Well, I've come too close to killing us both, me in the cold and travels, this heroic parent with unbelievable courage and stamina, with all my online incessant inquiries and chatter , in hindsight, draining hours per day of time that wasn't there to give.
I knew how much demands of time I was making, though not demanding it of course. But allowing it and being the instigator. I knew it, I often commented on it. But 1 person that didn't seem to really grasp it, was James. With all the right intentions, being as prepared as possible, using his time as well as possible while he was traveling for informed study, that's what he was trying to do.
But at what cost? So James is traveling for a month 1100 miles, and then in a freezing cold garage for two weeks in quarantine, so that he can get in and help someone trying to keep them self and their kids alive on a raft in the winter covid storm. And for hours a day James causes this individual to be distracted and equip and train him to help? What the f***?
Yes, only last night did this come together in James mind. With horror. And grief.
But that can't be undone.
What might be done, if he is allowed the opportunity, the sacred privilege, is to become a family member, a devoted grandfather I think is the best model in his mind so far, or maybe Mrs Doubtfire, to this saintly parent, and the two boys. It's possible that within moments or hours we'll find out that he's totally not right for the job. It might be that fairly rapidly, and looking back a long time from now, we'll find that James, grandfather James, this is Doubtfire, was.
Wish us luck. We need it.
Oh, and if by any chance this mission is new to you, this new manifestation of James 20 year long, lifelong adult admission, if it is unclear to you, probably the most recent 6 posts or so on this blog talk about it. You probably know how to find the home of the blog listing the posts but if not click on the graphic at the very top.