From my earliest memory pain is what I was afraid of, my own suffering, or that of people close to me , never death, I never then or now remember being afraid of my own death.
I experience that my relationship to suffering, my own, maybe changing in a way that I find promising and even wonderful.
Weeks ago anticipating the possibility of tremendous suffering at the hands of the police state, my own suffering, and the potential of prolong suffering for years in prison as a consequence, I reported that all of a sudden I felt my spirit evolving. I began to find that if I looked to my left or my right I could see my children and their parents in Syria who's suffering will always exceed mine, and the parents and children in Palestine where it is exactly the same , and or the parents or children in u.s. Israeli prisons suffering tortures I'll never suffer no matter what. And that in doing this my Terror went away.
Today I had two teeth extracted. When the dentist looked at my x-rays and how deeply embedded The Roots were in the bone he almost groaned. He was a master. No one could have done a better job. Few could have done nearly as well.
But I have had similar teeth work in recent years and again, my relationship to my own suffering is changing. In anticipation of the pain I rapidly summon into my mind children and adults being savagely tortured in Israeli jails for simply being non-jewish human beings whose land the white settlers want at any price to the Palestinians. My worry about my own suffering and my experience of it diminished tremendously.
If this is a passing technique and in the future does not help me I will report this but I suspect it is a tremendous Evolution and gift for me.