nd. I'm really struggling, physically, mentally. I feel like I'm drowning in the world's evil. I am being drowned by the world's evil, by Amerikkka's evil, by the Zionist's evil. I was born and raised in a materially over-protected, idyllic bubble - anyone would envy it. I would not trade one second of my life now, for then. I think that is surprising. Prefer drowning? I would not trade one second of now, for then. I'm aware that I don't like living; I dislike being alive in these times. But what bothers me is for the last 4 weeks since the last operation... I'm between shallow and deep depression... and functioning at a very low level in terms of fighting the evil. I have so little strength, physically, and emotionally. This will pass. I think it is part of the work... allowing one to be broken by the evil... periodically... regularly... to emerge repaired, more capable, wiser, more able. I hope this phase passes soon. Writing about it, sharing it, is part of the healing and growth process.

I'm really struggling, physically, mentally. I feel like I'm drowning in the world's evil.  I am being drowned by the world's evil, by Amerikkka's evil, by the Zionist's evil.  I was born and raised in a materially over-protected, idyllic bubble - anyone would envy it.  I would not trade one second of my life now, for then.  I think that is surprising. Prefer drowning?  I would not trade one second of now, for then.  I'm aware that I don't like living; I dislike being alive in these times. But what bothers me is for the last 4 weeks since the last operation... I'm between shallow and deep depression... and functioning at a very low level in terms of fighting the evil.  I have so little strength, physically, and emotionally.  This will pass.  I think it is part of the work... allowing one to be broken by the evil... periodically... regularly... to emerge repaired, more capable, wiser, more able.  I hope this phase passes soon.   Writing about it, sharing it, is part of the healing and growth process.