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JAMES' PERSONAL WRITINGS: SLOVING
JAMES' MOST STRATEGIC POSTS: *****
MUCH OF MY POSTING WAS ON FACEBOOK: STARTLOVING1

4.30.2013

***** the matrix is our best metaphor. This is not 2010 Egypt, it is not V for Vendetta. We've been brought up to the matrix, we will kill to stay in the matrix.

* the matrix is our best metaphor. This is not 2010 Egypt, it is not V for Vendetta. We've been brought up to the matrix, we will kill to stay in the matrix.

***** This is horror. At 62 I'm reading what I should have read at 16...

How iat 62 can I be learning what I should have learned a 16?

How can I just now be learning what civil rights struggle really is? The rebellious Rosa Parks by theoharris.

How can I just now be learning what women's suffrage struggle really was? A woman's crusade Alice Paul.

How can I just now be learning of one of the only true Christians, the essential writings of Albert Schweitzer?

How can I just now be learning what true Christianity is - the gorillas of Peace in El Salvador and South America against the anti-christ Satanism of Ronald Reagan's Americans?

It would have been more sane if for my for 62 years I'd have been taught that health came from a diet of sand and breathing from the exhaust of a car's tailpipe.

We're a culture of the matrix for the matrix in by the matrix, as Creator is my witness.

It is not a plot. It is mass, a multi-generational, insanity.

Jesus told us to come out of society not to repair it. The only solution was to abandon Titanic not to save it.

If you love your children, if you love anyone, you simply must do what I've finally begun to do. You have to find sanity, you have to discover what that means in the matrix.

***** Anyone understanding my fast termination must sense tremendous negativity

Negativity isn't the correct word but it will have to do. Hopeless? Desperately bleak? Destructive negativity!

The truth is the ruler. All hope is in respecting the ruler. Especially when horrible, all hope is in facing , embracing, aligning with the ruler.

I did not want to see what  I saw - that there was no Soul left to Save.

I wanted, I want, to see that at whatever personal cost I can help to Save it.  But I don't see that.  From the top of this Death Fast, I did not see that.

***** Who are the Giants of converting to agape? ....

* Who are the Giants of converting to agape? ....

Who are the Giants from whom we must learn? They are exceedingly few. No discredit to anyone.

Most instructive, they may not be the great agents of social change. Gandhi coensidered himself a failure at the end. And this is why.

His goal was revolution of loving. He viewed that as being the only revolution worthwhile. He thought that by pursuing hugely Humane societal goals he was pursuing the Revolution. But at the end he saw he had merely been exercising the fleshly spirit of the masses. This is a monstrously important, sobering, unusually difficult challenge to work through.

Nothing is more important for me for you to face and master.

***** It concerns me that to terminate a death fast I must first begin it....

There is tremendous potential cost , obviously , to beginning of death fast and then terminating it. But at all personal cost i subordinate myself too truth, reality, as best I can see it.

Obviously I could be too weak, too cowardly, to self centered, too deluded... To start and complete the death fast. But there is not one fiber of me that feels that. My pain for humanity is infinitely greater than any than any concern I feel for myself, before during or after any death fast or hunger strike. My every concern is of being of greatest possible hope and help.

I am certain it is not these things, potential weaknesses, above. No I do not completely dismiss them.

UnViolent warfare, loving, is 99.99 percent internal psychology. 99.999 percent of my laptop is internal circuitry. Get the circuitry right and everything else happens. I can think of little that is more important and true. Gandhi, Theresa, were emphatic that without hours of prayer, internal work, everyday , they could not do their work.

Unless Lewis and Clark threw themselves Westward they could not discover what they discovered materially.

Unless I hurl myself into new, desperately important psychological territory, based on my best intelligence at that moment, I cannot discover what I need to discover about myself, about our situation, about how to personally or collectively work to avert ecoside, or to possibly save from psychological hell the billions we are hurtling in that direction, or the one .

***** 2 Sister J wrote: I appreciate you taking the time to spell this out. I di...

I appreciate you taking the time to spell this out. I did read your post re: stopping the death fast, and I didn't understand what you meant about nothing to save...as I thought your passing was going to be a spark to help people realize that there are 204 billion children to come, worth saving...so that was confusing...but your words here help clarify and I appreciate. I honor your efforts, but most of all your clarity on that journey to the top of the mountain, for in your journey, I took a journey and I learned about connecting to people's souls...I'm not sure what you don't like about McKibben's efforts...I think they are valid in terms of waking up the masses and getting people to take action...NOW
thank you for YOU~!!

-....

Sister J , if to save your child's life it requires an operation today but someone convinces you that getting the operation next month is much more realistic that's criminal, deadly, cruel malpractice. We have history of unviolent change. The library on my site is loaded with the relevant history. If the price of my child's operation is $10,000 and for my child to be saved it has to be paid tomorrow morning and to pay it tomorrow morning will take me to devoting everything I am and have now to secure that money, but the McKibben's of the world, whatever their intent, convince you to ignore the obvious truth, and that instead that you can go in with only $2000 tomorrow morning... Between the two of you you just killed your child. Jill, we're dealing with physics, project management, implementation time, probabilities, economics, politics, the history of change. In view of those what I'm saying is utterly clear and intellectually and historically in contestable. But we don't want to see the truth, because it is inconvenient.

If I were one of five doctors on a crash scene, I think I would run the fastest, I would work the hardest, and I would give up the last. But I would give up if I saw that the patient could not be saved. Yes touching the soul is the only hope. But what I saw from the top of the mountain is that there is no soul in America to restart. We will do absolutely anything to save our children's future as long as it is absolutely convenient. I will do anything in my power to buy a Maserati, as long as the price is under $5.

I would joyfully give my life to save every one at the crash scene. Near killing myself to get there quickly I became the one to see that's all we're already dead because I was the only one that had cared to get on site, Oh, and Diane too. So to my horror I redirected my efforts to try and save just one. But if to my shock and joy I came to see I was wrong and 10 more heroic doctors came sprinting over the hill I'd be back killing myself attempting to save all. This is very easy to understand. It is very obvious. But it is profoundly inconvenient to see, to understand , so we do not . I hate that Al Gore came up with the word because his political malpractice in this is criminal. But it is the correct word - inconvenient . For all of eternity the epitaph will now be -The next 200 billion children were condemned because for the 2013 generation it was inconvenient to break a sweat to try and save them. The US generation of 2013 would not suffer one millionth of what the women suffragists suffered for an infinitely less important goal. the 2013 generation would not suffer 1 millionth of what their peers in Egypt suffered 2 years ago. The generations of 2013 would not suffer one trillionth of what my father's generations suffered to protect their progeny from the threats they saw in world War 2. We are already dead. Not, we will be dead. We're already dead. Not metaphorically but truly we are already zombie apocalypse . There is nothing left to save. So I will attempt to build life rafts for the one in a million downstream that is dying to have what we are dying from the lack of , the loving spirit, the soul. And if there are such life rafts, that one in a million, these we've condemned to the planet hell we've given them, will be more joyful and more alive, then we Walking Dead zombies of to day.

None of these are entirely new thoughts to me Jill, I've written and spoken of them for years. But I stood on my highest mountain top yet two days ago and hence I have a clarity I did not expect, I did not want, but Gandhi was correct, truth is the ruler, truth is the rules, inconvenient, unwanted, or not. I fight on the side of the ruler, because all hope is there. I pay any personal price I bear any inconvenience to see, add to fight alongside, those rules, that ruler, no matter what it costs me, no matter how inconvenient. That's the only way I can be a prayer for any of my next 200 billion children.

Personal note - please bear with my computer crippling. I have just minutes of experience with this little handheld Samsung.

***** 1 Sister J wrote: Please tell me, what do I say to all the college students...

Please tell me, what do I say to all the college students...as to your change on the death fast...because I spoke to many of them on Earth Day telling your story...tell me, what do I tell them, exactly in your words:)...

Sister J, I feel profound accountability to humanity every second of my life, and never more so than at times of my more extreme attempts to serve . You can almost assume that for myself I've already asked myself the questions that they may ask you. I have and I am. Therefore I'm encouraging you to start with my posts. I'm encouraging you to use them as a trusted starting point.

Sadly I'm computer crippled right now. I'm trying to make do with the little Android. But if you will seriously use my posts and then ask me specific questions, with great joy I'll move heaven and earth to reply.

But a few additional thoughts.

Only one who climbs the highest mountain can then see beyond it from the top. I did not expect to see what I saw from the top of the death fast, and I do not hold up to myself or to others that perfect is my vision. But I do experience it as my clearest vision so far.

I believe you'll see in my first post terminating the death fast that I could see nothing to save. And I gave maybe six brief examples of what I meant. I sent you to that post as profoundly central to your question.

Part of what I saw from that mountain top, from the arduous climb, was that we are too dead to stand with 1 millionth of the courage, strength, speed, personal sacrifice then it will obviously take to stop Ecoside in time, which means, now. I don't deal in absolute truth. This is not academic for me. This is family for me.

What I need is sufficient truth to stand on for the next moments of battle. No offense to anyone, including my clueless, insanely in denial - of all history, criminally so, McKibben. But the only person I see for years with the remotest idea of the price, the obvious price, of stopping ecoside, is Diane Wilson. And this is central to what I said in that first post. When a species can't begin to recognize danger and stand up it is already dead and there's nothing left to save.

2 final things from this computer cripple.

Death fast is the weapon, and the only weapon, capable of starting the fire in 2013. And if the fire doesn't start in 2013 it's too late.

1 old, weird, unknown, discredited guy, could only throw away his life better spent to try and create life boats for the future.

But the second that old guy saw 10 determined young people, determined to start the fire with death fast, I would join them that second if they wanted me.

If you find my posts worth reading seriously I'll consider it a sacred Honor to reply to your specific questions.

***** full loving is full success. Partial loving is Full failure. This truth has rocketed to profound centrality in my understanding of living ,helping , serving, psychological health.

* full loving is full success. Partial loving is Full failure. This truth has rocketed to profound centrality in my understanding of living, helping , serving, psychological health. Where is simply nothing else in our control. But we are such miraculous creatures that when as we are designed to do, we are purely and unconditionally loving, we are miraculous, unspeakably powerful, instruments of healing, creation, health.

For the price I, we, just paid...

I pray with all my heart that you follow my blog very very closely now. For the price I, we, just paid, I've been given much clearer vision as to what and where the fight is. If you have not, I fervently encourage you to subscribe to my blog. But it is up to you.

4.29.2013

For the price I, we, just paid...

I pray with all my heart that you follow my blog very very closely now. For the price I, we, just paid, I've been given much clearer vision as to what and where the fight is. If you have not, I fervently encourage you to subscribe to my blog. But it is up to you

For the next two to three weeks I'll be hobbled because the laptop will be in for repair. This is providential. I'll devote myself to study of the great practitioners of successfully converting others to the spirit of loving. Aside from Jesus, who has done it well? And even Jesus, how many converts? I'll have to study the best of the failures.

For the next two to three weeks I'll be hobbled because the laptop will be in for repair. This is providential. I'll devote myself to study of the great practitioners of successfully converting others to the spirit of loving. Aside from Jesus, who has done it well? And even Jesus, how many converts to pure loving ? I'll have to study the best of the failures.

I am much more deadly serious now than ever. The world situation is more dead serious then I realized. We have made ourselves into, with religious, capitalistic, fervor, radically malignant cancer to our brothers, sisters, and creation. Or as Native Americans have been saying since coming of the white man, ' cannibals of life' we have maniacally become.

I am much more deadly serious now than ever. The world situation is more dead serious then I realized. We have made ourselves into, with religious, capitalistic, clinically addicted, fervor - radically malignant cancer to our brothers, sisters, and creation. Or as Native Americans have been saying since coming of the white man, ' cannibals of life' we have maniacally become.

Who would say: let the dead bury the dead?!


General in battle would. A first responder in an emergency would. A loving parent fighting for the mental health of their child would. A brother desperately fighting to free his brother from addiction would. Jesus did. I do, now that I see the only salvation for some of those 200 billion we are condemning to ecoside is the psychological heaven of near pure loving.

Gandhi: learn as though you would live for ever. Live as though you would die tomorrow.

Gandhi: learn as though you would live for ever. Live as though you would die tomorrow.

4.28.2013

***** In terminating the death fast I have despair not joy.


I so wanted to believe that the future could be saved. I closed my ears to the greatest of all, Jesus. For so many years. The gate is narrow few will enter in.

He was not correct because he was Jesus he was correct because he was the greatest sear we've seen.

But he did not quit, but rather he fought for the individual revolution of loving. He found it worth one by one trying to save the one in a million from the hell of the fleshly life. I shall use every remaining breath to try and do the same.

I am tempted to feel like a failure. I am tempted to feel defeated.

But I am only defeated if I fail to face the truth.

I may want to save 200 billion, but if that's not possible yet I still try, then I failed the one, or two, or three who I might have saved by redirecting my efforts.

And this I believe I will do now.

Death fast terminated. I see nothing left to save..  

i dont see anything to save. our heartlesness? our fleshworship? our cruel rapatios plundering western culture? we walkjng dead flesheating zomdies? oh malala diane wilson.... imean ihave heakthy tissue in my body but should it be saved? no. more when i can get to a full keyboard. we are an unmitigated scurge blivht on creation. we laugh at repenting. gaia will exterminate us now and this is right and just.



4.25.2013

04.25.13 4:45pm - Off-line now. Goodbye. Loving

04.25.13 4:45pm - Off-line now.  Goodbye. Loving

Cooling on Warming. New York Times


Cooling on Warming
New York Times
At which point we will ask ourselves: What ever happened to worrying about global warming? You may remember what a big deal President Obama made about climate change in his Inaugural Address. It definitely looked as if the ozone layer was making a ...
See all stories on this topic »

New York Times

nd 'EDF D324/19/4 [This never occurred to me before] How many more need to suffer and die before others wake up and Stand for their Children, and Grandchildren? Ever see "High Noon," Gary Cooper?' Loving

nd 'EDF D324/19/4 [This never occurred to me before] How many more need to suffer and die before others wake up and Stand for their Children, and Grandchildren?  Ever see "High Noon," Gary Cooper?'  Loving

nd 'D324/20/4 Homeless Vet Last night: "I know you can't talk (vow)... We here on the street have huge respect for you. You Stand for Humanity, rather than live it up on some cushy job you could have running some company...' Loving (paraphrase)

nd 'D324/20/4 Homeless Vet Last night: "I know you can't talk (vow)... We here on the street have huge respect for you. You Stand for Humanity, rather than live it up on some cushy job you could have running some company...' Loving (paraphrase)

Climate denial is greatest threat to the economy. phillyBurbs.com

Climate denial is greatest threat to the economy

phillyBurbs.com - ‎9 hours ago‎
The 2006 Stern Review, the first thorough study on the economics of climate change, had this to say: “The benefits of strong, early action considerably outweigh the costs ... Each tonne (metric ton) of CO2 we emit causes damages worth at least $85, but ...

Final vlog [going Internet Dark today] When Understood - ULTIMATE Compass - Lord's Prayer

4.24.2013

nd 'Wed 04.24.13 D323/18/3 I expect tomorrow, till 4:30pm will be my last moments online. The fighting needed of me there is done. It is all Prayer, work of the Soul, now. Time for others to be using the internet and solar weapons I've used.' Loving

nd 'Wed 04.24.13 D323/18/3 I expect tomorrow, till 4:30pm will be my last moments online. The fighting needed of me there is done. It is all Prayer, work of the Soul, now.  Time for others to be using the internet and solar weapons I've used.' Loving

nd 'NOTICE: D323/18/3: Unexpected, unfinished 'business' necessitated that I take minimal calories and liquids over the last week - resolving issues so valued co-warriors and friends would not be burdened. Hence, I've severely revised my start dates and revisions conservatively - see clock at left.' Loving

nd 'NOTICE: Unexpected, unfinished 'business' necessitated that I take minimal calories and liquids over the last week - resolving issues so valued co-warriors and friends would not be burdened. Hence, I've severely revised my start dates and revisions conservatively - see clock at left.' Loving

"This man [Loving] will be missed... Why do the good ones have to go early? (my reply...)

EDF From an acquaintance on FB, who has been kind to me. My reply:

"All evidence to the contrary. I have been completely and totally dis-missed - no impact of any consequence on anyone or anything. 

 That isn't my business. Making the attempt has been my business, and Creation knows I've given it my best and done one hell of a job. 

However, I've done it in the equivalent of a grave yard, a sobriety counselor in a bar, a heart surgeon in a morgue. No, I will NOT be missed, as in life I was totally DIS-missed. Fact. I am not bitter about it. I've done my part. 

 But that's the fact."

nd 04.24.13 'D324/18/3 I'm in Very Good Shape today. I've moved into my final phase, psychologically and mentally, 'letting go' of final details, while still managing them. It is all good. I was drowning in taking on more than I can handle. Today, just right.' Loving

nd 'D324/18/3 I'm in Very Good Shape today.  I've moved into my final phase, psychologically and mentally, 'letting go' of final details, while still managing them. It is all good. I was drowning in taking on more than I can handle.  Today, just right.' Loving

4.23.2013

***** D323/18/3 'NO ALARM folks, just a head's up - I don't know how gracefully (not very) I'll shut down by Thursday... (detail)

D323/18/3 'NO ALARM folks, just a head's up - I don't know how gracefully (not very) I'll shut down by Thursday, or tomorrow...

I just spoke to a couple that approached, broke the vow thoughtlessly, of silence - no biggie, but is a lapse that points to something bigger - I'm losing it - too much going on, I'm taking on too much logistically - have to let things go, so I can do the part that only I'm called to begin, now.

For Gandhi, fast, hunger strike, was itself a full time challenge - I'm better than He?  I wish.

[Warning - wordy, very hastily worded, error prone post following - see my point?  I'm way too stretched now....]

I'm still ok physically, and mentally, and Spiritually, but I'm wearing down,

and the BIG THING, I can't keep stretching between the two worlds -

The world of active living, creating, doing, blogging, uploading, posting, problem-solving (distributing my few posessions, tools, to the few warriors I see, and some true personal Friends) - and the Spiritual World and Work of Soul Force.

I can't stretch that far any longer.  I must move into the final phase, and stop trying to do both - on to full-time Soul Force, mine, then to the Soul of others.

And, I can move on, and I will.  If others step up just a little, it will work.  I Love them either way.  I've worked really hard to do every detail I could.  You are never obligated by anything I do, but I will leave a vacuum, and I could leave a mess, but I've tried hard to make it as easy, neat and clean on those that remain, as I can. I've done my best, but I have to move to the final phase now.

There is a small circle that kindly will collect my few belongings, bequeathals, mostly tomorrow afternoon.  I've had a repair situation with Dell, complicated, and that is close to resolved, but not quite.  A small circle can coordinate, jump in and make it all happen, if they want.  But pretty soon, hours now,, I just can't any more, regardless of what happens.  I can't.  Too much for me now.  I have a different job, specific mission, that is demanding everything I am, everything I have to give, to do well, effectively, with Promise and Hope.

What am I saying?  I can feel myself letting go of the 'normal' world, not in a destructive way - just physical and mental limits - secondarily as I degrade under the net-zero cal, fluids intake deficits, more so as I move to the biggest Spiritual Operation I've ever attempted, and frankly (you get to howl with laughter), the most important, biggest, most consequential Spiritual Operation undertaken since, well Jesus.

Yes, He was who He is, and I'm not.  But that doesn't change the need.  The need, well, He saw where we'd be, at the edge of the cliff, in 2000 YEARS, if we didn't awaken and put back in charge, our Soul.

OK, but I see that we now have 2000 HOURS, maybe, to awaken the Soul, the cold, dead, massively in affloholic denial Soul of enough American's - first a few pioneers, but then quickly some decent folks in the center, to radically stand, giving Pr. Obama the spark plug he REQUIRES to not only do his part, but more importantly, for it to prevail and survive through the mid-term elections, and 2016.

It is entirely doable, and NO ONE, VIRTUALLY NO ONE IS WAKING UP TO THE TOTAL LIFE DEDICATION, TOTAL PAYING THE PRICE, A HANDFUL OF US MUST DO, CAN DO, SHOULD YYYEEEAAARRRRNNNN TO DO, NOW.

No credit to me, I see it, I want it, more than my own life, 200 billion times, but Now I have to give just the Dying-for-it stage all of my attention to be the Soul Force that all Hope depends on.

Try to forgive me, or at least understand, my limits.  Please.

nd 'Thursday afternoon I expect to be leaving the cyber world for Good. No more need of computer or solar power, and quickly losing ability to physically deal with them. Time for Prayer, Meditation, Study, Dying to Awaken the Soul of Humanity... BEING a Prayer for the Soul of Humanity. What we ALL need to be, NOW.' Loving

nd 'Thursday afternoon I expect to be leaving the cyber world for Good.  No more need of computer or solar power, and quickly losing ability to physically deal with them. Time for Prayer, Meditation, Study, Dying to Awaken the Soul of Humanity... BEING a Prayer for the Soul of Humanity.  What we ALL need to be, NOW.' Loving

nd 'From my Cree Sister, Blueskywoman: "I want you to know something, from that day I seen you on that street, I knew you were real , a warrior of the Rainbow Warrior- a warrior of God." I Pray, for our sake, she is correct.' Loving

nd 'From my Cree Sister, Blueskywoman: "I want you to know something, from that day I seen you on that street, I knew you were real , a warrior of the Rainbow Warrior- a warrior of God." I Pray, for our sake, she is correct.' Loving

DAMN. FBI TOP 10 - I SPOKE WITH HIM MANY, MANY, MANY HOURS, AT WH VIGIL -

Nicaragua nabs US most-wanted child porn suspect

Yes, I knew NOTHING of his background.  Nothing.  

Brilliant, many gifts of the spirit, deeply mentally troubled - to not be so in this society is clinically crazy.