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JAMES' PERSONAL WRITINGS: SLOVING
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Showing posts with label Waging Loving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Waging Loving. Show all posts

11.19.2018

Frustrating and hurtful this nice man finds me, or, our interactions..... >>>



Frustrating and hurtful this nice man finds me, or, our interactions.



There are few people that are drawn to interacting with me and of that tiny population this man's hurt and frustration is pretty typical.

Some thoughts occur to me on this this morning that seemed worth capturing here. Some of it I've written before, but much of it is new Clarity and I'm grateful to this man for speaking clearly and honestly to me.

It is never my intention to hurt or frustrate, but rarely if ever is avoiding that my purpose either. Knowing the possibility if not likelihood, rarely if ever do I seek to draw people into engagement with me. Drawing people into engagement with me is left to creator, whatever creator is.

Notice. Anyone that reads this and considers the following seriously will know that they've done so because it will cross their mind that I am stark raving mad. It will at least cross their mind. Seriously.

In a way I suppose I'm called to be a tour guide, or, an Expedition leader. And a ragingly unsuccessful one at that. But in fiction so were characters like Yoda and obi-wan. And were Buddha, Confucius, Jesus alive today they would consider themselves the same, ragingly unsuccessful tour guides, Expedition leaders.

Oh, they have gigantic fan clubs, but virtually no followers, no joiners, no folk standing alongside them or even trying to go beyond. No one envies them which is all they would have wanted.

The shirt worn by me says, I serve alongside this outsider soul and it has a cross indicating that the soul is the person Jesus. Not long ago a person identified them self to me, very friendly, as a pastor, a Baptist pastor. I was reading your shirt, he said. I serve him too!.

But the shirt very definitely does not say anything about serving Jesus, but rather serving alongside, two profoundly different things. I didn't cite how Jesus told the so-called apostles that they had become friends, brothers, not servants.

Pathologically, we want to be fans, We want to be fans, we want to follow whatever that means, but we want not to stand alongside, let alone, go beyond, with all of our might!

Projection is one of the major mechanisms that we unconsciously use to protect ourselves from the frightening task of coming along side such people. We're terrified of the self measurement that that would bring on sadly never knowing that life and growth only would come about in that way.

This brilliant post came across my Facebook feed yesterday. The same idea regarding Buddha was in the very brief study I made of him several decades ago.





He was possessed by the same Madness, the same Insanity, LOL, that possessed Jesus, Confucius, and others of their ilk. And me. All experienced that they encountered what would save the world, but more importantly, what was Heaven itself on Earth. Optimal Human Experience. The most enviable way of being. The most gratifying way of being.

And no one can see it. We twist ourselves into knots using projection to convince ourselves that the immature selfishness that our culture invokes in us is what they tried to lead us to, or, that that immature selfishness and its associated pleasures is the best we can do until life after this one.

As the subject of fan clubs they have been wildly successful! As the tour guides, the expedition leaders, that they gave their lives to be, they have been total failures. Like me.

And as for me, Expect nothing other than this from me. Ask nothing other than this from me. As absurd as it must seem, I wrote yesterday of the depression I frequently feel, I experience my quality of life as more enviable than anything I see elsewhere on earth. My mission, my soul purpose, is to become a better and better tour guide exactly to that. And rarely, and less and less everyday, will I feed into the projection of others that I really think there are alternatives. I don't.

Ignore me. Detach from me. Disagree with me. But don't expect that I'm going to depart from my mission, and to, for whatever good reason, help people feel good about the alternative ways of being that they have selected. It's not going to happen. I'm not going to lie.

7.17.2016

***** Why we have never, probably will never, eliminate White (or any) Privilege: nearly all of those who have privilege, nearly all of we who have privilege, want peace and Justice in the world, want the best for our underprivileged sisters and brothers. We are simply unwilling to personally pay the price for that. If I have.......

Why we have never, probably will never, eliminate White (or any) Privilege: nearly  all of those who have privilege, nearly all of we who have privilege,  want peace and Justice in the world, want the best for our  underprivileged sisters and brothers.  We are simply unwilling to personally pay the price for that. If I have a loaf of bread because I stole the resources for it from my neighbor I have incited violence in the world in two ways by having that loaf of bread. 1. I have stolen what is his. 2. I have what he needs for himself and his family in truth or at least psychologically. Had it been done to me I would be incited to rage and violence, and so would you be. Even if in no way did I physically steal the resources from my neighbor that still leaves the incitement that my hoarding what he needs for himself and his family for a decent life rightly incites, rage and violence. White Privilege, all privilege, is, equals, superior material power. Superior economic power. Those in power, we in power, all of us that have resources that billions of people on Earth do not have, we are those of privilege. It is not the 1% in America, or the .1%, as we try and convince ourselves.  It is at least the top 20-50%  or more of us in America  that are grotesquely over privileged. It is we that are making certain that the Earth becomes more and more violent. All of us that have  the resources that billions on Earth are craving  are the rich young man that Jesus spoke of.  And we turn from his example  and lie to ourselves for 2000 years now that he did not mean that we,  each and every one of us, were to give all that we had,  all that we have, to the poor, so that we all were materially equal, exactly as we would expect every group of well brought-up toddlers to be. But we  refused to heed Jesus Direction,  to be like a toddler. Are you okay with that? Is your privilege worth the price to you of a world in Unstoppable violence and death spiral? Not me. Used to be, no more. Injustice, no peace. More than a chance, a rule of nature. Injustice, no peace. Injustice, no peace. Injustice, no peace.

6.06.2016

***** How the f*** is it that it takes a lifetime to become an effective surgeon, years to become an effective nurse, years or a lifetime to become an effective artist, years to become an effective Soldier or police person, years to become an effective gymnast or skier or a surfer... But two hours, or just a momentary self-declaration, to become an activist? 'Act' the change.......

***** How the f*** is it that it takes a lifetime to become an effective surgeon, years to become an effective nurse, years or a lifetime to become an effective artist, years to become an effective Soldier or police person, years to become an effective gymnast or skier or a surfer... But two hours, or just a momentary self-declaration, to become an activist?

'Act' the change you want to see?
'Pretend' the change you want to see?
'Occasionally use' the change you want to see?
'Mimic' the change you wish to see?
'Put on' the change you wish to see?...

(BECOME, and) BE the change you wish to see in the world... Truth-force... Soul Force... Anti-violence... Loving.

Gandhi devoted a lifetime to trying to be, trying to become, the change he wished to see in the world, the embodiment of Truth Force, the embodiment of (TOUGH) Loving, the embodiment of Soul Force. In the end he said he had just barely scratched the surface. Was he a fool? Did he have no idea of what was involved? Was he lying? One would think so if one looks at nearly all of the so-called activists since King's assassination who think it is something that they learn in two hour training, or a decision that they make, a self-declaration, or that it is as simple as not using physical violence, and then they're all set... they're activists, just like King, just like Gandhi, and the thousands alongside them that would pay any price even death rather than violate that spirit. Magic!!! So, it turns out there is a free lunch! Would it not be so nice if Muhammad Ali had not had to devote his life to becoming the greatest at both boxing and anti-violence? Would it not be nice if the Freedom Riders, if dr. King and those fighting alongside of him, had not had to go through rigorous rigorous rigorous, in King's case, lifelong training, to become that change, to become the embodiment of non-violence, to become the embodiment of loving, anti-violence?

How the f*** is it that it takes a lifetime to become an effective surgeon, years to become an effective nurse, years to become an effective gymnast or skier or a surfer... But two hours, or just a momentary self-declaration, to become an activist?

Ah, the magic of self-delusion. Sadly, Now such self-delusion is planetary suicide. Does anyone love the future enough to wake up in time? If not you, who? If not here, where? If not now, when?

3.30.2016

***** 60 miles, north of Baltimore more tired than in many many many many years.........

It was a really really really good day. Eventful, a really really really really good day. I'm sitting at an equivalent of Wawa, Royal Farms. I am so exhausted that there are no words. I've been peddling for 6 hours straight which is. 5 to 5 and a half hours more than any day in the last 7 months, on two and a half hours sleep which is about seven and a half hours left then I get each night.. 60 miles, versus the 6 miles a day I've been averaging for many months now. I don't know how this was possible, other than this will that has got a hold of me to do anything in my power to give creation a future. LOL. How it was possible I don't know. But now that I've stopped, well there are no words for how totally and completely exhausted, spent, I am. I expect I'll try and hide over in a corner of the parking lot, throw down my sleeping bag in a blanket animat and hope not to be disturbed until 4 in the morning and then to head out for Westchester.. So who knows if I'll be able to move tomorrow or the next day or the next day. But there's a possibility that I could make Westchester by tomorrow afternoon late. I'm just north of Baltimore. Mercifully much of the ride was on bike pads which I had at least one inch of clearance left to get this large vehicle through. And much of it on traffic Laden High Speed roads. Tomorrow will be the same.
I lost five hours of travel with that broken chain, which turned out LOL, such a comedy I can be, was not broken at all. I had good reason to think that it was, but it wasn't. So the bike shop that I waited to open at 10 o'clock, profoundly nice guys, we had great conversations, help me get it back on the cogs, they enjoyed driving the vehicle, had not seen one.
Aside from this insane will that has me by the throat, today's progress, a third of it, can be laid at the feet of the 12 mile an hour Tailwind that I had and full sun all day long, which combined with this really clever solar trailer that I have rigged gave me enough solar energy with my physical energy.
By the way, various software packages I have to say that I burned some where around 2000 calories today, and between a 20 ounce hot chocolate and 5 bags of Easter candy that was on sale here I'm just heading back. I have not eaten anything all day long, well, I had a couple of chocolate Bagels.
An hour ago I received a very appropriate phone call from one of the organizers of democracyspring.org. We spoke about their plans and my plans and it looks like tremendous Synergy, the solar vehicle and myself will be very welcome it appears. I suspected, but you never know, when it comes to me. Actually, if it turns out I am welcome that will be a first in 15 years, except for Thomas.
PS, looks like sleeping here is not an option, there's a Walmart 4 Miles up the road, maybe I can make that. That's always worked out in the past, but so has this. No, there is not money for a hotel although Lord knows my body is aching for a tub of hot water. That's money our children in Palestine needed.
Pps. Anybody know if the bike trail that goes over the interstate Bridge from Philadelphia to Cherry Hill New Jersey, if that is wide enough for a 52 inch wide solar bicycle. Almost all bike trails are, but if they're not, they're not.
Ppps.   As I was literally summoning the impossibility of standing , and going to make final preparations for the half-hour, Four Mile trip to Walmart, please let me sleep there, I looked out the window, there was an African-American man my age, back to me, reading the side of the vehicle with the image of Jesus, which talks about serving the global neediest from the soul in solidarity for the infinite peace of heart and joy of it. Stood there for 30 seconds reading it carefully. And turning his gaze to the empty line of fuel pumps, no one in the parking lot, gave a passionate, energetic, definitive thumbs-up , no one watching, gave a thumbs up.  and then he walked across the parking lot and disappeared. 

Pppps .   outside I was flattening the solar panel which at 3pm i angled on the trailer West, doubling or tripling its output, that is so satisfying and so effective. A car pulled up next to my space, a fellow probably about my age, very thin, white guy, not many teeth left, car on its last legs, his female companion, wife maybe, inside comma wonder and awe at the ll vehicle. Wonder and awe,, something that is totally totally totally totally totally devoid in Washington DC and most metropolitan areas. Wonder and awe at the vehicle. we had a nice chat. As he was pulling away I said, do you think they'll let me sleep in the parking lot at Walmart? Oh sure he said. And then he thought, and said, listen, I live 2 blocks down that street, he pointed, just passed my house, the last one on the Block, is an industrial park field with tractor trailers. It is totally safe, totally peaceful. I don't even lock my house. You know, he said excitedly, that's the place where the railroad trailer car blew up not too long ago. He didn't see the humor in it, I laughed. That's where I'll go. I'll be there in 10 minutes, lying down next to the vehicle in 30 minutes, and hope that I have a body when I wake up to an alarm at 4 in the morning to resume this trip.

Pppppps . Heading to the industrial park I noticed a fellow comma probably a drug dealer, had been standing on an empty corner for the several hours since I had been there, interested in the vehicle, would have seen me turn. And going 2 blocks back and seeing the industrial park, one Factory in it works Around the Clock and although dark and quiet there was no exit. So three and a half miles later I'm at the Walmart planning to set up for a couple of hours till things close down and then maybe another 3 hours lying next to the vehicle once my legs wake me up. The legs had some life in them. Maybe part of it was a serious calorie deficit.

2.25.2016

"Have faith," my friend said as I observed that the Titanic is going down. (In our society that almost always means have denial, have fantasy.) "What faith is that which I should have? Honesty......

"Have faith," my friend said as I observed that the Titanic is going down. (In our society that almost always means have denial, have fantasy.) "What faith is that which I should have? Honesty and realism is how I think I can best serve, how I can best inform the steps in my life. Faith that doing good will help the world, attempting good will help the world, will help the Titanic, will help those on the Titanic, even as it inevitably is going down. That faith, yes," I replied.