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Explosion this morning, Phyllis my friend caused it.

In response to this video, , Phyllis my sole friend from a high school class of 350, said, James, you chose heaven.

That brilliant Insight from Phyllis will help me for the rest of my days.

she put words to what I have known and pursued from my earliest, criminally over privileged, substantially autistic I think, youth. For reasons I neither understand nor can justify, as a horribly ignorant young child, from my earliest memories, I believed that heaven was available on Earth, in this life, and that we were to be in it. And for Olympic caliber greed that I have I have never lost that belief, nor stop striving for it.

having said that, I suppose I just gained insight into why this is true about me. Probably due to what I'll guess was substantial autism, and the divinely good biological father I had, and the physical Garden of eden he provided for us, edge of a multi Thousand Acre Nature Preserve, which I was allowed to disappear into day after day, it gave me such an obvious taste... I was steeped in the manifestations of Heaven. The evidence. But why did no one else get that taste? Lack of Autism?

So although sister Phyllis articulated it this morning, gave me the right words to it, the substance of that Vision has drawn me on maniacally all of my years and got me there beginning about 18 years ago when I finally found the courage of my convictions, helped by the Sage's throughout history I had surrounded myself with,, to say, yes, our culture, profoundly intoxicating, profoundly pleasurable, is one trillion percent wrong, and Heaven, a life of Joy, is in exactly the opposite direction of what it tells us.
And I began crawling in that new Direction. And almost immediately there by got there.

But James, what are you talkin about? You have nothing. Some plastic and a few electrical parts.

You slept in 14 degree weather last night, alone, substantially vulnerable to the elements, creatures, and evil-doers that could do it without a chance of being caught? Regularly you speak of the depression you go into.

Only in the last several days have the words of Jesus crystallized into something I really understood. To paraphrase him, the kingdom of God, heaven? It is not like this, oh, lo here, Lo there, even at the Magnificent base of Mount Whitney. No, because the kingdom of God is within you, he said.

The kingdom of God is one of the Myriad of existent States within us that we can inhabit, and it is very much influenced by the environment, as the seed is profoundly influenced by its environment. But it is not the environment. The environment as the nutrients around the seed, can help actualize that. The physical environment I alluded to above that I was brought up in, and the environment that I have increasingly created for myself, no credit to me, all of the faces that you can see if this site,, has been worked into My Soul by me, no credit to me, and more so every day.
Can I justify this all consuming greed of all of my days? Yes. Because the nature of this greed is not for this pitiful husk of a creature, James, but for what James experiences himself as as a soul, all of creation. James lives for all of creation to be in this heaven.

And oh by the way, there's nothing mystical about this heaven. It is a creation given, DNA given, psychological potentiality. And all of the faces, and all of the souls, at this site, have entered in, and or documented the place for us making it that much more possible to find and inhabit, and or died to help us enter in.

And every breath and hour that James is given he will spend trying to increase the odds that he can help maybe one person enter in.

Phyllis, you totally destroyed my carefully planned morning, bless your heart. Hugs

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