NOTICE:
From any post click the photo across the page top to see the entire blog.
JAMES' PERSONAL WRITINGS: SLOVING
JAMES' MOST STRATEGIC POSTS: *****
MUCH OF MY POSTING WAS ON FACEBOOK: STARTLOVING1

12.22.2018

Autism. The blind pathologizing those .... >>>



Autism. The blind pathologizing those who have sight? Extraordinary insights from my friend. Empathy deficit? Deep empathy overload. Overloaded souls in a sick world.

To my friend who has children with autism I sent this video that you've probably seen, along with the following note. And my friend replied.

Depressed and Then Diagnosed With Autism, Greta Thunberg

I wrote: I so relate to this young person. I've often wondered if I am on the autistic Spectrum though that is supposed to involve profound lack of empathy and that does not seem to be my problem. Hugs

https://www.commondreams.org/news/2018/12/19/depressed-and-then-diagnosed-autism-greta-thunberg-explains-why-hope-cannot-save


My friend: ahhhhhh well that's the very very common and very very wrong assumption that so many make about those with autism...even folks who are supposedly experienced and trained make this mistake all too often....that those on the spectrum lack empathy. I have never seen this to be the case. Not in my children and certainly not in any of the other autistic folks I've been around of any age. If anything it is more suffering from a profound SURPLUS of empathy and being near paralyzed by it that is far more typical. And I read more and more articles that back up this more radical view.

It is more a lack of empathy on the part of the caregivers and the researchers in my opinion that leads them to this very wrong conclusion. Because they fail so utterly to understand the motivations and reactions of these unique individuals. Because how could they understand? Their brains are not wired at all the same.

Here's an example. When my child was in 2nd grade he got suspended and I was called down to the office to school for a "very serious" incidence of my child apparently "BULLYING" another child. I was shocked, flabbergasted and appalled that his teachers and administrators at the school so utterly failed to see who my child is and what he is capable of. So I went to the school and listened to all the things they accused my child of. Here was the tale: there was another student who was having a hard time, crying, throwing a tantrum, apparently inconsolable. and while the teachers and "responders" were trying their hardest to contain the situation, My child was absolutely incapable of following the instructions all the other students were given to ignore what was going on and get back to work. What /they/ saw was that my child walked over and started laughing in close proximity to the boy. In defiance of their orders. So they interpreted that as malicious, as him laughing AT the boy and trying to make things worse. Which somehow escalated into him being a bully. So I kept quiet and listened as they all scrambled to roll out this story about my son that not a single bone in my body felt was true. When they concluded I said, well, what did my child tell you happened when you asked him? And they all stopped and looked at each other and said, well, we didn't ask him. We just sent your child to the office for disobeying and making everything worse for everyone. Your child was being a BULLY they insisted.

So I said, did my child cause the student to be sad? or upset? No, no your child didn't do that. I said, okay well my child is in the next room, go ask my child. So my child came in and looked red and ashamed and vulnerable and sad and I said, can you tell me why you laughed when that boy was having a hard time? And my child started crying and said through his tears, "I was laughing because the teachers told us that laughter was the best medicine for sadness, so I wanted to go over and cheer him up"

You could have heard a pin drop. I smiled and looked at my child and said, "of course you did honey, thank you, that's what I thought. You need to know that most people didn't understand that's what you were trying to do, and that most people here don't think the way you do, so you may have to occasionally explain to them what you're doing so they understand."

So they let my child go back into the other room. And I stared them down and said, okay, so first you're going to tear up that piece of paper that uses the word BULLY that you want me to sign and put in my child’s permanent record. And then you're going to find a way to apologize to my my child for traumatizing him over my child’s misguided attempts to help a friend in need. And then you're going to let my child get back to class and learn some stuff rather than punish my child for giving a fuck.

ANYWAYS, they did all the things I asked. And my child has been treated and responded to differently ever since. They now understand that my child is NOT even capable of lying and if anything is more likely to get in trouble by confessing to doing things my child thinks maybe shouldn't have even when nobody is looking for someone to blame. They also understand that my child’s heart, even if actions are awkward and confused because of difficulty connecting with and understanding how to interact with neurotypical folks, is in the right place. It's gotta be so frustrating and challenging for my child when I'm not there to help translate for or advocate for him, but my child's getting better at doing that all the time.

James, I'd say, there's a pretty strong chance you are on the higher functioning end of the autism spectrum. I know that I very likely am. It's just that being female for some reason makes the symptoms different, less severe, than it can present in males. I suffer greatly at times from an excess of empathy. It's crippling, if you look at it in a way...but in other ways it's enormously liberating, because I can see and understand things at a level so many others seem utterly incapable of. Fascinating, really...

Thank you for sharing this :) I love reading stories of children standing up to asshole adults Heart.

My friend provided some of the research and I found a third piece easily.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/a-radical-new-autism-theory

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/aspergers-alive/201303/guide-reporting-autism-theory-mind-empathy

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/201705/is-autism-really-empathy-disorder

The blind Society pathologizing those who can see.

PS. What a tremendous contribution from my friend, and personally I find it extremely Illuminating on my own life. A shallow empathy cripple am I, but deep empathy, not so much. For much of my years I yearned for the reverse. But for decades now I have understood it as my wealth. My soul. My life. Thank goodness it was never the reverse.

12.19.2018

Quail!


Ravens snacking


Who can imagine being like Jesus, or Buddha, or Confucius, or Gandhi, or Martin Luther King Jr? Who would want to? Such.....



Who can imagine being like Jesus, or Buddha, or Confucius, or Gandhi, or Martin Luther King Jr? Who would want to? Such lives are so admirable, most people do admire them, but be like them? I happen to know someone who does want to be like them, me. They are the folks I have envied from my earliest recollection, such an extraordinary quality of life. To love the world that much. I suspect this is what has been missing in all the religions. So close and yet so far. The most admirable enviable Quality of life ever achieved is by such individuals. And some, many, most, all of us are born to be capable of such quality of life.

12.16.2018

Gladly living in the winter time without external heat








Living without external heat in the cold. Reflections.

Twice in the last 3 years this healthy but 67 year old male body has existed for extended periods in cold weather without external heat sources for the body, except for the occasional cup of hot liquid.

This by choice, options were available. Going to warmer climates. Moving into a heated structure. Not by way of some idealistic force of will but rather by choice of greed for optimal experience greedy choice for joy is my reason for choosing to live in the uheated cold.

This was entirely unforeseen by me. I would have thought it impossible, living in and unheated tent by choice at Standing Rock North Dakota December through February. More recently living in the excruciatingly beautiful Hills around Lone Pine at the base of Mount Whitney. Warmer Joshua Tree 250 miles south was where I expected to be 6 weeks ago.

Is my body completely happy with this choice? Almost completely but not at the beginning of each.

Unexpected lessons being learned.

A heat source is always available, exercise, movement, walking, running, ..... all medical doctors with compassion reading this are filled with Gladness. This means periodic exercise rather than the otherwise sitting in a recliner for 3 or 4 hours at a time. Instead, brief periods Of the affore mentioned movement introduced, very happily.

2. Clothing, sleeping bags, both in layers. Does my body prefer sleeping in an external heated room or appropriate sleeping bags? The former was my guess. The letter in actual fact. It is just as comfortable. The thermostat is as easily available as opening the hood or folding back the bag. And my soul loves the simplicity of it all. The sustainability. The greedlessness of it.

My body and cerebral cortex, flesh and head respectively as opposed to my soul, are a bit frustrated to say the least at the beginning of these junkets. James, this is requiring so much effort putting on or removing layers of clothing, so much time. Sadly it takes days or weeks for these two parts of my nervous system to get in the habit of this routine. But they do. And then just my soul is left to be really glad at the sustainability of, and greedlesness, of this approach.

Cycling is the sole mode of Transportation and primary means of exercise and heat for this old guy. Cycling generally for me results in profuse sweating. In the days or weeks at the beginning of such. The body and flesh do nothing but whine about this. But finally my soul says, get over it guys. And figures out that peddling at 115 watts per hour output instead of 135 heats the body nicely, moves the vehicle satisfactory,  at little or no sweat!

Joy is the answer. See recent posts and video logs on my log. The pursuit of happiness and pleasure says that these writings above and experience are idiocy, mistaken ideas, insanity. But the pursuit of joy, the optimal human experience says quite the opposite.

Oh, several other things.

And then there is this amazing thing the human body. The mystery of its adaptation too cold and hot has not yet been fully solved by me. The duration, most effective triggers, are things yet to be mastered by me. But it is quite amazing. Awakening this morning at 28 degrees Fahrenheit and then sitting and working, writing and researching, at 33 degrees my hands and body were behaving like they did in 50 degree weather 4 weeks ago. Some of that is the confidence comes from that recent experience. James, yes your toes are cold, but as soon as you decide to get up and walk for 15 minutes or run for 8, they'll be warm again. Don't worry.

Some of it is learning curve regarding sleeping bags and garments. What works best for me under what circumstances? Tonight will it be too $30 sleeping bags or one? Today will it be no upper body base layer, a medium-weight one, heavyweight, or 2?

On a different but related note, solar thermal, solar thermal, solar thermal, solar thermal, solar thermal, Did I mention solar thermal? For the heating of water, the heating of a dwelling, pre-heating of all cooking water.

And, persistence paying off, $60 boots with 800 grams of thinsulate insulation for the feet

James

Very long ears has my neighbor.








12.12.2018

Video log update. Gladly captive in Lone Pine.

Most important book in the world, the other one. Great Transformation, Karen Armstrong. I'm on my first of



Most important book in the world, the other one. Great Transformation, Karen Armstrong. I'm on my first of what I expect to be several readings. Slowed by my arduous first priority of writing a review of the other most important book, great because it is not as toxic as the other books of psychology, spiritual evolution, George Vaillant.“The one and only test of a valid religious idea, doctrinal statement, spiritual experience, or devotional practice was that it must lead directly to practical compassion. Ifyour understanding of the divine made you kinder, more empathic, and impelled you to express this sympathy in concrete acts of loving-kindness, this was good theology. But if your notion of God made you unkind, belligerent, cruel, or self-righteous, or if it led you to kill in God’s name, it was bad theology. Compassion was the litmus test for the prophets of Israel, for the rabbis of the Talmud, for Jesus, for Paul, and for Muhammad, not to mention Confucius, Lao-tzu, the Buddha.…. “

12.11.2018

Jesus religion, not Christianity, not Judaism, is lived solidarity, empathy, compassion, with all of creation. Picture

I cannot feed people that are not hungry. Neither could Jesus, or those...... >>



I can't feed people that are not hungry. Neither could Jesus, or those like him throughout history. He couldn't give living Waters to those who were not thirsty, and neither can I. What I can do is to continue to deepen the well, continue to lay out the banquet, in the unlikely event that anyone ever finds themselves thirsty or hungry. At long last maybe I am finally learning this.

12.09.2018

Regarding our cultural yearning for a life partner. Comments to a sister.



A dear young sister shared with me the yearning that she feels to find a loving committed partner:

Those few that ever hear what I have to say must have incredible patience because what a broken record I am. I share this with you not at you but it comes to mind with what you've shared with me. Again.

I remain convinced that we are born to be, the butterfly, the Wagers of loving, for the every breath that we do reward of joy. Not happiness, more likely intense pain, but joy. But for that to transpire it seems that we need enough of a cocoon. I'm not certain of that because it seems to me there are exceptions, young Rachel Corrie for example. But for all practical purposes we need a cocoon throughout our childhood or maybe just for a couple of days. Hard to know.

My dad was that cocoon for me all of my youth.

But once enough of that cocoon has been available only a butterfly in a really sick collection of butterflies succumbs to their insistence that the Cocoon is where they want to be. And all of us are swimming in that sick collection of butterflies. 2018.

More than life itself I was convinced for my first 45 years or so that all I wanted and all I needed to survive, way more than anything else, was to be in a loving partnership. I will never know if that was true for me.

I know that it is not true for me now, and there is no one that seems to have it that I find myself envying. I have to acknowledge that it could be a function of a different hormonal mixture in me now and brain development which was not available earlier. But I see myself of today, 67 years old, in young Rachel Corrie who to my knowledge did not have such a partnership Central in her life. I see myself, my soul, the joyful Part of Me, In Jane Goodall who to my knowledge never had such a partnership Central in her life.

Again, dear sister, this is not directed at you rather you have brought it to my mind to further explore for myself and to share.

Video, colonialism documentary, 4 minutes. Must see.


12.06.2018

Joy is the solution to life, Goodness, Flourishing, Parenting, Optimal Experience, Personal trauma..... [species flourishing].....>>>


Joy is the solution to life, Goodness, Flourishing, Parenting, Optimal Experience, Personal trauma..... [species flourishing].....

40 years I've been living on the basis of this Theory. As an executive leader in the high-tech industry it was my guiding principle. As a parent. But not blindly, nothing blindly.

My initial base of information was observing my father who did this in my view, and through him the person Jesus, and Gandhi, and King, Teresa of Calcutta and many since.

To say that joy is the answer is to say that the cure for individual or Collective cancer has been found. This Theory may be incorrect but that is the import of what it asserts, far more important than the Cure of cancer which only kills the body.

Instrumentation is beginning to exist to prove or disprove this Theory within the human nervous system but what is lacking is scientists with their hands on these instruments that have any knowledge or experience of joy in their lives so the best I can hope is that they will slowly approximate and I'm afraid like George vaillant, spiritual Evolution, totally misinterpret and Missapply the results.

Were any of the individuals I just mentioned in on this conversation they would be saying, yes, James, the above is exactly right.

If I did anything right as a father it was realizing pretty much on the day of the first one's birth, that joy is what I wanted for that child and then the second one, more than anything else. And that therefore as a father I owed to that child more than anything else that there be joy in my life as my example would be the most powerful influence I would have on that child, those children. I was quite sure that was true then, all of my study, practice, experience, life everyday since has indicated that it was.

Where does Joy come from? It is the reward provided by the nervous system when it thinks we are devoting our very existence to do something really really important for others who are in dire need. The best formula I've come up with is serving the neediest from the soul in solidarity.

[It was the solution to species survival and flourishing, but it is too late for that. But it will always be the solution to the individual flourishing even on the sinking Titanic, every breath.]

Every breath that I am given my highest priority will be on substantiating the above for myself through exhaustive study of the most scholarly information, practice, and sharing that in how I live and in what I write as best I can.

The most substantiated book on psychology in this vein is George vaillant, spiritual evolution. I'm on my 5th reading and struggling to keep my head from exploding with how much he got wrong, but he got Nuggets right that the horrible insane field of psychology has gotten wrong for so long.

At his recommendation I'm also reading Karen Armstrong, the great transformation, which among other things brilliantly presents the history of the Great inventors throughout history for ways of being individually and collectively to optimize experience, so-called religions. They have been relative failures, but there is much much much much to be learned from what they have done so that some of us can figure out how to go beyond, how to invent what was really needed.

Suicide, drugs, mountains of material things, alcohol, marijuana, wallowing in regret for depression or guilt, sex addiction, do not occur with the individuals devoted to a life of joy, see LSGIABeing.com. it doesn't happen. Inconceivable. People who are trying to be good? Yes, these things happen. But those pursuing Joy by whatever conception or none, no, it doesn't happen. These are the equivalent of the Buddhist ideal who have refused Nirvana to stay and serve.

12.02.2018

The gifts we got from Dad, and mom. Detail.



The gifts we got from Dad, and mom. Detail.

My dad, and mom, had many gifts that we could receive.

The gift of wealthiness from my dad one of my siblings received, along with the gift of great physical handsomeness, presence, attractiveness. Wide social respect. Unlike my dad this sibling wanted the wealth to pleasure and aggrandize themself, and the esteem for themself, rather than to serve others.

One sibling received the gift of dad’s extraordinary intellect, raw intelligence, and the pleasurable intoxication from that, and none of his compassion and heart.

One sibling received almost none of his gifts, practically none, but the ability of my mom to pleasantly socially exploit others, and the so-called happiness that is insanely pursued in that way.

And two of his children received the gift of his every breath 7/24 Devotion to the well-being of those he was called to help, but each of these children did so with the populations they individually could best help. And thereby they received the gift of joy.

I am one of these last two. I did not receive those other gifts, and I never wanted them, except superficially. I wanted the gift of Joy and after 50 years Found the courage of my convictions and threw off the distractions of pursuing pleasure and have had Joy, not happiness, thank goodness, but joy every breath since. And the pain that is the stuff that devotion metabolizes, love metabolizes, soul metabolizes, and turns into joy every breath. And pain.

11.30.2018

A deeply good soul out of the blue today made a substantial financial contribution to this mission. My reply. How did you know? In recent months the vehicle..... >>>

A deeply good soul out of the blue today made a substantial financial contribution to this mission. My reply. How did you know? In recent months the vehicle and I have developed a much more sustainable relationship. It has become really stable. But even for a stable vehicle things will go. And about 4 days ago a remaining huge vulnerability was discovered in the vehicle when the $400 transmission failed. Several nights later in the middle of the night I awoke understanding why it failed. And can take steps soon to be sure that the situation doesn't arise again. But today was spent installing that $400 object. And the weather the last 7 months has been so easy, so conducive to this solar vehicle and the journey. But not so starting 4 days ago when cold wind and rain and high wind descended. A harbinger of what I knew was coming but especially with the vehicle practically immobile I was not ready psychologically, logistically, although I was probably pretty well-equipped. So two nights at a wonderful hostel were also invested in. Your contribution came at a wonderful time. My spirits are good but as usual you lifted them higher. You are a wind under our wings. The day May Come, the day is likely to come, when I can provide such help to you. Hugs. James

Riddle. How can Family Values destroy millions of families gladly? Answer. Family is those in my tribe. Silly rabbit.

Riddle. How can Family Values destroy millions of families gladly? Answer. Family is those in my tribe. Silly rabbit.