GWDF2 D11b 'Fact: Death and worse, Living Hell, are all to us that aren't waging all-out war for our survival, we next....

'Fact: Death and worse, Living Hell, are all to us that aren't waging all-out war for our survival, we next 200 billion children, Bangladeshis, Maldivians, Athabascans, Indigenous Alaskans....' Loving Bangladeshis-Next 200 billion-Athabascans...

nd GWDF2 For many years I expected to be killed by prison or institutionalization. Looking like the latter, sooner, or later.

nd GWDF2 For many years I expected to be killed by prison or institutionalization.  Looking like the latter, sooner, or later.

GWDF2 D11b It's the Trumann Show for we Bangladeshis, Indigenous Alaskans, 200 billion kids.... We haven't a friend in the world

http://youtu.be/VkR_FJoXVas

Rough transcript, with corrections and additions:

GWDF2 D11b It's the Trumann Show for we Bangladeshis, Indigenous Alaskans, 200 billion kids.... We haven't a friend in the world.

Yes, exceptions include Diane Wilson, Liz Hourican, Daniel McGowan, Tim DeChristopher, WV Tree Sitters, Sea Shepherds, the 1% of Greenpeace that the rest live off of....  Oh, and Jim Hansen, boarderline, but he's in.  Hmmm.  Let's say there are another 100, none of whom I know, cuz I've just named all the ones I know, or know of.  That's about 34 people out of 7 billion.  The exception proves the existence of the rule.

Yesterday was a very important day for us; clarifying in a devastatingly important way.  There are many movies that have each of them revealed a piece of reality to us that have been spoken of here.  One that's never been spoken of, and never has been deeply thought of by us, is the Jim Carey movie where it turns out that from birth he was the captive of a television program. 

But, writ large he was a captive of the status quo.  Everyone was enormously pleasant.  Do you remember.  They were enormously pleasant to him.  They were his friends, right?  They thought they were his friends, until he began to wake up to what was going on and began to reject the status quo.  At that point all of them but one learned that they were not really his friend.  They were friend only to themselves and to their status quo.  That’s not demeaning.  You can take issue with what I said, but you should do so on the merits. 

Clearly they learned, as did he, they weren’t his friends.  They were friends to themselves and to the status quo.  This is not a slander.  It is an observation.

Well, it's only a movie.  Come on, please.  Our art, great and mediocre, is our window on ourselves.  We can't be selective about that.  Oh, we can be.  Intellectually, with intellectual honesty, we can't be selective about that.  We didn’t run howling from the theater about that, ‘Oh, what an absurdity.  This is so silly!’  No, we were glued to it because we sensed the truth of that.

But only this morning does it come into my mind – we’ve harbored the illusion, I, and Start Loving Bangladeshis Maldivians, Athabascans Indigenous Alaskans next 200 billion children.  That's my name now.  That's how I identify myself.  That's what I identify myself with.  We harbored the illusion we had friends. 

And I, this cell of my larger body here, I do have friends – Cathy, Start Caring, and members of Start Caring’s clan. 

But we, we haven’t a friend in the world.  We have lots of smiling faces.  We have a city here in DC full of people weeping crocodile tears over the horrors that will befall us, and that do things that have some remote possibility of helping us, microscopically - when it's convenient for them, and when their sponsors approve, and when it's within a risk factor, at a cost factor that they're comfortable with, oh, the wright from their comfortable offices, and they blog to the adulation of their equally impotent, if smiling friends….

But, are they our friends?  We're dying.  The world is at war on us.  War does not require forethought. War does not require malice.  The world is at war on us.  The world is destroying us.  Utterly, truly destroying us. 

It's no less deadly in the malice, or intent. It's no less deadly, it's no less cruel.  It's no less torturous.  Maybe more so because there's no justice.  And there is less hope of stopping it because it's unseen, it's normal - status quo; it is the way things are - right center and left. It’s us.

What a huge gift yesterday was.  Sweet, dear Dr. Cardile who may not have been involved in this at all - in this specific event where two city of DC psychologists come to interview me yesterday.  Nice people themselves.  Smiling, pleasant, genuine nice intentions in their heart.  But what we had been seeing is, they’re not our friends; they’re the friends of the status quo.  That doesn't say they’re mean.  It doesn't say there've of mal intent, it doesn't say the manipulative. They’re hypocrites.  That’s a diagnosis; that was Jesus number one diagnosis for us - the one that concerned him the most.  Hypocrisy is when one lies to oneself first.  And they lie to themselves first; they say to themselves they care about Loving.

Well in that Jim Carey movie - all the people around him cared about him; until the situation was such that they needed to make a choice between him and the comfort of their own deadly status quo, and it was no choice.  That’s not a friend.  That’s not a slander, to those people in the movie, or in my life; or in our life.  At some level they have a right to choose who will be their friends; who they will ally with.  And I certainly have the right and the duty, according to people like Jesus, to discern between who is truly a friend and who's not. 

And we don't have a friend in the world.  The dark skinned people in this country back in and before the 1960s, 1950s… didn’t have a friend in the world.  Oh, they had lots of people that were nice to them, some horrible, but many were nice to them, including the plantation owners, the slave masters.  But they didn't have a friend in the world.  Young Egyptians up until two years ago didn't have a friend in the world.  The women without the right to vote in this country until roughly 1918 didn't have a friend in the world. 

All of these groups had ‘potential’ friends, by the thousands, millions, billions in some cases.  But they weren’t friends of the until those who were the least of these began to be friends to themselves, and to stand up unviolently, in the most powerful cases.  Young people in Egypt beginning to stand up for themselves.  The individual dark skinned people in the 20s, 30s, 40s… beginning to stand up for themselves - simply to be what a human being should be, and being willing to pay the price for and paying the price for that.  Alice Paul and her sisters standing up for themselves, willing to pay the price for doing so.  At that time, people that had been friends in name only, some began to learn they were true friends; some began to become true friends.

The Indigenous Americans in this country have been rolling over and dying without any form of significant resistance, of hopeful resistance, for hundreds of years.  For all i know same with the Bangladeshis, same with the Maldivians. 

Same with the children of today under the age of 16 or so.  Their older brothers and sisters aren’t standing up for them against environmental Armageddon. (Uh, no.  Standing up looks like Tahrir Square, Tiennamen Square, the Freedom Riders, my father’s generation in WWII….).  Their mothers fathers aren’t standing up for them. They don't have a friend in the world.

God knows the bloggers and auth-whores in the so called environmental movement, they’re not standing up for them.  They’re living off of them.  This is not a slander.  It's not mean.  It doesn't accuse of forethought.  They don't have bloody fangs. But, they’re parasites. They’re not putting their body in the way for these people.  They’re living off of them; are making a living off of them.  If we if we extend out the trend lines 10,000 years they will have done not a lick of good for the next hundred billion children, we Maldivians, we Bangladeshis, Athabascans, Indigenous Alaskans. 

We have not a friend in the world. 

And until we start standing up and paying the price for ourselves, this not going to change.

And if we do it, it will start to change.  And onlookers, one by one, with start to become True friends

Let it begin with me.

 

GWDF2 D29a Updated handout

GWDF2 D11a 'Last Will - Everything in my posession is Cathy McGinley's...

GWDF D11a 'Last Will - Everything in my possession is my beloved Cathy McGinley's... and will be so marked tonight or tomorrow.  She is to do with it what she sees fit, most likely liquidating on EBay and dispensing the funds according to her wishes, if and when the time comes that I either no longer need, 6-8 weeks from now when expect there no longer to be calories sufficient to prolong my life,  or the goods are removed from me if you institutionalize me, or the like.

GWDF2 D11a Is it to be living death for me in a mental ward?

It would be 1 million times worse for me than dying here in front of the Embassy, but it would serve the cause just as well.  Except to store clerks, I suspect I've spoken my last words, and written my last personal good-bye's and correspondence now, whether I perish here in front of the Embassy, or decades from now having been force-fed for decades in an institution.  Yes, either would serve my Life, my next 200 billion children.  Not my business which. 

UPDATE: GWDF2 D11a Ominous? 2 City Psychologists came and interviewed me today.

GWDF D11a 2 Ominous? City Psychologists came and interviewed me today.

Note:  For all other and upcoming Global Warming's Death Fast posts, see tab, above, or check back at Global Warming's Death Fast posts.  I no longer expect to issue any outbound email / updates.  Only additional posts, here.  The time to divert ourselves, to cower behind our deadly 'talking,' reading, dialogs... to avoid Facing what needs to be 'Faced,' and 'Seen,' and Run TOWARD, the Truth of Environmental Armageddon (not Loving's Truth, the scientific and economic Truth) are gone.  I'll not enable this deadly, Deathly Cowardice any longer.  I've just updated my 'vacation' response on email, sic, to this effect.

One I've been acquainted with for 3-4 years, the other not till today.  They are nice folks.  I think their interest is human, but I also think their interest is 'professional,' well, that's their 'job,' but do they understand their job as did Alfred Adler, or Nurse Ratched; as does every medical and psychological association's charter, or the APA' charter and core (they're the ones that at the highest level approved and developed the Bush/Cheney Torture Protocols); as did Morpheus, or Smith; as did Alice Paul, or the bulk of the women''s suffragists; as did Diane Nash/Core/Freedom Riders or MLK Jr and the rest of the civil rights movement of 1961 - entirely opposite?

I suspect they were sent by my beloved doc Cardile, which makes me a little sad, tho maybe by protocol she has little professional choice.

In our long conversation in which I was completely open, as I hope they were, one appropriately mentioned that some could view what I'm doing as crazy, and have me committed (she wasn't quite that blunt) to which I replied - 'I see the most likely end to what I'm doing as being lifelong committed to a torturous institutionalization, a hideous living death in St. Elizabeth's Mental Hospital, tho I'd infinitely rather be dead.'  (Hmmm.  That's how the USSR handled (handles?) things, thinking themselves right, and righteous, and 'sane.')

Interesting.

Not my business what others do.  Just my business what I do.

I wonder who, if anyone, would come to the defense of my sanity?  Uh, besides me, I mean, and Adler and Frankl, Biko, Jagerstadder, King, Gandhi, Paul, Nash, Corrie, Jesus...?   Doubtful.

"We need to stop Talking, stop Thinking, and Start Loving."  Within days of this occurring to me one cold, February morning in 2007 or so, as I deeply pondered how we could do NOTHING of promise to stop the Darfur Genocide, within days the first cross was on my forehead - 'Start Loving.'  The Heart, Loving, Uses EVERY NEURON! But the Head and the Flesh in charge, the alternative, uses Talking and "Thinking" to defuse, to displace, the Creative Tension within ourselves that Dr. King saw as the sum and substance of all sufficient Motivation, quite rightly.

I expect from this moment forward to increase many fold my resolve to discuss, to talk about, to dialog about what I am doing no further, as was my stated resolve since the beginning of this Death Fast.  For those today, or in the future, that wish to understand what I am doing and why, tho it is obvous to anyone and everyone's never visited Soul, I have done, and will continue to leave adequate logs.  But for everyone else, that wants to 'talk' and 'think' about what I am doing, rather than 'Seeing it' for what it obviously is, I intend to quadruple my resolve to stop depriving you of that opportunity.  I'm a Bangladeshi, a Maldivian... one of the last canaries in the Coal mine called earth in which you all live - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sxc2-Do7BU

GWDF2 D11a Ominous? 2 City Psychologists came and interviewed me today.

GWDF D11a Ominous? 2 City Psychologists came and interviewed me today.  UPDATED here - http://jesusgodgoodetcnjay.blogspot.com/2012/08/update-gwdf-d11a-2-ominous-city.html

One I've been acquainted with for 3-4 years, the other not till today.  They are nice folks.  I think their interest is human, but I also think their interest is 'professional,' well, that's their 'job,' but do they understand their job as did Alfred Adler, or Nurse Ratched; as does every medical and psychological association's charter, or the APA' charter and core (they're the ones that at the highest level approved and developed the Bush/Cheney Torture Protocols); as did Morpheus, or Smith; as did Alice Paul, or the bulk of the women''s suffragists; as did Diane Nash/Core/Freedom Riders or MLK Jr and the rest of the civil rights movement of 1961 - entirely opposite?

I suspect they were sent by my beloved doc Cardile, which makes me a little sad, tho maybe by protocol she has little professional choice.

In our long conversation in which I was completely open, as I hope they were, one appropriately mentioned that some could view what I'm doing as crazy, and have me committed (she wasn't quite that blunt) to which I replied - 'I see the most likely end to what I'm doing as being lifelong committed to a torturous institutionalization, a hideous living death in St. Elizabeth's Mental Hospital, tho I'd infinitely rather be dead.'  (Hmmm.  That's how the USSR handled (handles?) things, thinking themselves right, and righteous, and 'sane.')

Interesting.

Not my business what others do.  Just my business what I do.

I wonder who, if anyone, would come to the defense of my sanity?  Uh, besides me, I mean, and Adler and Frankl, Biko, Jagerstadder, King, Gandhi, Paul, Nash, Corrie, Jesus...?   Doubtful.

"We need to stop Talking, stop Thinking, and Start Loving."  Within days of this occurring to me one cold, February morning in 2007 or so, as I deeply pondered how we could do NOTHING of promise to stop the Darfur Genocide, within days the first cross was on my forehead - 'Start Loving.'  The Heart, Loving, Uses EVERY NEURON! But the Head and the Flesh in charge, the alternative, uses Talking and "Thinking" to defuse, to displace, the Creative Tension within ourselves that Dr. King saw as the sum and substance of all sufficient Motivation, quite rightly.

I expect from this moment forward to increase many fold my resolve to discuss, to talk about, to dialog about what I am doing no further, as was my stated resolve since the beginning of this Death Fast.  For those today, or in the future, that wish to understand what I am doing and why, tho it is obvous to anyone and everyone's never visited Soul, I have done, and will continue to leave adequate logs.  But for everyone else, that wants to 'talk' and 'think' about what I am doing, rather than 'Seeing it' for what it obviously is, I intend to quadruple my resolve to stop depriving you of that opportunity.  I'm a Bangladeshi, a Maldivian... one of the last canaries in the Coal mine called earth in which you all live - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sxc2-Do7BU

GWDF2 D12a Docs agree to keep me pain free 8 more weeks

Saw my beloved doc Cardile this morning.  Amazing.  Wants me to get the colonoscopy and down the throat exam, but accepts that I won't.  Understands I just want to be kept functional for the next 4-8 weeks.  Is tripling down on the acid reducers - going to 2 doses of prilosec per day vs 1 and adding 2 daily doses of zantec.  Wants me back in immediately if things flare badly again, or to see me in a week of they stabilize.

Slept WELL last night, and only mild pain today.

GWDF2 D11A ER Doc guesses ulcers. Meds proscribed.

Basically, they poked, prodded, IV'd and did more tests.  Very impressive operation.  If 'activists,' the so called 'progressives,' demonstrated .0001% the professionalism, commitment, seriousness of purpose, discipline as the young folks in the ER, everyone would have a future worth living.

The blood tests, and other tests, were inconclusive.

ER doc guesses ulcer, with pain referred to rest of abdomen. Wants me to get a colonoscopy and the other one, thru the mouth to see the stomach.  Gave me ulcer meds 4 times per day.

I see my home doc, Cardile, tomorrow at 8:30.

I expect to decline the tests.

What I want is the least expensive way to manage pain for the next 4-6 weeks.

Finishing out the writing I'm doing and then the rest of the death fast is 99.99999% mental, and I just don't want to lose all this time, energy, and effectiveness to the hours per day of pain.  Like, uh, NOW.  DAMN!

GWDF2 D11B On the way to Emergency Room. Stomach took extreme turn for worse

Since 4am the emergency room was much on my mind - the worst flareup yet of my stomach issues of the last 10 months. Instead I went to CCNV Unity Heath Care where my beloved doc Cardile is and she said, 'We're sending you to emergency.  I'll be at GW hospital within minutes.

nd GWDF2 D11A Stomach pain much better today. Tomorrow?

nd GWDF D11A Stomach pain much better today. Tomorrow?

GWDF2 D10A Debilitated with Pain again today. Bk 3 -

Sleep, thank goodness, so far is relatively painless.

When I awake I have 2-300 of my daily 800 calories, partly, so I can take the Prilosec and Iron without too much pain.  Uh, not today.  For the last 3 hours it is all I can do to try and doze and deal with the stomach pain.  :-(  So much work time being lost.

If this continues, Monday I'll seek an appointment with the doctor for pain management.

Those hours that I can work I'm compiling, "Your next 200 billion kids are on planet Hell unless now.... The Words of James Hansen, Lester Brown, Joe Romm, Michael  Mann, IEA, IPCC...."

nd GWDF2 D9B Pr. #1: Compiling the Essential Hansen, Brown, Romm, McKibben. Daily Headline Posting on HOLD.

nd GWDF D9B Pr. #1: Compiling the Essential Hansen, Brown, Romm, McKibben. Daily Headline Posting on HOLD. 

nd GWDF2 D9A Stomach Pain Much Less today. Work proceeding

nd GWDF D9A Stomach Pain Much Less today.  Work proceeding

nd GWDF2 D8B Stomach Pain Largely gone last 4 hours

nd GWDF D8B Stomach Pain Largely gone last 4 hours

GWDF2 D8B Severe stomach pain 2nd day

My concern is the distraction from work.  Today, I'm managing to keep working, pretty well.

My dear doc Cardile had proscribed prilosec several weeks ago.  I took it for about 4 days and stopped because it seemed to bring on the ache.  It is supposed to de-inflame the stomach lining.  Starting this morning I'm trying it again.   It can take up to 4 days if it is going to work.

Late this week or early next I expect to see the doc again if this continues.

GWDF2 D8A Back on post. Debilitated by stomach pain. :-(

GWDF D8A Back on post.  Debilitated by stomach pain.  :-(

Uneventful return trip, except my stomach hurt so bad I couldn't work, only try to rest, and that has continued the several hours I've been back.  Was it the rocking of the bus?  Progression of whatever I've got?  Too much exertion?  I'll watch it tonight, tomorrow... if this continues I may reconsider the tests, cuz I can't work, I can't concentrate with this pain.  Wimp!

Mercifully, all of the stuff I left under a bench was there undisturbed, except for some work by rats, the four legged kind.

That's all for now.  Got to go back to resting and trying to deal with this stomach pain.

GWDF2 D7B Slept 17 hours today. Silence? Privacy? I'd forgotton. Seems my Body hadn't forgotten.

I had no idea my body was so exhausted - between living in a fishbowl on the streets for 1/3 of a year now, the internal bleeding, anemia, years for to-death's door hunger strikes, half rations now, not an hour's break in so many years I can't remember (how I Love it)...

Slept 12 hours yesterday, and 17 hours deep rest last night.  Little other work completed these two days besides telling some folks that have been rocks, angels in my life that I Love them, and repacking, shedding a bunch of stuff for beloved friends to store and eventually disperse.

My bus back to the Canadian Embassy leaves at 9:50am.  I can hardly wait to get back in the fight.

800 calorie per day slow-death-fast continued. Losing about 1/4 to 1/2 pound per day from 164 lbs on 8/8, the day before Nagasaki.

It remains to be seen how many of my belongings are left.  Megabus has a 50lb weight limit that I exceeded mightily but had to leave 2/3 of my belonging's under a bench. If I were black, and a con, they'd be fine.  But I'm not.  We'll see.  May have to re-create the signs, do without sleeping bags, etc.

nd GWDF2 D6B Going to Phila to Say Goodby to Dearest Friends - 4 days - back Tuesday.

nd GWDF D6A Going to Phila to Say Goodby to Dearest Friends - 4 days - back Tuesday.