two, three, four... as I suspect there are then all of the states may be in the cards. Right now what's needed is people tapping their networks as creatively as possible for part 1.

James

Neocons pushed America into Iraq War for the benefit of Israel.

http://mondoweiss.net/2015/05/facing-neocon-captivity/

Human rights catalysts work for the homeless and or poor in my family. Two articles I've written, recently published, and a third in which I was heavily quoted

http://streetsense.org/?s=James+McGinley#.V6inXYYpA0O

Manic depression? Metamorphosis? Both I suspect. Inseparable I suspect. Tho I can't cite the studies off hand I think there's a high correlation......

Manic depression? Metamorphosis? Both I suspect. Inseparable I suspect. 

Tho I can't cite the studies off hand I think there's a high correlation between the highly creative, high contributors, and some form of manic depression. I don't think it's much different than how I was as a world-class skier. You give your last drop of self to the downhill run, then you sit totally spent on the chair lift for a long time. Then repeat, repeat, repeat... gradually but surely becoming stronger, more competent, even more filled with joy and pain. 

This morning here at the DNC after receiving a lovely smile and loving comment from a young Palestinian woman, and then thinking for the very first time to order some Palestinian fair trade olive oil  https://www.canaanusa.com/shop/community-support/ bringing me in closer personal contact with the part of my family I've been so devoted to for so long now, I'm overwhelmed with emotion. Sobbing. 

So much accumulated grief.

Partly exhaustion. For the last 2 days my mind has been unwilling to shut down,  little to no sleep, an Unstoppable torrent of thoughts... a yearning and now detailed planning to undertake a cross-country trip to try and encounter and ignite Souls able to rekindle human spirit should any there still be, a Cascade of breakthroughs regarding the free Palestine solar vehicle on issues I've been pondering enhancements I've been looking to along a myriad of dimensions, major major breakthroughs in my understanding of the physics and mechanics of this solar vehicle as to how much energy it takes from me the Sun climbing descents energy generation and output...  absolute explosion of and leaps in understanding. 

This after after weeks of high productivity coupled with despondency over the world and the utterly disgusting DNC et cetera. The journey continues. James

To a young friend deciding to pay all to the revolution: ☺ I am afraid I may never have the wisdom to counsel any individual beside myself. But........

To a young friend deciding to pay all to the revolution: ☺ I am afraid I may never have the wisdom to counsel any individual beside myself. But I constantly drive myself to understand collectively where our opportunities are. That tens of millions of us have not quit our jobs and planted Our Lives squarely in the way of the destruction of all creation, of all that is good, is clinical mass suicidal insanity. If every breath you hold yourself to the standard of being unconditional tough loving incarnate, I am so glad for you and anyone that finds that path. It is the only sanity. It is the only hope although I really see no hope, but I fight anyway, because that's the kind of person I want to be, and that's the kind of life I want to experience. James

I think the powers-that-be have concluded some time ago that the masses of us are going to drown, they.......

I think the powers-that-be have concluded some time ago that the masses of us are going to drown, they are Feathering their nests, securing their offshore islands and gated communities. I think it is that clear to them,  as clear as day. I can understand the insanity no other way.

***** To a young activist worthy of the name, musing over several outlets she is considering now: Not that you asked, but I think it is more important how we do, than what we do. The only true Revolution is the Absolute, Total, every breath, embodiment of the spirit........

***** To a young activist worthy of the name,  musing over several outlets she is considering now: Not that you asked, but I think it is more important how we do, than what we do. The only true Revolution is the Absolute, Total, every breath, embodiment of the spirit of unconditional loving by whatever words or none at all. I find almost none of that anywhere including in Progressive actions whose ideas I support but whose spirit I do not. Bernie has the spirit, I see it in few of his supporters.  Those on the 10 day March from Philly to DC had the spirit, and then lost it almost immediately upon arrival.  That spirit is all hope. There is no hope besides that spirit. Everything we detest is symptom of the spirit of unconditional loving, serving from the soul in solidarity, being missing. James

More on my Presidential election quandary: recently I concluded that we humans have lived the illusion that our selfishness somehow......

More on my Presidential election quandary: recently I concluded that we humans have lived the illusion that our selfishness somehow gets absorbed in a world of great tolerance and flexibility. My conclusion was that that is as incorrect as to say that one's heart has lots of latitude on when to beat, how fast, when to stop beating.... This delusion has brought the body of humanity and all creation to death's door. I see a vote for Hillary or a vote for Trump to be a vote for this delusion on steroids. Or, do I view a vote for Hillary as a vote against the more malignant Trump , buying us a little bit more time? I don't know how this will play out for me.

August priorities for James. Issues: 1. Interfere with the American Israeli extermination of Palestinians. 2. Stand for the Human rights of Americans who are black, especially in Washington DC where I reside. (Although.....

August priorities for James.

Issues:

1. Interfere with the American Israeli extermination of Palestinians.

2. Stand for the Human rights of Americans who are black, especially in Washington DC where I reside. (Although this has been, is, and will always be a major priority of mine, I'm disappointed to find that rarely can I stand with organized actions as I find them little more than Tantrums which can only hurt the cause.)

3. Maintain currency on strategic Global issues.

Expectations of James for August:

1. Research and outline the housing,  income and job situation and Prospects for Americans who are black and or poor in the Washington DC region,  to inform my ongoing advocacy work and possibly to inform the work of others.

1b. Provide written input on Washington's Consolidated plan.

2. Keep visible the violation of Palestinian human rights around Washington DC primarily by positioning the free Palestine vehicle in the public eye in strategic locations, and secondarily by a low level of republishing informed articles and such..

3. Maintain and upgrade the free Palestine vehicle.

4. Re-establish personally living fully in solidarity with the global neediest. Improve my ability to maintain longer work hours and reduce physical and psychological fatigue.

5. Basic but substantially reduced currency in strategic Global moral issues utilizing Facebook, Google Alert, and blogger.

***** After all these years I think I figured out how to offer a way that I don't waste people's time. For those who find a deep Envy for the quality of life of a Martin Luther King jr., a Gandhi, Malala, Jesus..., and yearn for such a quality of life for themselves and those who they love, I think I have ideas and example to offer. For those who do not feel such deep Envy for the quality of life of the likes of these I think I have nothing of value to share.

***** After all these years I think I figured out how to offer a way that I don't waste people's time. For those who find a deep Envy for the quality of life of a Martin Luther King jr., a Gandhi, Malala,  Jesus..., and yearn for such a quality of life for themselves and those who they love, I think I have ideas and example to offer. For those who do not feel such deep Envy for the quality of life of the likes of these I think I have nothing of value to share.

A confession and a warning: I no longer live in solidarity with the global neediest. For years I have been, in my soul, and to a large degree in material reality. I realized today that in recent weeks........

A confession and a warning: I no longer live in solidarity with the global neediest. For years I have been, in my soul, and to a large degree in material reality. I realized today that in recent weeks that has stopped being true for me spiritually, and to a degree in material reality. What caused me to be alert to this realization is the psychic pain that I have been in for the last week. I have felt depressed and adrift. Without bearings, without points of reference. Deliberately living each breath in solidarity with my neediest sisters and brothers has been my point of reference, my mooring, my bearings for years now. Feelings of guilt are in no way associated with this, nowhere in me. I'm doing the best I know from moment to moment. Because I walk my path alone, not in community, what I do is a metal high-wire act although it is one that generally I am unconsciously competent at and unaware of the extreme difficulty of staying on The Wire. Recent external opportunities and factors have caused me to lose my focus and fall off the wire. The pain of that has gotten my attention and caused me to wake up. Can I get back on The Wire? I hope so. We'll see. This was my third long trip on the free Palestine vehicle. This was my third and fourth long trip on the elf, the third going up last Thursday a week ago and the 4th coming back the last two days. Going up and coming back for the first time I stayed in the lowest cost possible Motel. The other times to conserve what limited dollars I have for donations to the global neediest I stayed in Walmart or Home Depot parking lots. I was aware of this new Choice, unsettled about it, but I went with it. In no way at the time did I understand it as a manifestation of having left full saladarity lived with the neediest. Again, guilt plays no role in this for me. Greed for total peace of heart, meaning, sense of moral clarity, Joy, is what I'm concerned with. The Quest for comfort crowded out these Within Me. Will be interesting to see what happens now. James

### The ice that I skate on seems to be even much thinner than I had realized. For the last 2 weeks I have radically moved from my routine here in DC to exhausting travel involved with the Philadelphia Convention and then return. In the process I gained a horrifying close.......

### The ice that I skate on seems to be even much thinner than I had realized. For the last 2 weeks I have radically moved from my routine here in DC to exhausting travel involved with the Philadelphia Convention and then return. In the process I gained a horrifying close encounter with the fear, loathing, hatred among older whites for any easy target, Muslims, blacks. It really knocked me off my pins. I'm okay. But my horror at the world is even so much deeper than I had realized. I skate very close to Absolute despair. It is fortunate for me that I can see it. Therefore I can deal with it. My task is to fully return my energies to the work I can do and I anticipate that happening quickly.