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JAMES' PERSONAL WRITINGS: SLOVING
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11.27.2019

Part two. James shock at how few people and things James is thankful for. A bit of clarification.

Note. What James is reporting here is not what he thought he would find, not what he necessarily prefers in his mind. But what he found and he is not dissatisfied with what he found. Upon asking him self the question, James, what are you thankful for that would disappear from the past or present if you did not bring thanks for this  to consciousness? 

As expressed yesterday James was shocked to find how few things and people. Is this some of it a matter of mood? He doesn't think so but he is concerned and will continue to look at that. 

 Shocked he was and is and disturbed at how few people ever in his life he is thankful for. Many acts of periodic kindness from many individuals he is thankful for that he has received directly and just as grateful or a more For acts of kindness he has witnessed from People toward others, though they be people that he is not grateful for being in his life. 

 And things, let's say a donation that someone made or might make in the future to James work, rare, but it has happens.   His immediate inclination to be grateful for that his soul said no. That is stuff. And James immediately recognize that the soul was correct. Goodness in the world is what James is grateful for. That is the common theme that he finds within himself. What is beyond his control or anyone else's, No, got to be thankful for  acknowledg? That's fine. Briefly enjoyed? That's fine. But thankful for? No. 

James shock, continued. And some substantial amount of this what seems to James as self discipline, though not uncomfortable. But surprising. Difficult but joyful sense of duty. James, how can you be so selfish as to allow yourself to be grateful for individuals in your life That on occasion do really nice things? How can you encourage that behavior? How can you be so selfish as to send, to continue to send, such confusing signals? To indulge your desire to be thankful for individuals When in fact the vast majority of their behavior Is self serving despite how it might seem otherwise to them and you James. Not of their soul in charge, but seeking pleasure even if Mutual of head and flesy. Therefore you encourage them to continue to starve themselves for real joy. How can you do that James? And it seems that maybe he Is becoming good enough that he can't regardless of what personal price he might pay for that. 

11.26.2019

How to live a radically more good life for the joy of it? What I owe every future creature. What you owe every future creature.

The nature of the effort I continue to pursue with pretty much every waking breath. Doing as much good as I know how to attempt for the joy of it. But the particulars of it, including and maybe especially extracting from all the harmful harm from participating in the cancer that is our economic way of life he has infinitely more to learn and do. And the few  he has from time to time to contemplate what he does if he survives this current 48 states Mission attempt, this is what comes to mind.

The Silver Bullet? Roiling rolling boiler 1 inch at the perineum.

Three or four weeks ago discovery of the perineum as the center of operations produced days of Miracle performance, seeming miracle. And then it was lost.
Embracing the inevitability of lack of control, chaos, boiler, seems to have been Central to its recovery. When the counter-cyclical Rolling roiling boiler ideas brought to mind the prevailing inclination is to try and think it into existence and that typically begins as far out as the midpoint or Beyond at the thighs. And usually that only succeed in long and sometimes very prolonged establishment of true roiling boiler. In today's short Voyage what seems far more promising was looking on the perineum and with no more than one inch of the perineum to immediately feel the counter-cyclical roiling rolling boiler. Very promising.

The will to feal significant is virtually inescapable. And if violence, guns, loud engines, vile hate speech and actions, destruction of that which is good, are the only way known....

Nearly ever-present is the horrible hateful violent Muffler unrestricted ear blasting noise of pickup trucks awesome directed directly at this vehicle. And or the horrible so-called music lasted so anyone within a quarter of a mile will have it inflicted on them. But in a society where there are almost no constructive ways for people, four people, young people, to have any sense of personal power, control over their environment, participation, these destructive ways are inevitable. So it's like Jesus and Confucius tried to tell us a thousands of years ago, create really really really good people which means create really really healthy environment, or there will be hell to pay.

I was shocked at how few things and people I'm thankful for.

As a matter of personal responsibility I found it necessary this time of year to inquire of myself what and who I'm thankful for. In a way it may be the first time I've done this. Or maybe the first time I've done this with what I think I've learned in life.
It was shocking and a bit alarming the few

Day of rest Sheltering from the rain, holiday traffic. Another short day planned for tomorrow.


No short-term plans do I have. Last night I began contemplating Methods of suicide. Vs years in right wing fascist torture cells.


11.24.2019

Ma'am, pleasure and happiness don't do it for me anymore. They never did but I didn't understand.


Several days ago on a low traffic highway, wide shoulders, Very cold and rainy. James very wet, ahead of him pulled a brightly and attractively  Decorated small car. Reasonably current. And respectfully but annoyingly stopped 30 yd ahead of saul on an slight uphill grade. Yes, the usual reaction by James was annoyance. But quickly it fled. James pulled ahead of the vehicle probably concerning the individual who stopped that he was going to go by. Rather he just thought it bad process to allow slow saul to get stopped behind another vehicle. Potential danger. James stopped the vehicle and after a 15 seconds of shuffling around on the dashboard out stepped a Mid thirties female.

We had the most Pleasant Exchange. I don't know why I stopped you, she said. I don't know why I'm doing this mission, James replied. I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing, James replied with an honest smile. This is how it is when we have the soul in charge.

 I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm very tired, I'm frightened, but I just can't sit and watch while americae destroys children whose skin is not white like mine and eyes are not blue like mine because they're desperate for safety from the countries of theirs that we have destroyed. 

 Her body language indicated profound empathy. It is escaping James at the moment from this encounter of several days ago what prompted him to reflect in reply, Joy is what I do this for. Happiness, pleasure, warmth, safety, are in the other direction. Many decades I tried it. It doesn't do it for me. It never did. But the courage of my convictions I did not have until about 20 years ago and have ever since for the joy of it. If the best I can do is try and awaken one other soul in whatever days I'm given Then that's what I'll do, for the joy that making the attempt to gives me, each breath. You have stirred mine, she replied obviously meaning it and very glad of it.

A backlog of roughly 35 posts that have yet to be transcribed and uploaded.


Regarding giving thanks, I never really got it, until last year I thought, what if I lost everything I don't say thanks for?


11.20.2019

Dangerous ride tonight. Arrival by 8:30 if we are lucky.


Nitriding is not recommended, poor visibility. But we've got mechanical problems. The rear Rim blew another tube. Ruined another tire. A bike shop in Memphis a hundred miles ahead Will Repair it on Friday or Saturday if necessary. Pressing ahead.

A large working-class man walked past my table and the check disappeared without a word.

This as James grabbed a quick lunch at the World Class $7 Asian buffet he passed unexpectedly today.
James got up and walked to the cashier counter where the man stood and James offered his hand which the man took. Bless your soul James said. Thank you for what you're doing the man said.

Interesting developments. Scrambling gently with the miniscus of the knee. Or whatever that soft part is called.


Not a badd start today and not great. But not bad. Scrambling was immediately in mind and not rebellion but some difficulty in finding it. 

Item. The up stroke of the scrambling was forgotten for many many minutes. So the scrambling only barely occurred. When the up stroke of each scramble attempt was brought to mind that helped quite a bit. 

Item. Most useful developments came in stages over the course of about the 2nd 45 minutes of the journey. 

 Among the benefits it after a while caused the body to realize that reclining the shoulders way back helps lift the center of this natural scrambling motion up to a midpoint which is far more sustainable and less asymmetric. 

The word struggle and stirring try to intrude and displace scramble and James is resisting this. scramble seems to much more aptly hold on to the ideal of something chaotic but wonderful. And it suggests to James nervous system the advantages of a rapid action as opposed to slower. 

Having said that this stirring with the manicis seems to be sustainable at less then extremely high rpm which is a nice option. 

At least so far today James is attempting to not overstress things. It does not seem like there is a lot of stress or even much stress on the muniscus and the notion of using them to scramble causes a centering by keeping thighs  within boundaries as opposed to reaching out and bumping up clumsily against those boundaries. 

Yes time will telk on all of this. but it certainly seems encouraging in light of all that has been learned these years.  seems certain like an evolution.

11.19.2019

Not yet has a person condemned this mission, this grief and outrage response to what we are doing to Children trying to immigrate to this country from the South America we have destroyed. This is shocking to James but correct.


Friday rain. It will be a day of rest or a day of great Danger.

It is very dangerous to try and move Saul in the rain because of no windshield wipers, very poor visibility. It is hoped that the Walmart will be glad for us to stay not just one night for two nights in the parking lot. If so there is a library where the date can be spent catching up on about a dozen overdue post transcriptions and other work.


A better day saul and I never have had. Scrambling To maintain tight relationship with the scrambling knees scrambling to maintain a relationship with the scrambling petals.


Is not an attempt at a word salad here. These words are pretty descriptive of the best day sol n I have ever had. All it would seem due to the concept of scrambling. 

 Over the years James has come close to this kind of productive day with saul And that it was the absence of the concept that scrambling is the ideal

One of the sweetest encounters that James has had in his entire years. Such a privilege. Such a joy.


A month ago a wonderful suggestion came to James by a special T parts supplier that he finally met in Oklahoma City. James, if you had a small electrical generator gas driven then it could open up some substantial avenues for you the friend said. James looked incredulous and rightly the friend said oh, yes I know you're a purist. Well James is not a purist. Not that it would matter but he isn't. And

Hunger strike to stop Global Extinction


11.18.2019

Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Clinton, Clinton, Obama, Obama, Bezos, Barr, Biden, McConnell, Musk, Gates,.....


This poor old body. How has it been able to do this? And we can't stop right now. Weather, holiday traffic, the lack of places to stay.


Ready or Not, Mississippi and Ohio rivers here we come.

 By late morning we should know. A local said that the traffic over these Bridges is very low contrary to what another source had said. Hopefully today is source is correct. And encouragingly Google thinks it's okay for a bike. We'll see.




Cycling. Why can't I just have a normal boyfriend?!?! Dear, they don't exist.


 James, if you are looking for a normal way to move sol , or the 400 pounds of you and soul that you move every day for between 4 and 8 hours, if you are looking for a normal sane relaxed understandable way of doing that, well, it doesn't exist. 

And this for the last 5 or 6 days is what you had